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[a习作temp] 【09GRE作文冲刺组】yanxin19 3月1日作文A [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-1 15:17:09 |显示全部楼层
The author contends that adding Salicylates to food as preservatives will treat headaches of citizens(countable) of Mentia. To support this assertion, it is cited that Salicylates are situated in the same chemical family as aspirin, and that a twenty-year survey reports a correlation between commercial use of Salicylates as food additives and the decline in the average number of headaches reported by its participants. After that, the author adds(
supplementes) that Salicylates be used as flavor additives for food by the way. Granted well organized, this argument suffers from several crucial logical flaws, which render it wholly unpersuasive as it stands.
To the first point, the author fails to amount the effect of Salicylates to the effect of aspirin, a medicine(no n ) proved to be useful at headache statistically. It is mentioned that the two kinds of chemicals are in the same family, however, they may differs in various factors, the Salicylates may not have any effect on headache. Even they could cure headaches like aspirin, the time period of the recovery, the procedure of curing are not always to be identical.
To the second point, the author fails to mention enough information to ensure the confidence and validation of the twenty-year study. Whether the size of participants is large enough (change) statistically(not stas), whether they are suffered from headache and the demography status of the participants not clear. Without ruling out these possible variances, it is insufficient to draw any conclusion about the general population from it. What is more, this study is impossible to apply in the citizen of Mentia without another survey revealing(no double L) that the status mentioned above(change) is the same between the participants
cited and citizen of Mentia

To the third point, The author ignores other means, such as recuperation, reasonable(合理的) sports to cure headache. Without considering such alternatives, we cannot justifiably conclude that using Salicylates as preservatives will decline the incidence of headaches of citizen of Menti
To the last point, whether the input of these chemical material is legal and ethical is in doubt.

(抱歉最后一段时间不够 不用看了)
In conclusion, the assertion for adding Salicylates as preservatives will surely decline the incidence of headaches of citizen of Mentia, at least based on the summary, is not well supported. To
convince me that it is the case, the author must place........
To better evaluate ... ,I need more evidence..........
applied: 10 offer:1 reject: 1

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RE: 【09GRE作文冲刺组】yanxin19 3月1日作文A [修改]

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