【☆09GRE作文冲刺组☆】 3月6日号作业

爱上猪的狗UID: 2598667

3月6日

I 70( 22)政治  70 "In any profession -- business, politics, education, government -- those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership." [05/18; 06/4](489.50min) 最后：超15min
在任何领域，商业、政治、教育、政府，掌权者都应该在5年任期后下台。对任何事业而言，取得成功最保险的途径就是聘用新生力量担当领导。
In modern society, every profeesion are inevitable needs suitable leaders to guarantee the development. Those who advocate the claim, such as the speaker, argue that those in powe should step down after five years which is the surest path to success. It might be tempting to agree with the speaker in some cases.However, as I perceive the issue, applying this claim to every fieds is actually not a reasonable choice.My argument for this issue are listed as follows.

As a threshold matter, we cannot overlook the fact that new leaders will bring fresh idea to the regarding fields both in country and some small groups. Many international and national union will elect elegable persons instead of forme ones in proper time, maybe 4 years or a little longer. First, this kind of union needs new powers to provide new directions for development in the long run which is a vital part for nation and worlds. As we knows that world’s situation is changing fastly everyday, leaders must adapatable to this. But old leaders who often hold his or her assertion without flexition would block the profession’s progress. New leaders are needed to make up for the deficiency. For instance, American people elect presidents every 4 years, and one president could served two contiguous terms at most.
Last year, Albama became the new presients of USA substituting Bush. Under the economic crisis, a series of policies are proposed by Albama. He ,it is sure that, will bring more fresh air for US which will influence the whole world as well.

We,college students, faced to the same situation. Every year, we elect new students union which provide service and convinience for us and is also a connection between teacher and students. Different leaders is disparate in solving daily events and formulating relevant policies. Furthermore,it is impossible for college students to be leads in students union forever. In commensense, Freshmen and sophomores need some exerciese for leadership. When becoming juniors, they could be capable to be leaders. Simurltaneously, former leaders will quit and choose to do other jobs or be a leader in a new evironment. This is a virtuous circle for students union with new leaders every year which is also a guarantation for its success.

However, the speaker’s claim of “5 years” as a cycle time for the leaders is questionable in reality. Different professions has repalce leaders in indentical time. Usually, presidents in America are elected every five years; Students union generate new leader group every one year;The UNSG’s term of office are ten years. Also, “5 years” may be suitable for some professions either.
Therefore, ruling time is not so necessary in this claim.

In additon, changing leads too frequently is not good for the success of one profession. After all, new leaders have no rich working experience as old ones. Maybe new leaders have more original ideas. Old ones neverthless has more experience in handling practical problems whih is a superiority for old ones, especially in education. Eucation is a profession needed adequate experiences from works to be a good leader. Many presidents in unviersity have no fixed term of his position, and they often end up with their leadership in beginning of next more senior needs for leadership, such as main leaders in national education department.

For what has been discussed above, when it comes wheter we could repace new leaders every five years, I fundatmentally say “no”. Yet we also need new powers to guarantee the success of the union, thus, new leads should be elected in appropriate time and place playing significant roles in the progress of success.
A237 (42)
237The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.

(30min 416)
"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements that encourage private companies to relocate here."

In the article of local Beauville newspaper, to support the recommendation that Beauville should provide tax incentives and other financial policies which encouage private companies as the fatest way to sitmulate local ecnomic and reduce unemployment, the writer point out that Dilton reduced tax rate and offer relocation grats on city untilities for private companies relocating in it. Two manufacturing companies moved to Dilton, emplying 300 people in 18 moths. The author’s citing example may have some appealing aspects, but the article suffers a series of logical flaws, such as oversimplied comparison, which render it questionable as it stands.

As a threshold matter, the author unfairly assumps that the action of Dillton took effects in the relocation of two manufacturing companies and employement of 300 people. And the author overlooks many other factors that might contributed to the result. Perhaps, there are many natural and human resource absorbing two manufacturing companies, thus, they still moved to Dilton wihtout its favorable policies. Maybe, other policies not mentioned in the artilce is the actual motivation of the companies’ relocation. Consequelty, the author failrs to rule out all these possible explanations for the result, thus, the suggestion can not be taken seriously.
Next, even assumping that Dilton’s policies leads to their move, we cannot conclude that it is sutable for Dilton because “two companies and 300 employments “are too limited to substantiate the conlusion of the whole city’s conclusion. Maybe” two companies” is a negative evidence to the suggestion.Granted that they could prove that it is a good information based on the policy.We cannot infer that the increasing trend will devlop in the future continually.
In additon, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between Beauville and Dilton. Even discussing the recommendation rest on that the policy is significant for Diton’s ecnomic and employment, the two cities are not comparable at every aspect. In most instances, this is unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that rarely remain the same from place to place. As we know, many facots should be taken into consideration, sucha s demographic of the population, geographical condition, other regarding policies, and economic conditions.Without showing showing all other conditions in two arears have been essentailly the same, the author cannot convince that the recommendation is effective in Beauville either. Finally, no evidence is provided it will be ”the fatest way” to Billauville, even if the two cities can be compared and the methods could be used in reality.
To sum up ,the author can not justify his or her recommendation based on scant evidence provided in the passage. To evaluate the arugment more effeciently, the author need to substantiate that the whole condition of ecnomci and employment are improved by Dilton’s policies rather than other factors. We also need to know specific information about two cities in every aspect influencing the aciton’s result, thus we could conclued the recommendation’s feasibility and necessary.

血喑UID: 2603208

237The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.

(30min 416)
"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements that encourage private companies to relocate here."

In the article of local Beauville newspaper, to support the recommendation that Beauville should provide tax incentives and other financial policies which encouage private companies as the fatest way to sitmulate local ecnomic and reduce unemployment, the writer point out that Dilton reduced tax rate and offer relocation grats(grants) on city untilities for private companies relocating in it. Two manufacturing companies moved to Dilton, emplying 300 people in 18 moths. The author’s citing example may have some appealing aspects, but the article suffers a series of logical flaws, such as oversimplied comparison, which render it questionable as it stands.

As a threshold matter, the author unfairly assumps that the actions of Dillton took effects in the relocation of two manufacturing companies and employement of 300 people. And the author overlooks many other factors that might contributed to the result. Perhaps, there are many natural and human resource absorbing two manufacturing companies, thus, they still moved to Dilton wihtout its favorable policies. Maybe, other policies not mentioned in the artilce(article) is the actual motivation of the companies’ relocation. Consequelty, the author failrs(fails) to rule out all these possible explanations for the result, thus, the suggestion can not be taken seriously.
Next, even assumping that Dilton’s policies leads to their move, we cannot conclude that it is sutable(suitable) for Dilton because “two companies and 300 employments “are too limited to substantiate the conlusion of the whole city’s conclusion. Maybe” two companies” is a negative evidence to the suggestion.（为什么是消极的呢？再展开一下）Granted that they could prove that it is a good information based on the policy.We cannot infer that the increasing trend will devlop(develop) in the future continually.（为什么？）
In additon, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between Beauville and Dilton. Even discussing the recommendation rest on that the policy is significant for Diton’s ecnomic and employment, the two cities are not comparable at every aspect. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that rarely remain the same from place to place. As we know, many facots should be taken into consideration, such as demographic(demography) of the population, geographical condition, other regarding(这是个介词，不能这么用吧？relative行不行？) policies, and economic conditions.Without showing all other conditions in two arears have been essentailly the same, the author cannot convince that the recommendation is effective in Beauville either. Finally, no evidence is provided it will be ”the fatest way” to Billauville, even if the two cities can be compared and the methods could be used in reality.（这段其实已经很好了，个人认为没有必要加上一句完全没有联系的句子。）
To sum up ,the author can not justify his or her recommendation based on scant evidence provided in the passage. To evaluate the arugment more effeciently, the author need to substantiate that the whole condition of ecnomci（economic） and employment are improved by Dilton’s policies rather than other factors. We also need to know specific information about two cities in every aspect influencing the aciton’s result, thus we could conclued the recommendation’s feasibility and necessary.

总结：感觉这篇文章已经很成熟了，没有挑出大的错误。不过但从这篇文章来看你有贪多求全的倾向，在每个主要段中会隐含一些较小的错误，但这些小错误没有得到明确的解答，有时候会破坏段落的完整性。建议以后只针对几个主要的逻辑错误进行攻论，我认为没有必要把所有的错误都找出来的。


血喑
2009-3-8