ARGUMENT242【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I yyx017

joyceww88UID: 2599492

In this argument ,the arguer recommends that in order to combat the serious cheating problem among college and university students the institutions should adopt an honor code similar to Groveton's(G's) which seems successful. To support the recommendation, the arguer provides a series of advantages of the honor code. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but further consideration reveals that it contains several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.（虽然我看的argument的东西很少，但是很明显这个开头很模板。至于模板好不好，等草木斑斑来评价吧，我搞不清楚。不过我感觉模板用起来很爽，语言也比自己写的漂亮一些，学术性一些）

First and foremost. the author fails to consider possible differences among Groveton students and the other students. For instance. G always has a strict examination system while other college and university students never have .They may only have to cooperator with the partners to fulfill some projects instead. Under this situation. the adoption of the honor code will be unnecessary. In addition, according to the honor code.. the requirement that notify a faculty member if someone suspect that others have cheated is vague. The word "suspect" is really difficult to define and during the examination the students are always concentrate on their own papers, thus there is no time for them to identify whether the others is cheating or not. From this perspective, the honor code itself has faults.（最后一句是对这点错误的一个概括性总结，这个是我之前完全没想过的，学到了呵呵）（感觉类推错误，在其他写完最后用让步指出这个会不会好一点）

Secondly, samples for the survey should be statistically reliable. Unfortunately, the evidence that the author provides is insufficient to support the cheating problem is for the better. The author should give the proportion of the cheating students. Otherwise perhaps the total of the students declines, though the figure of cheating students has dropped, the problem may be more serious. Besides, there is no evidence to verify the trend of cheating has fallen during the 5 years. In fact, in fact（貌似换个词好点，连着两个in fact读起来也有点怪） of the limited evidence, it is fallacious to draw any conclusion at all.

Even the trend of cheating has dropped, it is unfair to draw the conclusion that the situation of the cheating problem has really been improved. For not to break the friendship with classmates, the majority of students are not to notify even though they find someone is cheating. Besides, no one will say they are going to cheat in the exams when they are interviewed. Thus the data of the surveys are unreliable and it is ridiculous to draw any conclusion from them. Even assuming that the situation of cheating has been improved, it is nevertheless unfair to infer the adoption of the honor code is the only cause of it. The only reason for this causal relation is that the adoption of the honor code occurs before the improved situation. However there are other possible explanations for the improvement. For example, the students work harder than before and the examination is easier or even changed into open-book exam ,thus no one will cheat any more.（这一段的错误找的很多，也比较全面，但是好像是整篇文章中这里指一点那里指一点的样子，有点散。不过连接词什么的用的很好，所以感觉衔接起来也很顺畅）

In sum, the recommendation that other colleges and universities should adopt the honor code is not well supported. To convince me, the author should provide reasonable and detailed information about the surveys and rule out all the other possible causes that make the figure down. To better evaluate the recommendation. I need to l know whether to adopt the honor code is the best way to solve the cheating problem.（同开头感觉一样，模板。我也是这么搞得，到底行不行呢，等牛人们的答案了呵呵）

同另一个同学一样，明显水平比我高，所以我还是以我的视角来说：
整篇文章读下来，觉得很规范：开头结尾，中间插三段攻击。用词也是富有变化并且合理准确，句子读起来很通顺。但是我刚刚回头看的时候，感觉A is B的句式貌似有点多，而且是缺乏变化的A IS B。恩，水平问题，就这些鸡毛蒜皮的东西说说了。对于真个文章的框架和逻辑，我不会把握因此也不知道怎么评论。反正在我看来，还是很有逻辑很顺的

seiranzcc1UID: 2514067

In this argument ,the arguer recommends that in order to combat the serious cheating problem among college and university students the institutions should adopt an honor code similar to Groveton's(G's) which seems successful. To support the recommendation, the arguer provides a series of advantages of the honor code. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but further consideration reveals that it contains several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

First and foremost. the author fails to consider possible differences among Groveton students and the other students. For instance. G always has a strict examination system while other college and university students never have .They may only have to cooperator (cooperate) with the partners to fulfill some projects instead. Under this situation. the adoption of the honor code will be unnecessary. （是一个其他学校学生没有考试的假设么？感觉极端了一点点）In addition, according to the honor code.. the requirement that notify a faculty member if someone suspect (suspects) that others have cheated is vague. The word "suspect" is really difficult to define（我觉得这个观点有意思） and during the examination the students (are) always concentrate on their own papers, thus there is no time for them to identify whether the others is (are) cheating or not. From this perspective, the honor code itself has faults(是指“错误”么，觉得作者想表达的是缺陷或者漏洞？)觉得suspect的定义入手很有力，很特别的点

Secondly, samples for the survey should be statistically reliable. Unfortunately, the evidence that the author provides is insufficient to support the cheating problem is for the better.（不是很看得明白） The author should give the proportion of the cheating students. Otherwise perhaps the total number of the students declines, though the figure of cheating students has dropped, the problem may be more serious. （句子看得不是很顺畅。。。）Besides, there is no evidence to verify the trend of cheating has fallen during the 5 years. In fact, in fact of （似乎重复了一点）the limited evidence, it is fallacious to draw any conclusion at all.从整体比例来看问题，对数据挖掘觉得比较透
Even the trend of cheating has dropped, it is unfair to draw the conclusion that the situation of the cheating problem has really been improved（the trend drops 和the problem is improved好像是一个意思？其实作者要表达的是表观趋势的下降？是不是可以写清楚点？） For not to break the friendship with classmates, the majority of students are not to（如果是我，就用might not，比较有余地） notify even though they find someone is cheating. Besides, no one will say they are going to cheat in the exams when they are interviewed. Thus the data of the surveys are unreliable and it is ridiculous to draw any conclusion from them. Even assuming that the situation of cheating has been improved, it is nevertheless unfair to infer the adoption of the honor code is the only cause of it. The only reason for this causal relation is that the adoption of the honor code occurs before the improved situation. However there are other possible explanations for the improvement. For example, the students work harder than before and(or?) the examination is easier or even changed into open-book exam ,thus no one will cheat any more.

In sum, the recommendation that other colleges and universities should adopt the honor code is not well supported（不知道该用连字符不）. To convince me, the author should provide reasonable and detailed information about the surveys and rule out all the other possible causes that make the figure down. To better evaluate the recommendation. I need to  know whether to adopt the honor code is the best way to solve the cheating problem.似乎是可以再明确一点

我第一次改文章，水平有限，改的地方似乎对作者没什么帮助。。。有些地方还有可能是我阅读水平所致。
感觉第二点的阐述好像不太明确；还有就是读一遍下来，有些地方句意不是很明了的样子，让人有那么一点晕。
作者观点力度比我的强多了，尤其是数据的分析上

天天添添UID: 2599433

In this argument ,thearguer recommends that in order to combat the serious cheating problem amongcollege and university students the institutions should adopt an honor codesimilar to Groveton's(G's) which seems successful. To support the recommendation,the arguer provides a series of advantages of the honor code. At first glance,the argument might be somehow reasonable, but further consideration revealsthat it contains several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as itstands.

First and foremost. the author fails to considerpossible differences among Groveton students and the other students. （军校学生和其他学校学生不同，这个攻击点我觉得相当不错）For instance. G always has a strict examinationsystem while other college and university students never have .(我觉得这句话太武断。)Theymay only have to cooperator(cooperate?) with the partners to fulfill some projectsinstead. Under this situation. the adoption of the honor code will beunnecessary. (是不是说这种情况下没有honor code也不会作弊？不是很懂) Inaddition, according to the honor code.. the requirement that notify a faculty member ifsomeone suspect that others have cheated is vague. The word "suspect"is really difficult to define and during the examination the students arealways concentrate on their own papers, thus there is no time for them toidentify whether the others is cheating or not. From this perspective, thehonor code itself has faults.（这个攻击点也不错）

Secondly, samples for the survey should bestatistically reliable. Unfortunately, the evidence that the author provides isinsufficient to support the cheating problem is for the better. The authorshould give the proportion of the cheating students. Otherwise perhaps thetotal of the students declines, though the figure of cheating students hasdropped, the problem may be more serious. Besides, there is no evidence toverify the trend of cheating has fallen during the 5 years. In fact, in fact of thelimited evidence, it is fallacious（这个词都用上了好厉害^^） todraw any conclusion at all.（数据不够详细不足以支撑结论。但是我觉得比例这个问题没必要提，假设每一年级大学生人数差不多一样是合理的。绝对人数下降也意味着比例下降。）

Even the trend of cheating has dropped, it is unfairto draw the conclusion that the situation of the cheating problem has reallybeen improved. For not to break the friendship with classmates, the majority ofstudents are not to notify even though they find someone is cheating. Besides,no one will say they are going to cheat in the exams when they are interviewed.（这个问题老大似乎说过，美国学生还是比较诚信的。不知道用在这里恰当不）Thus the data of the surveys are unreliable andit is ridiculous to draw any conclusion from them. Even assuming that thesituation of cheating has been improved, it is nevertheless unfair to infer theadoption of the honor code is the only cause of it.
（这个有点死缠烂打的味道了，感觉用在这里不好）The only reason for this causal relation is thatthe adoption of the honor code occurs before the improved situation. Howeverthere are other possible explanations for the improvement. For example, thestudents work harder than before and the examination is easier or even changedinto open-book exam ,thus no one will cheat any more.

In sum, the recommendation that other colleges anduniversities should adopt the honor code is not well supported. （原文上用的是these,这里用other是否恰当？）Toconvince me, the author should provide reasonable and detailed informationabout the surveys and rule out all the other possible causes that make thefigure down. To better evaluate the recommendation. I need to l knowwhether to adopt the honor code is the best way to solve the cheating problem.



才给你看文章，实在不好意思。总体感觉非常不错，比我的不知好多少倍，看得自己惭愧啊。