【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】3.11号作业 by cmj

ddcmj519UID: 176326

偷懒没计时。。结果就一个高兴写超了字数。。。。


Both the reading and the lecture tell about the reasons of the culture decline in Easter Islands 500 years ago. While the reading suggests the invasion may be the cause, the lecture obviously lists logical process of the fall.

First of all, the reading points out that the trees and forests in Easter Islands disappeared just around 500 years ago, when invaders may rush in and take resources such as wood away, leaving an island of no canopy. What’s more, the stone statues which were made by the native were taken to a sudden end also by invaders.

However, the lecture gives the view of overexploiting conducted by the native. As 500 years ago, the native culture was so prosperous that time and energy was too enough for people that they started to make big statues as a symbol of status. In this way trees were cut down to logs to move those huge statues. In the fierce competition, all lost in the end, as there were no wood left to make living as for fishing. The lecture seems offer a complete story of the history will the reading only leave a reason with no further explanation.

What’s more, the lecture also doubts on the point of the “Birdman” religion. The reading believes the new was brought in by outsiders. In the contrary, the lecture argues that it is of great possibility that the old God was abandoned mainly because it only brought struggle to people, who latter believed a new God in the hope to get a better life.

In conclusion, the lecture that asserts the culture decline was due to the native shows a different opinion to the reading which focuses on the invaders.

ddcmj519UID: 176326

独立，这题目其实我挺不会写的。。。

Visiting museum is the best way to learn about a country.

With transportations have developed to a length, traveling is such a convenient way that almost everyone will come to the idea of it when there is vocation. However, holidays usually are not long enough for visitors to get the overall understanding of the country they travel to. By which means can tourists get to learn about a country with high efficiency? Some suggest museums while others disagree. And I stand behind the opposing side.

First of all, museums are almost about culture relics and history of a country. It goes without saying that the museum is the ideal place for young children to learn about history and culture. However, for a foreigner who wonders about the whole country, it is another matter. In the museums, history of the country is always the theme. That is to say, there is the ideal place to give oneself the history course with so many antiques, such as potteries and bronze swords, to create a realistic image of the ancient years. An image that tells about old stories may confuse visitors to understand what is going on in the country, now.

What’s more, in museums there are only valuable things exhibit rather than the spiritual treasure in mind. When we enter into a museum in our own country, we all feels a great of honor seep out and warm the whole body. Why? That is because there are such a great number of precious things. Thus, when tourists come to our homeland, they enter into the museum, taking glimpse of those treasures, and forming the idea of a country with concrete value. To truly learn a country, museums cannot do the best for the simple reason that they only offer chances to view rather than to experience. No denying, the understanding can get to the wrong way of imagination, just the same as we only read but not practice.

Overall, museums are such a place that offers for those who already know well about the background of the country, for the countless culture meanings behind those antiques, for the thick culture atmosphere they create, and for the silent myths only open heart for their descendents. For tourists who are wondering about the country, take them to the parks, to the streets, and to the ancient buildings, with a guide telling those stories. Surely, visitors will get a better known after all, as they also experience the country themselves.

roinyouUID: 2447501

对于综合写作，我觉得写得很具体和详细。不过觉得似乎有些太过具体，比如第一段，也出现500年前这样的信息，我觉得可以缩点内容，第二，三段细节也比较多。不过我也不清楚说细节多不符合ETS，应该详细还是鼓励的。
独立写作，已经过度到推理写作，估计最近在练习写G吧，不过这类似乎不是T提倡的。分析还是不错的，不过觉得既然是反对观点，怎么笔墨似乎多数还是在让步支持呢，觉得可能支持再有力一些，强烈些吧，ETS不care你观点深不深刻的，直接切入好了，不过分析和语言还是鼓励的，一路走来，看到你作文功底的提高，最后一次批你的作文，感觉十分亲切，祝你杀T成功了。

ddcmj519UID: 176326

3# roinyou
呵呵~确实在练G的写作呢。。结果就是写这种应该比较随意的文的时候情不自禁的逻辑下。。。推敲下这样说合不合理。所以写完以后觉得我独立里面一堆逻辑有问题的东西。。额。。。
谢谢老大修改啦~