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[活动] [TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组jackie1983第十二次作业] [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-14 18:26:53 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 lintelle 于 2009-3-14 18:52 编辑

Is daily homework assigned to students necessary? Different people will give various responses to this question according to their distinguished experiences and educational levels. Some people argue that homework shouldn't be assigned everyday otherwise the students will become too tired because they have to study both at school and after school. However, in my opinion, daily homework is quite necessary for the following two reasons.

One reason is that daily homework is of necessity for students to review what thay have learned in the daytime. As we know, reviewing what one has learned as soon as possible is one of the best methods of remembering deeply what one has imbued with. In fact, scientists have reported that most of the knowledge will be forgotten on the day we learned it, but if we can review what we learned later on that day, we will remember it better. Therefore, it’s not hard to see how necessary daily homework is for the reviewing of information one has studied.

Another reason is that leaving daily homework to students can make students form the habit of previewing what will be studied the next day, which is also necessary and beneficial for students' study because it's no doubt that knowing what will be taught in the next lesson will make students become more involved in the lesson rather than a passive receiver. After previewing a new lesson, students may get some questions to ask the teacher and they will be more absorbed and involved in the lesson, in order to find how the teacher explains the question. Thus, daily homework is also important for students to preview new contents.


Taking into account what has been discussed above, we can easily reach the conclusion that daily homework is quite necessary for students not only to review the old but also to preview the new. Only by this way, can the students do a well job in their study.
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发表于 2009-3-16 22:38:21 |只看该作者
Is daily homework assigned to students necessary? Different people will give various responses to this question according to their distinguished(individual) experiences and educational levels. Some people argue that homework shouldn't be assigned everyday otherwise the students will become too tired because they have to study both at school and after school(because of heavy acedamic burden). However, in my opinion, daily homework is quite necessary for the following two reasons.
One reason is that(To begin with,) daily homework is of necessity for students to review what thay have learned in the daytime. As we know, reviewing what one has learned as soon as possible is one of the best methods of remembering deeply what one has imbued with. In fact, scientists have reported that most of the knowledge will be forgotten on the day we learned it, but if we can review what we learned later on that day, we will remember it better (and deeper). (细节加事例 简洁有力!)Therefore, it’s not hard to see how necessary daily homework is for the reviewing of information one has studied.
Another reason is that leaving daily homework to students can make(help) students form the habit of previewing what will be studied the next day, which is also necessary and beneficial for students' study because it's no doubt that knowing what will be taught in the next lesson will make students become more involved in the lesson rather than a passive receiver. After previewing a new lesson, students may get some questions to ask the teacher and they will be more absorbed and involved in the lesson(这个删了吧,重复感蛮强烈的,但删去的话不会影响表达), in order to find(in the process of finding) how the teacher explains the question. Thus, daily homework is also important for students to preview new contents (Thus, daily homework plays an indispensable role in student's study of previewing new contents. 换个说法吧 按原文表达 感觉有点wordy)
Taking into account what has been discussed above, we can easily reach the conclusion that daily homework is quite necessary for students not only to review the old but also to preview the new. Only by this way, can the students do a well job in their study.

挺好!!!文章结构清晰,细节到位,论证充分,思路也比较恰当~~如果硬要挑点毛病的话 可能语言上还可以做的更好~~增加上维词的使用 还有就是避免同一个信息用同样的方法多次表达,虽然是经典框架的要求 可是会很容易让别人产生wordy的感觉,换种表达方式,感觉就很不一样了~~不过LZ有个特别棒的优点就是注意长短句的结合,长句信息量大,这样处理会让读者比较轻松~~

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发表于 2009-3-18 20:07:06 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 grace.TT 于 2009-3-18 20:18 编辑

1# jackie1983

Is daily homework assigned to students necessary? Different people will give various responses to this question according to their distinguished experiences and educational levels.(我理解这句lz是想表达“不同的阅历”。但distinguish加ed是“卓越的”意思) Some people argue that homework shouldn't be assigned everyday otherwise the students will become too tired because they have to study both at school and after school. However, in my opinion, daily homework is quite necessary for the following two reasons., y! W8 @2 L2 l) Z4 d
# G3 `7 i! _) q) C4 F0 C

One reason is that daily homework is of necessity(n.应该是可数,感觉应加冠词the/a) for students to review what thay(they) have learned in the daytime. As we know, reviewing what one has learned as soon as possible is one of the best methods of remembering deeply what one has imbued with. In fact, scientists have reported that most of the knowledge will be forgotten on the day we learned it, but if we can review what we learned later on that day, we will remember it better. Therefore, it’s not hard to see how necessary daily homework is for the reviewing of information one has studied.(我只知道可以是the review(n.) of information,不知道有没有review(v.) of 这种搭配)

Another reason is that leaving daily homework to students can make students form the habit of previewing what will be studied the next day, which is also necessary and beneficial for students' study because it's no doubt that knowing what will be taught in the next lesson will make students become more involved in the lesson rather than a passive receiver. After previewing a new lesson, students may get some questions to ask the teacher and they will be more absorbed and involved in (用一个就行)the lesson, in order to find how the teacher explains the question. Thus, daily homework is also important for students to preview new contents.

Taking into account what has been discussed above, we can easily reach the conclusion that daily homework is quite necessary for students not only to review the old but also to preview the new. Only by this way, can the students do a well job in their study.
总体来说逻辑严谨,论证清楚,句子衔接得比较好,练过gre文章的人就是不一样啊嘿嘿。但过分注重严谨就容易走向另一个极端,就是句子显得有些死板。重复的论点可以换一种方式去表达。结尾可以写得再出彩一些。从文采角度,如果把你写得这篇换成中文文章,给我的感觉就是表述平平,缺乏新意,让人有昏昏欲睡之感,不信你自己想象一下。已经达到托福写作的标准了,就是对自己要求应该再高一点。:)
ps.word文档怎么纠错阿?

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RE: [TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组jackie1983第十二次作业] [修改]

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