Issue143 by comorain

comorainUID: 192455

请多指点。

Issue143. Artists shouldpay little attention to their critics.* Criticism tends to undermine and constrainthe artist's creativity.

Whenever people talk about arts and artists, they always focus on these great names: Mozart, Beethoven, Leonardo Da Vinci etc; rarely do the criticisms about those honorable artists come to people’s minds as though they had never existed at all. To many people who are interested in arts, those criticisms seem so unremarkable that they think serious artists should never be swayed by them and should devote all their attention and energy to pursuing the aesthetic inspirations sparkled in their deep hearts. Although criticisms seem to contribute little to, if not hinder, the birth of great artworks, they are of much importance to artists.

Admittedly, unlike their objects, art criticisms are considered to be much less creative and can hardly generate vivid impressions and provoke the emotion of art-lovers, which leads to their relatively short life compared to many masterpieces with everlasting values. In many people’s eyes, the art critic is a kind of captious creatures who love to shout their disapproval and contempt at nearly all artworks in order to construct their fame as dignified connoisseurs. Sometimes they are so eager to capture more attention that their comments are gaudy and ridiculous even to common people with basic art tastes, not mentioning artists. Besides that, people in modern society where individualism prevails incline to heroize those who dare to express and behave themselves according to their true feelings despite other people’s opinions, and they believe any forms of compromising with critics will do harm to artists’ creativity, so it is easy to understand the attitudes towards criticisms expressed in the title above.

However, not all novel ideas can create prominent artworks and art criticisms do contribute to keeping the artists’ whims on track and constructing proper aesthetic tastes in the public. Any forms of serious arts, whether paints or music, are the combination of diligent work and inspiration, and any people who dreams to become a successful artist must take a long, sometimes painful, journey of strict and specific trainings. But there are some inferior artists, who take advantage of the common people’s ignorance to the specific knowledge of arts and overemphasize the role of so-called “artistic inspiration”, to claim that only their products can be considered as artworks. Several years ago, a young Chinese man daubed his whole body with honey and sit still in a dirty public toilet, and it was in a hot summer so his body was soon bestrewed by flies. It really shocked me when I heard such a disgusting scene is ranked as “behavior art”. In fact, our society are awash of shoddy artworks, so we need some real specialists to criticize and constrain those absurd new ideas and teach people how to distinguish good artworks from rubbish.

Furthermore, even when artists think some of their criticisms are ridiculous or total nonsense, they know better than to ignore them completely considering the potential consequences. Nowadays, mass media are so powerful that they continually present more and more opinions of art critics in front of common people, which definitely influences enormously their preferences to artworks and in turn the popularity of an artist’s works. Therefore, if an artist does not want to lead a life like van Gogh, who lived and died in extremely poor conditions though he was considered as one of the most prodigious/eminent artists in history after his death, he or she has to consider the flavor of critics and modify his or her appropriately works. Only those who need not worry about their bread can pay less attention to the criticisms, but even to them, critics are also relevant. After all, who will refuse to be more popular?  

All in all, in most cases artists should pay necessary attention to their critics because they have enough power to influence the potential popularity of artworks. In addition, although some people blame the negative impacts of the criticisms on artists’ creativity, sometimes those impacts are beneficial to the society.

thisismjUID: 2433038

Issue143. Artists shouldpay little attention to their critics.* Criticism tends to undermine and constrainthe artist's creativity.




Whenever people talk about arts and artists, they always focus on these great names: Mozart, Beethoven, Leonardo Da Vinci etc; rarely do the criticisms about those honorable artists come to people’s minds as though they had never existed at all. To many people who are interested in arts, those criticisms seem so unremarkable that they think serious artists should never be swayed by them and should devote all their attention and energy to pursuing the aesthetic inspirations sparkled in their deep hearts. Although criticisms seem to contribute little to, if not hinder, the birth of great artworks, they are of much importance to artists.

Admittedly, unlike their objects, art criticisms are considered to be much less creative and can hardly generate vivid impressions and provoke the emotion of art-lovers, which leads to their relatively short life compared to many masterpieces with everlasting values. In many people’s eyes, the art critic is a kind of captious creatures who love to shout their disapproval and contempt at nearly all artworks in order to construct their fame as dignified connoisseurs. Sometimes they are so eager to capture more attention that their comments are gaudy and ridiculous even to common people with basic art tastes, not mentioning artists. Besides that, people in modern society where individualism prevails incline to heroize those who dare to express and behave themselves according to their true feelings despite other people’s opinions, and they believe any forms of compromising with critics will do harm to artists’ creativity, so it is easy to understand the attitudes towards criticisms expressed in the title above.
这段是让步段落，先说明评论的局限性。
However, not all novel ideas can create prominent artworks and art criticisms do contribute to keeping the artists’ whims on track and constructing proper aesthetic tastes in the public. Any forms of serious arts, whether paints or music, are the combination of diligent work and inspiration, and any people who dreams to become a successful artist must take a long, sometimes painful, journey of strict and specific trainings. But there are some inferior artists, who take advantage of the common people’s ignorance to the specific knowledge of arts and overemphasize the role of so-called “artistic inspiration”, to claim that only their products can be considered as artworks. Several years ago, a young Chinese man daubed his whole body with honey and sit still in a dirty public toilet, and it was in a hot summer so his body was soon bestrewed by flies. It really shocked me when I heard such a disgusting scene is ranked as “behavior art”. In fact, our society are awash of shoddy artworks, so we need some real specialists to criticize and constrain those absurd new ideas and teach people how to distinguish good artworks from rubbish.
此段在论证上没有提到critics的作用，只是阐明了艺术家有好有坏，然后举了个例子说坏的让你恶心了。而critics的作用没讲，应该加上“Because of the restrain from critics, those so-called artists can not be popular in public.”

Furthermore, even when artists think some of their criticisms are ridiculous or total nonsense, they know better than to ignore them completely considering the potential consequences. Nowadays, mass media are so powerful that they continually present more and more opinions of art critics in front of common people, which definitely influences enormously their preferences to artworks and in turn the popularity of an artist’s works. Therefore, if an artist does not want to lead a life like van Gogh, who lived and died in extremely poor conditions though he was considered as one of the most prodigious/eminent artists in history after his death, he or she has to consider the flavor of critics and modify his or her appropriately works. Only those who need not worry about their bread can pay less attention to the criticisms, but even to them, critics are also relevant. After all, who will refuse to be more popular?  
这段说现在艺术家免不了受评论的影响，否则将会是梵高的下场。然后中心立场是什么却没有明确表明。建议加上一句中心句。
All in all, in most cases artists should pay necessary attention to their critics because they have enough power to influence the potential popularity of artworks. In addition, although some people blame the negative impacts of the criticisms on artists’ creativity, sometimes（建议把sometimes去掉） those impacts are beneficial to the society.



整体很不错，语言我就不说了，这个语言甚至有点”高深”，呵呵~

有几处缺点大概就是没有很明确的立场，或者你追求的自由文，但是你的体系就够却是十足的很学术。

有点个人意见，自行取舍啦：
我觉得如果能把意思表达清楚没有必要都用GRE词汇。而且看你的文章有点拗口，可能是自己的词汇量太少吧，其实你要表达的意思很简单，行程却有点复杂了。呵呵，只是我的个人意见~

comorainUID: 192455

2# thisismj

谢谢兄弟，你的评论很到位。我觉得没什么话说，只好瞎凑数了。