[TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 hjhj1110第十五次作业]

hjhj1110UID: 2553667

第十五次作业& V9 ]) q0 L5 V: C  o% [
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In today’s world, to speak well is more important than to write well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.(07.1.26) 周三22：00 前交上来

It is hard to get consensus concerning this issue among people since speaking and writing are pretty much the same important. But when it comes to today’s world, I am convinced that writing is a little outweighed by speaking. Albeit a book or a letter can express the author’deep thoughts, an oration or a conversation can show the speaker’personality and expressions, which is difficult to exhibition on papers.

第一点   说话是日常生活中每个人必须做的事情，不能说话会给生活带来很多麻烦
Initially, speaking to people’s daily life is what water to fish. Only by posturing and writing can people communicate without talking to each other, nevertheless both of the two are not such convenient as speaking. Assume that all human beings are familiar with sign language, but they can hardly gesture when their hands are occupied with bags. When driving, cooking, or typing, we are not able to use our hands for doing hand language. The other approach, writing, is somehow restricted by time and place. And daily life’s intercommunication overlooks the dainty of language, so that an organized letter looks some over-ceremonious in this case.

第二点  口才好的人能帮助别人脱离精神上的困境
Further, an eloquent person can rescue others from psychological puzzledom. They can appease an agitated criminal’s anger. To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is persuasive. An emcee of broadcasting station in my hometown Changsha, who was in his middle age, had a trenchant speechcraft as well as an alluring voice. At a midnight a murderer called in and asked him for help, the emcee reacted with equanimity. He kept confabulating with the murderer, persuaded him to surrender, and let the director call police to apprehend him at the same time, which never can be accomplished by an inarticulate person.

第三点  在今天这个社会，一个口才好的人可以得到好人缘，领导也会重用

Another equally vital factor lies in the fact that a conversable employee may get more chance to promote. Nowadays intercoursing become an abstruse knowledge within occupation field. As far as we are concerned, a severe tendency of competition in companies runs the relationship among personnels to an abnormal model. In this case a white-collar who knows how to aptly break silence in the office with no embarrassment, earns nice relations with colleagues. Moreover, a kind popularity possibly makes boss recognise the ability to become an adept business manager.

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

It is hard to get consensus concerning (in)this issue among people since speaking and writing are pretty much the same important. But when it comes to today’s world, I am convinced that writing is a little outweighed by speaking. (这句好像讲反了吧，你的主论点不是speaking更重要吗）Albeit a book or a letter can express the author’deep thoughts, an oration or a conversation can show the speaker’personality and expressions, which is difficult to exhibition on papers.（这句表达不清楚，感觉语法上不太对，而且没有逻辑连接词） 2 v" ^9 y2 e& p) U' |+ g9 f  Z8 p7 P
6 j+ l+ e9 x. Z
第一点   说话是日常生活中每个人必须做的事情，不能说话会给生活带来很多麻烦
Initially, speaking to people’s daily life is what water to fish. （这句比喻用的好）Only by posturing and writing can people communicate without talking to each other,（这句是什么意思？没有看懂） nevertheless both of the two are not such convenient as speaking. Assume that all human beings are familiar with sign language, but they can hardly gesture when their hands are occupied with bags. When driving, cooking, or typing, we are not able to use our hands for doing hand language. The other approach, writing, is somehow restricted by time and place. And daily life’s intercommunication overlooks the dainty of language, so that an organized letter looks some over-ceremonious in this case（总体感觉你的表达有点中式英语，不太地道）.8 H2 p8 L8 C- H6 l

第二点  口才好的人能帮助别人脱离精神上的困境% L/ s/ x+ Y: P. q: I3 ]$ E
Further, an eloquent person can rescue others from psychological puzzledom. They can appease an agitated criminal’s anger. To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is persuasive. An emcee of broadcasting station in my hometown Changsha, who was in his middle age, had a trenchant speechcraft as well as an alluring voice. At a midnight a murderer called in and asked him for help, the emcee reacted with equanimity. He kept confabulating with the murderer, persuaded him to surrender, and let the director call police to apprehend him at the same time, which never can be accomplished by an inarticulate person. （感觉你的词汇量挺大的，这段的例子很有说服力）

第三点  在今天这个社会，一个口才好的人可以得到好人缘，领导也会重用
equally vital factor lies in the fact that a conversable employee may get more chance to promote. Nowadays intercoursing（？ 这个单词什么意思）become an abstruse knowledge within occupation field. As far as we are concerned, a severe tendency of competition in companies runs the relzhegeationship（？） among personnels to an abnormal model. （这句好像比较中式英语）In this case a white-collar who knows how to aptly break silence in the office with no embarrassment, earns nice relations with colleagues. Moreover, a kind popularity possibly makes boss recognise the ability to become an adept business manager每段的开头句很好，但是后面的论证句逻辑不是很清楚，然后感觉你的句型运用比较生涩，而且中式英语很多（也是我作文的问题），所以，一起提高吧. -
每段 L)

总评

hjhj1110UID: 2553667

2# 网兜妮妮
第一句没错哦~ 看仔细哦
第二句Albeit就是连词，不过我也不确定能不能这么用~ 哈哈，刚背的词就拿来用用，熟悉一下。。。。
中式英语这一点我以后会注意的~ 呵呵，谢谢哦，我都没有注意到

桑梓UID: 2613051

It is hard to get consensus concerning this issue （这里是不是需要把题目重复一下~）among people since speaking and writing are pretty much the same important. But when it comes to today’s world, I am convinced that writing is a little outweighed by speaking. Albeit a book or a letter can express the author’deep thoughts, an oration or a conversation can show the speaker’personality and expressions, which is difficult to exhibition on papers.

第一点   说话是日常生活中每个人必须做的事情，不能说话会给生活带来很多麻烦
Initially, speaking to people’s daily life is what water to fish. Only by posturing and writing can people communicate without talking（有些重复了 前面有了only 后面又有without） to each other, nevertheless both of the two are not such convenient as speaking. Assume that all human beings are familiar with sign language, but they can hardly gesture when their hands are occupied with bags. When driving, cooking, or typing, we are not able to use our hands for doing hand language. The other approach, writing, is somehow restricted by time and place. And daily life’s intercommunication overlooks the dainty of language, so that an organized letter looks some over-ceremonious in this case.

第二点  口才好的人能帮助别人脱离精神上的困境!
Further, an eloquent person can rescue others from psychological puzzledom. They can appease an agitated criminal’s anger. To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is persuasive. An emcee of （用from是不是好点？）broadcasting station in my hometown Changsha, who was in his middle age, had a trenchant speechcraft as well as an alluring voice. At a midnight a murderer called in and asked him for help, the emcee reacted with equanimity. He kept confabulating with the murderer, persuaded him to surrender, and let the director call police to apprehend him at the same time, which never can be accomplished by an inarticulate person. （这段的词汇好强悍啊 拿着文曲星一路查下来……PS题外话 LZ是长沙人啊 我清明准备去湖南玩呢~~~纯粹的题外话……:L）
第三点  在今天这个社会，一个口才好的人可以得到好人缘，领导也会重用
Another equally vital factor lies in the fact that a conversable employee may get more chance to promote. Nowadays intercoursing become an abstruse knowledge within occupation field. As far as we are concerned, a severe tendency of competition in companies runs the relationship among personnels to an abnormal model. In this case a white-collar who knows how to aptly break silence in the office with no embarrassment, earns nice relations with colleagues. Moreover, a kind popularity possibly makes boss recognise the ability to become an adept business manager.
结束得好突兀啊 ……