Issue130 by irvine666

irvine666UID: 2575525

貌似这个是超高频...

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 650          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-3-31 上午 12:54:23

Some acclaiming it as the guarantee of self-actualization and social prosperity, while others regarded it as the origin of individual moral flaws and insufficient preoccupation, no phenomenon in the realm of education has received more controversial commentaries than socialization. Actually, the essential issue might not be whether socialization could benefit our children or not, but how could parents and teachers establish a system of education to correctly and accurately socialize students. Socialization, as is demonstrated below, should be reckoned as one factor to trigger social development.

As is self-evident, the scarcity of socialization will result in idealism. Being educated in campus, children could hardly understand and realize the tough world outside, a world full of competition, life pressure, and human communication. Students might be inculcated with cardinal virtues of honesty, altruism and patriotism, and naively think that if they secure the knowledge taught by teachers and professors, and if they endeavor their best to strive for any available phlegmatic score of A, as soon as they graduated, they could easily put their knowledge and experience into practice and then earn satisfactory wealth, general respect, a noble position, and ultimately, the satiation of his mind and soul. That expectation sounds good; however, the sad truth is that where there is no experience of society, there is no self-actualization, for the society, as a whole, is a group not only requiring academic information, but also thirsting for human touch and practical experience. So, the socialization of children should be regarded as one measure to inform and educate them to prepare for their future career lives.

So, the most optimistic and positive view of socialization might be its natural promoting of students’ self-actualization. Because the function of education is not merely to nurture mainstream ethos of a particular community, but also to fulfill the students’ pursuit of better future lives, teachers and parents should never neglect the will and ability of children to seek for communication with others. As the society developed and become more and more complex, it appears to most students that hardly could they actualize their ideals only relying on academic knowledge and personal effort. Fortunately, teachers and educational experts have realized this disadvantage in modern education. Nowadays, even in primary schools, children are encouraged to talk with others, to try to accept others' opposite opinions, to question these opinions or to express their interests, and finally to enhance the friendship with their classmates. They are meanwhile enabled, by the ability of observing and analyzing, to decide who should be chosen to be their best friends. Therefore, teenagers could construct an initial system of interpersonal relationship through their own faculty and flair. These actions, generally speaking, could be all classified into children's socialization, which we should be encouraged, rather than inhibitted.

However, socialization might not be the only factor that determines the destiny of society. Morality, knowledge, and one's aptitude play more important roles in one's contribution to social development. Among them, morality should be considered as the essential factor. One who with high intelligence and low morality could bring far more serious destruction to society than others, as is illustrated by Hitler, the sovereign of Nazi Germany. Being influenced by mistaken racism, the leader of German in the 1930s overriding the spontaneous constitution of society, deified Teuton as the superior race, and simultaneously sentenced the Jews to death. As a result, the world, as a whole, fell into a tremendous upheaval. To be realistic, every attempt to overemphasize intelligence, socialization, rather than morality, and to overlook the mental and ethical growth of student, is proven to be a fatal error.

As is mentioned above, I agree with the former statement that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society; nonetheless, while concerning premature socialization might lead to detrimental moral characters such as avarice, dishonesty, and selfishness, I have to supplement the latter statement that we have to put the education of morality as top priority.

StefanaUID: 2143510

拜读了.

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

不要老说4分，你发指啊，要遭天谴的！第一句话就有我不认识的单词self-actulization。。。。。。
总之思路上也不批驳你了，反正你是super stubborn
我想了想，文如其人，激烈的立场反映你的生活态度，可能心态比我年轻吧，不judge了，况且即使judge了也没用。
不过我要声明一点，平衡观点不等同于中庸，鄙视某些混淆概念的人
后面几天保持状态，考试嘛，完全没问题，几乎所有人都看好你了

corpuscleUID: 2503411

第一段：开头的it指代什么？the essential issue might not be whether socialization could benefit our children or not, but how could parents and teachers establish a system of education to correctly and accurately socialize students这个逻辑有些问题吧？难道社会化是一个有害的教育？不知道社会化是否对孩子有利，那为什么要对孩子进行社会化？难道牺牲孩子利益去实现社会进步？
第二段：社会化是否包括道德教育？honesty, altruism and patriotism不属于社会化的范畴吗？教育的宗旨仅仅是传授知识吗？
第四段：Morality,  one's aptitude不属于社会化范畴吗？希特勒那个例子正说明社会化的重要性。

最大的问题在于没把社会化的概念弄清楚，你可以有新观点，但你的新观点需要建立在公认的概念上。
看看你的中心思想和分论点：Actually, the essential issue might not be whether socialization could benefit our children or not, but how could parents and teachers establish a system of education to correctly and accurately socialize students. Socialization, as is demonstrated below, should be reckoned as one factor to trigger social development.

第二段、第三段都是在证明社会化的重要性，包括对孩子的意义，是否跟你这句冲突了呢？the essential issue might not be whether socialization could benefit our children or not
第二句：but how could parents and teachers establish a system of education to correctly and accurately socialize students，这句话在哪里得到论证？

这是我的第一篇，当时写了三天，改了三次，有很多问题，但我觉得我的脉络写的还是值得借鉴的。社会化包括四个内容：imparting living skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection。
我从定义入手，介绍社会化的重要性和必要性，再用四个内容贯穿文章始终，分别写学校家庭对这四个方面采取哪些措施，这四个方面又分别对社会做出了什么贡献

拍文章比较重是我一贯的风格，加油~~！:lol

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

第一段：开头的it指代什么？the essential issue might not be whether socialization could benefit our children or not, but how could parents and teachers establish a system of education to correctly and  ...
corpuscle 发表于 2009-3-31 18:38

cc，我已经发现了，66super stubborn，指出他没想到的地方他还会接受，指出他想过并打定主意要不同寻常的地方要改就比较困难。66上次还说定义限制死思路，他是反对定义的死硬派。。。。。。你批的第一句明显是他老人家呕心沥血整出来的，故意把socialization放在后面甩出来。。。拿他没辙
“the essential issue might not be whether socialization could benefit our children or not, but how could parents and teachers establish a system of education to correctly and accurately socialize students这个逻辑有些问题吧？难道社会化是一个有害的教育？不知道社会化是否对孩子有利，那为什么要对孩子进行社会化？难道牺牲孩子利益去实现社会进步？”这个其实也是66的一个bt stubborn论调，就说一定要集中火力说明一个问题。。。所以他就弃前半部分题目于不顾了。我是反对这种把题目的不同部分孤立起来的观点，至少要诱导地提一提，让文章表达全面但有偏重，不过我使劲说他都不听。。。没办法

66，我只能建议你也要注意一下不要太偏离常理，有些必要的定义还是要看一看，毕竟socialization是什么不是由你定义。况且定义并不见得非要查mw，还有其他很多有弹性的方法获得全面多样化的定义，北大姐姐推荐我查的ask.com，你可以一看，有各领域对socialization的定义

文章嘛，还没仔细看，没状态，过会再看

雪山飞胡UID: 2290139

哎，望尘莫及

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

仔细看了看，感觉不好，刚改了篇板油的130，觉得还比这篇好。至少逻辑清晰。
我早就说过非要写题目的一点是不可能的，因为作为一个完整的题目，内容都是有潜在的逻辑联系的。

helenjiUID: 2603217

7# sakuraanne

这里是版主在开会吗？
我觉得666是个很有思想也很有个性的人。看过一些你的贴子，觉得你很善於思考，逻辑也好，毕竟是专业赋于你的特长。作为版主你达到了激发大家积极思想的目的。

但是我也感觉，你这样写的危险系数比较大。如果碰到伯乐，很幸运。如果碰到一个思想比较禁固，比较喜欢用条条框框框文章的rater，那可能就很危险。毕竟他只有两分钟来看你的文章。当年使徒版主的分析+解决办法的尝试，最后以失败告终。我很同意sakuraanne 的说法，题目的内部是有逻辑关系的，光谈他的一个方面，忽略另一个方面不好。



However, socialization might not be the only factor that determines the destiny of society. Morality, knowledge, and one's aptitude play more important roles in one's contribution to social development. Among them, morality should be considered as the essential factor. One who with high intelligence and low morality could bring far more serious destruction to society than others, as is illustrated by Hitler, the sovereign of Nazi Germany. Being influenced by mistaken racism, the leader of German in the 1930s overriding the spontaneous constitution of society, deified Teuton as the superior race, and simultaneously sentenced the Jews to death. As a result, the world, as a whole, fell into a tremendous upheaval. To be realistic, every attempt to overemphasize intelligence, socialization, rather than morality, and to overlook the mental and ethical growth of student, is proven to be a fatal error. 这一段，我理解morality是社会化的一部分，社会化的一个要求就是要有良好的道德标准，也就是说社会化包含morality。

As is mentioned above, I agree with the former statement that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society; nonetheless, while concerning premature socialization might lead to detrimental moral characters such as avarice, dishonesty, and selfishness, I have to supplement the latter statement that we have to put the education of morality as top priority. 结尾应是对全文的总结归纳。while concerning premature socialization might lead to detrimental moral characters such as avarice, dishonesty, and selfishness我感觉是新的概念，在你文章中没有论述到。

定义is a very important part of Critical Thinking. Please refer to:
Critical Thinking: What It Is and Why It Counts
http://www.insightassessment.com/pdf_files/what&why2006.pdf

其他的问题corpuscle(小小鸟)已经都提到了，我就不再罗嗦了。“社会化包括四个内容：imparting living skill, instructing social norm, directing life's aim, and providing role's selection。
我从定义入手，介绍社会化的重要性和必要性，再用四个内容贯穿文章始终，分别写学校家庭对这四个方面采取哪些措施，这四个方面又分别对社会做出了什么贡献” 这和我的思路和结够很相似，只不过我没有把社会化剖析的那么深刻。

666现在优势是individuality，但是否也应该听取一下大家的建议兼顾一下conformity? 大家的意见还是要听一下的。毕竟大家都是为你好，看着你为寄托做了那么多贡献，当然希望你能考个好成绩。最后祝你考试成功。

这个是我写的这一篇，希望楼上的各位斑竹帮我看看。https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=935673&extra

zzz.321UID: 2600329

拜读先～～

三叶槿UID: 2568740

感谢分享～