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[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 chelseajcole 第18次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-4-4 21:09:25 |显示全部楼层
Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies
are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you
prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer


Which part occupy most time when we watch the entertainment news?Movia;Which kinds of magazine always sell better than other type of magezine?Movia;Which kinds of DVD always at the top of DVD store list?Movia.Movia is an entertainment for almost people around world.Since the function of movia—at least to me—is to entertain us,I perfer the amusing movia than the serious one.

When we exhausted from the work or after study,watching movia is a way to relax.Eating the delicious dinner ,taking a shower and then sitting on the sofa and there was a big screen before you,you play a DVD whatever you buy or borrow from your colleage,it is the perfect way to releave the stress,especiall is the movia amuse you.You laugh during the movia and forget the frustright thing around you tanperoly.After the movia,you refresh youself and get more energy and therefore do the job or homework more effeciently.If the movia make you thinking,you don’t have mood to work but on thinking,is that the real aim for you to watch movia?The funny movie obviously easier for people to relieve from stress.

Addition to the function of movia,the films are designed primarily to amusr or entertain are suit for all age.People watch the funny movia can learn a planty of funny sayings or postures from the movia.Students can talk with their classmates during the rest time so that the enviroment of class would be full of relax.Adults can utlitlze those resoures when they had an interview which amuse your emplorer and increase the chance to be employeed for your boss regard you as a funny gay may adjust the relationship among the colleages.Old people also can say funny stories from movia to entertain each other during the leasure time.On the other hand,the movia let us thinking may not suit as wild as the comedy cause only part of people can understand what the director want to express to the public.

Finally,funny plot or saying in the movia doesn’t mean it can not be thinging.However,the moet excellent movia always make people thinking after the laughing.For example,the flim acted on last month called”No willing do not call”which directed by Feng xiaogang,one of the most famous movia director in China,told us what the real love is through a seriou of funny stories occurred by the actors.The wonderful plot and humar talking make me laugh all the movia,but,after I watched,I asked myself the same question the movia want to demonstrate:what is the true love in modern society. The movia let us thinking thorough laughing is a better way for us to learn something.

Some people love serious movia also got their reasons to support their choice.But,I like the movia designed to amuse for they let me feel the relax and suit all my family.Besides,they also make me thinking sometimes.Combine the laugh and thought,that is what a perfect movia defination.

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发表于 2009-4-6 22:12:26 |显示全部楼层
Which part occupy(occupies) most time when we watch the entertainment news?Movia;Which kinds(what kind?) of magazine always sell better than other type of magezine?Movia;Which kinds of DVD(be) always at the top of DVD store list?Movia.Movia is an entertainment for almost(most) people around(the) world.Since the function of movia—at least to me—is to entertain us,I perfer the amusing movia than the serious one.

When we exhausted(get exhausted) from the work or after study,watching movia is a way to relax.Eating the delicious dinner ,taking a shower and then sitting on the sofa and there was(is) a big screen before(in front of) you,you play a DVD whatever(去掉whatever) you buy or borrow from your colleage,it is the perfect way to releave the stress,especiall is the movia amuse you.(这里的结构太乱了...可以分开成若干句...perfect way应该指watching movie但前面却没有出现...用it就会指代不明...especially接在stress后面就应该是修饰stress的了...)You laugh during the movia and forget the frustright thing(frustration?) around you tanperoly(temporarily?).After the movia,you refresh youself and get more energy and(不要用这么多and...前面可以用逗号隔开的...) therefore do the job or homework more effeciently.If the movia make you thinking(think),you don’t have mood to work but on thinking(这里也太chinglish了吧...句子结构也有问题...),is that the real aim for you to watch movia?The funny movie (is)obviously easier for people to relieve from(去掉from) stress.

Addition to the function of movia,the films(which) are designed primarily to amusr or entertain are suit(suitable) for all age.People watch the funny movia can learn a(不要a) planty(plenty) of funny sayings or postures(这两个都可数吗) from the movia.Students can talk with their classmates during the rest(leisure) time so that the enviroment of class would be full of relax(relaxation).Adults can utlitlze(utilize) those resoures when they had an interview which amuse your emplorer(?) and increase the chance to be employeed for your boss regard you as a funny gay(阅卷的是不是要疯了...) may adjust the relationship(难道大家都是gay?...用improve relationship吧) among the colleages(colleeagues).Old people also can say funny stories from movia to entertain each other during the leasure(leisure) time.On the other hand,the movia let us thinking(think) may not suit as wild as the comedy cause(because...’cause是口语词...不要用...) only part of people can understand what the director want to express to the public.

请你原谅我...我看不下去了...
LZ的基本功不够扎实啊...要加强基本的东西...暂时不要玩比较花哨的句子了...更容易显出自己的弱点...你的长句子几乎结构都有问题...
有些词希望LZ自己能认真写...让阅卷人来猜你的意思是在太累了...
文章段落结构...有些合理的推理就可以了...不用像记流水账一样...
另外...不用写这么多...因为你考试的时候是绝对写不了这么多的...
ps...是movie不是movia...
god's in his heaven
all's right with the world

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备考先锋

发表于 2009-4-8 12:28:32 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 liurui8802 于 2009-4-8 12:32 编辑

Which part occupy most time when we watch the entertainment news?Movia;Which kinds(kind) of magazine always sell+s better than other type+s后面的去掉 of magezine?Movia;Which kinds(kind) of DVD always at the top of DVD store list?缺宾语Movia.Movia is an entertainment for almost(most) people around world.Since the function of movia—at least to me—is to entertain us,I perfer the amusing movia than the serious one.When we (are)exhausted from the work or after study,watching movia is a way to relax.Eating the delicious dinner ,taking a shower and then sitting on(in) the sofa and(and连接并列两部分,你前面是从句形式,后面又是主句?) there was过去时? a big screen before you,you play a DVD whatever这个词用的不对 you buy or borrow from your colleage,it is the perfect way to releave(release) the stress,especiall is(when) the movia amuse+s you.You laugh during the movia and forget the frustright?? thing around you tanperoly??.After the movia,you refresh youself and get more energy and therefore do the job or homework more effeciently.If the movia make you thinking(make sb thinking??),you don’t have mood to work but on thinking,is一个句子两个谓语而且没有连接词 that the real aim for you to watch movia?这句话全错The funny movie obviously 谓语呢?easier for people to relieve from stress.
这段话错误太多了,句子直接缺乏基本的过度和连接,只有大量简单动词。
(in)Addition to the function of movia,the films are designed primarily to amusr? or entertain are suit for all age.People watch the funny movia can learn a planty? of funny sayings or postures from the movia.Students can talk with their classmates during the rest time so that the enviroment of class would时态! be full of relax.Adults can utlitlze those resoures when they had 时态an interview which amuse your指代错误 emplorer? and increase the chance to be employeed(去掉一个e) for your boss regard you as a funny gay(??) may adjust the relationship among the colleages.Old people also can say funny stories from movia to entertain each other during the leasure time.On the other hand,the movia let us thinking(let sb doing???)两个动词在一起没有连接词!may not suit as wild??什么意思 as the comedy cause only part of people can understand what the director want to express to the public.这一段更混乱,语法错误不说,时态、拼写、指代错误随处可见。作者写完应用拼写检查检查一下吧
Finally,funny plot or saying in the movia doesn’t mean it can not be thinging??.However,the moet?? excellent movia always make people thinking after the laughing.For example,the flim (acted)删掉 on last month called”No willing do not call”which be动词!directed by Feng xiaogang,one of the most famous movia director in China,told us what the real love is through a seriou of funny stories occurred by the actors.这句话太长了,谓语混乱,改写The wonderful plot and humar换个形容词 talking make me laugh all the movia(time),but,after I watched,I asked myself the same question the movia want to demonstrate:what is the true love in modern society. The movia let us thinking跟上面同样的错误 thorough laughing is a better way for us to learn something.Some people love serious movia also got their reasons to support their choice时态.But,I like the movia designed to amuse for they let me feel the relax+ed and suit all my family(members).Besides,they also make me thinking老问题 sometimes.Combine the laugh and thought,that is what a perfect movia+‘s defination.

感觉这篇还不如原来写的。拼写错误时态错误到处都是。语法我强调过make/let sb do sth到现在还在犯。
另外,句式和词汇过于简单,但是鉴于楼主基本功的不扎实,我不推荐你去仿写那些复杂句子,但是基本的连接词总该会用吧。比如although, despite,However, but 之类的,可惜是作者连这些词都没有用到位或者用错。
我虽然很欣赏楼主敢写敢干的勇气,但是知道自己不足而不去弥补的人,恐怕只能止步不前。
楼主还是先看看基本语法吧。语法虽然不考,但是是英语学好的必经阶段。
托福 双学位 实习 专业课 I can survive and thrive!

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RE: 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 chelseajcole 第18次作业】 [修改]

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