][TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 风辰的眼泪 第十九次作业]

风辰的眼泪UID: 2618183

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher try to help students to gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer(03/10/07).



Education, as one essential step of people’s lives which significantly infers people’s future, is often referred as one integral component of today’s society. However, it is largely proposed that the correct education is that teacher should teach student specific knowledge other than help them to gain self-confidence. Indeed, students deserve to gain self-confidence from teacher’s help currently.
Self-confidence surely help students to learn more conveniently and quickly. People always take that students should only learn scientific knowledge for granted, but neglect the importance of self-confidence. In reality, students who are confident usually learn knowledge more easily than those who are less confident. In that, confident students trust themselves that they can learn everything well and then undertake immediately while others doubt their ability and take long time to considerate how to complete the assignment in right way. Thus, the confident students accomplish task more quickly and they can take the corresponding spare time to do a flexible arrangement. As a consequence, teacher should help every student to gain self-confidence.

Moreover, self-confidence certainly contributes to increase communication and inspire innovation. As a truth, there are potential innovation factors in both confident and unconfident people’s bodies. However, only confident people’s talent of innovating is stimulated. It is owing to that confident people regard themselves as superior people and they can do everything better than others. On the contrast, people who are unconfident don’t believe they can do things well, so their real ability of innovation is constrained. Thereby, people incorrectly regard the confident people as the more intelligent individuals.

Despite the fact that self-confidence does provide tons of benefits, it surely leads to some negative impacts. Underiably, the strength of self-confidence is overwhelming greater than the corresponding weakness. Under this phenomenon, why not pay more attention on the above statement? In terms of previous experience, it is certainly more important for a teacher to help student to gain self-confidence other than specific knowledge.
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gaofei323UID: 2588256

Education, as one essential step of people’s lives which significantly infers people’s（their） future, is often referred as (不知道有没有 refer as 改regarded as吧 ) one integral component of today’s society. However（这里有转折？）, it is largely proposed that the correct way for education is that teacher should teach students specific knowledge other than help them to gain self-confidence. Indeed（这里才转折吧）, students deserve to gain self-confidence from teacher’s help currently. (这个总论点应该落在自信比知识更有用吧)@" w  H+ m

(加个连接的 To begin with,)Self-confidence surely help students to learn more conveniently and quickly. People always take that students should only learn scientific knowledge for granted(感觉take it for granted that …好些 尾重原则么), but neglect the importance of self-confidence. In reality, students who are confident（the confident students 感觉在为了从句而从句。。） usually learn knowledge more easily than those who are less confident. In that, confident students trust themselves that they can learn everything well and then undertake immediately while others doubt their ability and take long time to considerate（consider） how to complete the assignment in right way. Thus, the confident students accomplish task more quickly and they can take the corresponding spare time to do（make） a flexible arrangement. As a consequence, teacher should help every student to gain self-confidence.(感觉例子不够具体 就说我们学校着急一群普通的同学 说是优等班 大家很自信 学习很好 另一个班 老师也一样 学习就不好)p9 v% ^8 o3 v! Q

Moreover, self-confidence certainly contributes to increase communication（这个跟下文没联系啊。。。。） and inspire innovation. As a truth, there are potential innovation factors in both confident and unconfident people’s bodies. However, only confident people’s talent of innovating is stimulated. It is owing to that confident people regard themselves as superior ones and they can do everything better than others. On the contrast, people who are unconfident don’t believe they can do things well, so their real ability of innovation is constrained. Thereby, people incorrectly regard the confident people as the more intelligent individuals.(分析很好， 加个例子最好了)
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Despite the fact that self-confidence does provide tons of benefits, it surely leads to some negative impacts. Undeniably（用个转折的词更逻辑一点 nevertheless）, the strength of self-confidence is overwhelmingly greater than the corresponding weakness. Under this phenomenon, why not pay more attention on（to） the above statement? In terms of previous experience, it is certainly more important for a teacher to help student to gain self-confidence other than specific knowledge.0 \# R) Z5 U% Z; C4 K0 ?+ W
321 words

写的不错~加油
但是只有2个论点， 会不会太无力了， 大家一般不都有3个？
在句型方面感觉有太多的人物开头句（新东方老师说不好 我也不知道 呵呵） 尝试下次多用几个句型 比如分词短语开头，抽象名词开头
水平有限~见笑~ 自己再斟酌斟酌

风辰的眼泪UID: 2618183

谢谢哈，改的很认真很具体，真正受教了哈。

happylrUID: 2618525

1# 风辰的眼泪
Education, as one essential step of people’s lives which significantly infers people’s future, is often referred as one integral component of today’s society. However, it is largely proposed that the correct education is that teacher should teach student specific knowledge other than（rather than） help them to gain self-confidence. Indeed(额…感觉这个语气词跟前面一句话的意思不和谐啊), students deserve to gain self-confidence from teacher’s help currently.- B5

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Self-confidence surely help students to learn more conveniently and quickly. People always take that students should only learn scientific knowledge for granted, but neglect the importance of self-confidence. In reality, students who are confident usually learn knowledge more easily than those who are less confident. In that, confident students trust themselves that they can learn everything well and then undertake immediately while others doubt their ability and take long time to considerate（consider） how to complete the assignment in right way. Thus, the confident students accomplish task more quickly and they can take the corresponding spare time to do a flexible arrangement. As a consequence, teacher should help every student to gain self-confidence.+ l* N y
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Moreover, self-confidence certainly contributes to increase(improve怎么样？)communication and inspire innovation. As a truth, there are potential innovation factors in both confident and unconfident people’s bodies. However, only confident people’s talent of innovating（innovation） is stimulated. It is owing to(it’s owned to，觉得it ascribes to) that confident people regard themselves as superior people and they can do everything better than others. On the contrast, people who are unconfident don’t believe they can do things well, so their real ability of innovation is constrained. Thereby, people incorrectly(mistakenly怎么样) regard the confident people as the more intelligent individuals." W) f2 y8 H6 Y$ e2 N2 E

Despite the fact that self-confidence does provide tons of benefits, it surely leads to some negative impacts. Underiably（额…不知道什么意思，undeniably吗？）, the strength of self-confidence is overwhelming(overwhelmingly) greater than the corresponding weakness. Under this phenomenon, why not pay more attention on(to) the above statement? In terms of previous experience, it is certainly more important for a teacher to help students to gain self-confidence other than specific knowledge.$ ?  E7 s3 @2 D% `' f: S
321 words

楼主的作文很coherent,连接词用的很好（已用蓝色标注），条理清楚，词语用的也恰当，好多都是我没想到的，如。同gaofei323的意见一样，觉得两个分论点有点少，可以适当的再发展一个。