TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 bb980 第十九次作业

bb980UID: 2527518

Have you ever got a low-grade in class with embarrassed?Have you ever blushed and shuttered when you are told to answer the questions by teachers?Have you ever had much knowledge but not able to express them clearly and accurately ?If you have had a such experience before,you need to gain some self-confidence.
    Whenever we are in school,teachers always teach us specific knowledge which is just serving for the examinations.Most of us can write their opinions down but hardly express them out due to the lack of self-confidence.So,from my point of view,it is more important for a teacher try to help students to gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge.If you lost your confidence,you may feel bashful in the public such as shaking while others focus on you,faltering when you have a speech or blushing as soon as be point out the bane.Without self-confidence ,you can do nothing,even not allow to working out the questions in the text.In other words,confident is the foundament.
    Certainly,gain specific knowledge has its own advantages,such as expanding the knowledge in our minds,realizing more about nature and social,developing our reading and writing skills and so on.On the other hand,without confidence and brave,you are not capable of getting them inside out.Thus,your abilities equal to nothing.Just be isolated to others because you can not communicate with others fluently.That is to say,you are not able to be "alive" in contemporary society.
    From what has been discussed above,we may safely draw the conclusion that it is more important to gain self-confidence than to acquire some specific knowledge.Therefore,we should increase our self-confidence as well as study the specific knowledge.Such is the remard of James Allen,"The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do".

第一次写TOEFL作文，不太会把握，还请多多批评~!!

wazzaUID: 2473807

Have you ever got a low-grade in class with embarrassed?Have you ever blushed and shuttered when you are told to answer the questions by teachers?Have you ever had much knowledge but not able to express them clearly and accurately ?（3个连续的反问开头，很好）If you have had a such experience before,you need to gain some self-confidence. Whenever we are in school,teachers always teach us specific knowledge which is just serving for the examinations.Most of us can write their opinions down but hardly express them out due to the lack of self-confidence.So,from my point of view,it is more important for a teacher try to help students to gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge( 自己的观点最好在开头表明 ）.If you lost your confidence,you may feel bashful in the public such as shaking while others focus on you,faltering when you have a speech or blushing as soon as be point out the bane.Without self-confidence ,you can do nothing,even not allow to working out the questions in the text.In other words,confident is the foundament. Certainly,gain specific knowledge has its own advantages,such as expanding the knowledge in our minds,realizing more about nature and social,developing our reading and writing skills and so on.On the other hand,without confidence and brave,you are not capable of getting them inside out.Thus,your abilities equal to nothing.Just be isolated to others because you can not communicate with others fluently.That is to say,you are not able to be "alive" in contemporary society. From what has been discussed above,we may safely draw the conclusion that it is more important to gain self-confidence than to acquire some specific knowledge.Therefore,we should increase our self-confidence as well as study the specific knowledge.Such is the remard of James Allen,"The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do".# 1. 在论述时，每段开头表明论点，然后展开论述，多点具体例子 2.少用we you等 人称，多用第三人称 如 person people individuals 更显客观

bb980UID: 2527518

谢谢，下次我会改正的~！！

liurui8802UID: 2595045

Have you ever got a low-grade去掉短横 in class with embarrassed用名词?Have you ever blushed and shuttered when you are told(demanded) to answer the questions by teachers?Have you ever had much knowledge but not(be) able to express them clearly and accurately ?If you have had a such(such a) experience before(before去掉,这个词只能跟过去时连用,you need to gain some self-confidence.$ t$ z% V9 Y) Z6 f
    Whenever we are in school,teachers always teach us specific knowledge which is just serving for the examinations.这句话表达绝对了吧Most of us can write their opinions down but（can) hardly express them out due to the lack of self-confidence.So,from my point of view,it is more important for a teacher (to)try to help students to gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge.If you(突然转化人称） lost your confidence,you may feel bashful in the(去掉the) public such as shaking while others focus on you,faltering when you have a speech or blushing as soon as be point out the bane???什么意思？.Without self-confidence ,you can do nothing,even not allow to working out the questions in the text.为什么是允许呢？In other words,confident用名词！ is the foundament用名词！._
    Certainly,gain（ing) specific knowledge has its own advantages,such as expanding the knowledge in our minds,realizing more about nature and socia用名词l,developing our reading and writing skills and so on.On the other hand,without confidence and brave名词,you are not capable of getting them inside out.Thus,your abilities equal to nothing.Just be isolated to others because you can not communicate with others fluently.That is to say,you are not able to be "alive" in contemporary society.1 f0 m, [7 [# Z$ T
    From what has been discussed above,we may safely draw the conclusion that it is more important to gain self-confidence than to acquire some specific knowledge.Therefore,we should increase our self-confidence as well as study the specific knowledge.Such is the remard of James Allen,"The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do".
总的来说，语法错误比较多，句式变化也很少。词性经常出错。建议先巩固一下语法基础。
另外，你的作文抛开了老师，大谈自信和知识哪个重要，有点偏题。