TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组gaofei323 第二十三次作业

gaofei323UID: 2588256

Teacher should be paid according to their students' performs？

Have you ever heard the recent popular news on education that teacher should be paid based on the performance of their students? A large number of people developing it augured that this policy would dramatically improve the effectiveness of teacher’s work. In my opinion, however, it would bring no benefit but terrible result by following reasons.

In the first place, connecting teachers’ income with students’ performance is not fair to teachers in that teaching is not the unique determinant for the students’ study. As is known to all, success of a student in school course was determined by various factors such as diligence, attitude, learning method and even the inborn gift besides teacher. For example, even though teachers devote enough vigor to prepare class, review homework, and improve their teaching approaches, there is still a certain group of students who ignore the teachers’ hard work and defer homework and miss class as usual. Thus, it is extremely unfair that let those ones determine teachers’ payment.

Additionally, if this policy comes true, it would not difficult to image that teacher would take any possible method to increase students without considering whether it is reasonable. Under the pressure of gaining enough money to support their family, how could you promise that teachers would always choose the reasonable measures rather than some immediate-work ones? For instance, sometime they may assign excessive homework to students or test 10 times a month, it may impel the students’ attention to study but they are not willing but compelled by teacher. In the long run, it will bring huge negative result to students’ life.

Last but not least, based on this absurd discipline, the treatment between the high-grade students and the low-grade one would be dramatically divergent. Apparently, someone who performed well in the class would promote the teachers’ revenue, therefore they could gain more care and instruction by teacher. But how about the poor-grade ones? Maybe it is just because something not serious like the ineffective study plan or lacking of confidence that lead them to poor performance, but if no more concern from their teacher can be contributed to them, with time elapsing they would be serious ones that affecting the students in their whole life. So, this tragedy should not be accepted since it will make the better ones better, worse ones worse.


To sum up, conjoining teachers’ payment with students’ performance is absolute meaningless and even cause some detrimental effects because it is not fair to teacher, decrease the education quality and cause unbalanced treatment of the whole class.

笨笨奔奔UID: 2623534

1# gaofei323
Teacher should be paid according to their students' performs？4 Z% d* S. ^+ O3 y
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Have you ever heard the recent popular news on education that teacher should be paid based on the performance of their students? A large number of people developing it augured（argued） that this policy would dramatically improve the effectiveness of teacher’s work. In my opinion, however, it would bring no benefit but terrible result by following reasons.1 l3 p' V. {) h! @; r% a
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In the first place, connecting teachers’ income with students’ performance is not fair to teachers in that teaching is not the unique determinant for the students’ study. As is known to all, success of a student in school course was determined by various factors such as diligence, attitude, learning method and even the inborn gift besides teacher. For example, even though teachers devote enough vigor to prepare class, review homework, and improve their teaching approaches, there is still a certain group of students who ignore the teachers’ hard work and defer homework and miss class as usual. Thus, it is extremely unfair that let those ones determine teachers’ payment.

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Additionally, if this policy comes true, it would not difficult to image that teacher would take any possible method to increase students without considering whether it is reasonable. Under the pressure of gaining enough money to support their family, how could you promise that teachers would always choose the reasonable measures rather than some immediate-work ones? For instance, sometime they may assign excessive homework to students or test 10 times a month, it may impel the students’ attention to study but they are not willing but compelled by teacher.(这句话两个but  感觉第一个but 是不是改成定语从句比较好呢？) In the long run, it will bring （many）huge negative result（s） to （the）students’ life（and interest and passion for learning）." J) d" \! q8 j) `



Last but not least,based on this absurd discipline（我不知道这句话是什么作用  基于这个政策吧 不应该是学科吧 ）, the treatment between the high-grade students and the low-grade one would be dramatically divergent. Apparently, someone who performed well in the class would promote the teachers’ revenue, therefore they could gain more care and instruction by teacher（s）. But how about the poor-grade ones? Maybe it is just because something not serious like the ineffective study plan or lacking of confidence that lead them to poor performance, but if no more concern from their teacher can be contributed to them, with time elapsing they would be serious ones that affecting the students in their whole life. So, this tragedy should not be accepted since it will make the better ones better, worse ones worse.
p0 x

To sum up, conjoining teachers’ payment with students’ performance is absolute（是不是应该absolutely） meaningless and even cause some detrimental effects because it is not fair to teacher, decrease the education quality and cause unbalanced treatment of the whole class.


谢谢你帮我改了作文，你的作文真的很好  真应该向你学习  
似乎你不喜欢举特别细节的例子  我也不知道这样好不好 不过应该说理说清楚就可以吧  我改的东西也不一定对  抱歉  我水平有限