5.6月份 作文散户 互改作文cracking ibt essay! 小组 xiushe的第三次作业

xiusheUID: 2136439

请大家帮忙修改指正 /__\!
还有感谢上次帮忙修改的 lingyao 和 想秋刀鱼的猫 同学！

We all make mistake anyway. It is always better to learn from the mistake, but not to ignore it.It is the samething to friedns; if a friend of mine made a mistake, I would rather tell him/her even risk our friendship than doing nothing about it.

normally, correct a friend who had made a mistake won't hurt the relationship. Because you were helping him not to suffer from the bad consequence.For example, I always hanging around with firends in an art forum on internet. Various artist had built up their thread to show their artworks, people who click into their topic can view the drawings and leave message. the majority of the reply was words full of appreciation like"impressive!"or "great works",only few people being critical to them because most people reluctant to point out their mistake in paintings, In fact, most artist desire to hearing criticize instead of some empty words, only that can help them improve their skills but not to continue their wrong ways.

On the contrary,If you not tell a friend and let she/he doing the wrong things, she/he may get annoyed with you after found that you didn't awake she/he when she's doing wrong, even more likely to break up with you. From my personal experience, there was a time a classmate named Emily felt asleep on her table during a class, nobody awake her because they were busy with their own study. The consequence  of her sleep was seriouse because some leadership of the school happend walking through the window found a sleeping Emily, and they were very angry.Since then Emily break off with her neighbor for she haven't awake her.

After all, stand aside Letting a friend make mistakes is not what friends do, I believe to tell the truth is better than just let him/her going wrong.

想秋刀鱼的猫UID: 2304079

We all make mistake(s) anyway. It is always better to learn from the mistake, but not to ignore it(可以去掉先）.It is the same thing to friedns（It is连续用有点单调，可以改成 To friends is the same）; if a friend of mine made a mistake, I would rather tell him/her even risk our friendship than doing nothing about it.(rather than连在一起比较多，可以用prefer to ...than）

t( A% u: a0 B! r
normally, correct（+ing动名词做主语) a friend who  made a mistake won't hurt the relationship. Because you were (are)helping him not to suffer from the bad consequence.For example, I always hanging(hang) around with firends in an art forum on internet. Various artist had(去掉，时态要注意呀） built up their thread（这里用词有点不准确，是想表达思路的意思吗？thread表示生命线的用法比较多）to show their artworks, people who click into their topic（S) can view the drawings and leave message. the majority of the reply was words full of appreciation like"impressive!"or "great works",only few people being critical to them because most people reluctant to point out their mistake(s) in paintings, In fact, most artist desire to hearing criticize instead of some empty words, only that can help them improve their skills but not to continue their wrong ways(倒装句表强调用的很好^_^).$ |; B,
这一段的例子跟主题稍微有点偏离，主题的名词主语是friends，所举事例还要再贴切一些
^! J, g- ~  y
( k" K% i: `1 q1 }$ ?- V
On the contrary,If you not（don't) tell a friend and let(lead) she/he doing the(somne) wrong things, she/he may get(be) annoyed with you after found that you didn't awake she/he when she's doing wrong, even more likely to break up with you. (这一句时态要重新整理下，太多了..)From my personal experience, there was a time (直接用once)a classmate named Emily felt asleep on her table during a class, nobody awake(d) her because they were busy with their own study. The consequence  of her sleep was seriouse because（多用分句，改成，unfortunately,) some leadership(S) of the school happend walking through the window(class) found a(the) sleeping Emily, and they were very angry.Since then Emily break off with her neighbor for (because)she haven't awake her.

After all, stand aside(这个词组位置不多) Letting a friend make mistakes is not what (加个real强调下）friends do, I believe to （that)tell the truth is better than just let him/her going wrong.; {/ e! t

水平有限，请多关照^_^

lsr91UID: 2540702

We all make mistake(同楼上) anyway. It is always better to learn from the(去掉吧建议，因为前面没有特定的某个mistake) mistake, but not to ignore it.It is the samething to friedns(拼写, 句式修改意见同楼上) ; if a friend of mine made a mistake, I would rather tell him/her even risk our friendship than doing nothing about it.

normally, correct(同楼上) a friend who had made a mistake won't hurt the relationship. Because you were helping him not to suffer from the bad consequence.For example, I always hanging around with firends(again) in an art forum on internet. Various artist had built up their thread(时态错误同楼上，建议这句话改成show their ideas and artworks) to show their artworks, people who click into their topic can view the drawings and leave message. the majority of the reply was words full of appreciation like"impressive!"or "great works",only few people being critical to them because most people reluctant to point out their mistake in paintings, In fact, most artist desire to hearing criticize instead of some empty words, only that can help them improve their skills but not to continue their wrong ways.

On the contrary,If you not(同楼上) tell a friend and let she/he doing the wrong things, she/he may get annoyed with you after found that you didn't awake she/he when she's doing wrong, even more likely to break up with you. (怎一个乱字了得) From my personal experience, there was a time a classmate named Emily felt asleep on her table during a class, nobody awake her because they were busy with their own study. The consequence  of her sleep was seriouse because some leadership of the school happend walking through the window found a sleeping Emily, and they were very angry.Since then Emily break off with her neighbor for she haven't awake her.% L6 r% `2 u2 o2 ^4 j
2 o$ l5 I0 I( M6 f. A
After all, stand aside Letting a friend make mistakes is not what friends do, I believe to tell the truth is better than just let him/her going wrong.

与君共勉！欢迎痛批我的文章，我是16楼的~

bnlcblgmdnUID: 2632359

1# xiushe
We all make mistake anyway. It is always better to learn from the mistake, but not（than） to ignore it. It is the same thing to friedns; if a friend of mine made a mistake, I would rather tell him/her even risk our friendship than doing（是不是用do？） nothing about it.（1论点：我认为该提醒）

Normally, correct a friend who had made a mistake won't hurt the relationship. Because you were helping him not to suffer from the bad consequence. For example, I （此处漏词）always hanging around with firends in an art forum on internet. Various artist had built up their thread to show their artworks, people who click into their topic can view the drawings and leave message. The majority of the reply was words full of appreciation like"impressive!"or "great works", only few people being（were） critical to them because most people reluctant to point out their mistake in paintings, In fact, most artist desire to hearing criticize instead of some empty words, only that （which）can help them improve their skills but not to continue their wrong ways.（2这段是朋友欢迎提醒的例子）

On the contrary, if you do not tell a friend and let she/he doing（do） the wrong things, she/he may get annoyed with you after found（finding） that you didn't awake（为了减少争议，去掉a吧~） she/he when she's doing wrong, even more likely to break up with you. From my personal experience, there was a time a classmate named Emily felt asleep on her table during a class, nobody awake her because they were busy with their own study. The consequence of her sleep was seriouse because some leadership of the school happened to walk through the window ，finding a sleeping Emily, and they were very angry. （leadership是领导力和领导阶层，建议改成leaders吧，还可以和were呼应）Since then Emily break off with her neighbor for she haven't awake her.（这一句应使用过去式和过去完成式）（3这段是朋友愤怒没有得到提醒的例子）

After all, stand aside Letting a friend make mistakes is not what friends do, I believe to tell the truth is better than just let him/her going wrong.（4结论：既然朋友欢迎提醒，不欢迎不提醒，我们就提醒吧~）

作者事例典型，层次明晰，行文清楚。有一点小问题是，我觉得中间2段有些时态不一致。然后就多模拟实战、减少拼写错误就好。
昨天有事外出，回复稍迟还请见谅！谢谢你给我的建议和鼓励，希望我们一起取得进步！