TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 bb980 第26次作业

bb980UID: 2527518

Nowaday, univerisity students are acquired to focus on the specific knowledge in the field of their majors. As for human beings, nothing can be ever compared with the real history. Only by learning history can people acknowledge the whole world, society as well as the varies cultures of mankind. So, I am inclind to the view that undergraduated should take the history courses, despite the fact that they are not in the field which the college students study in.

    In the first place, history teaches us as much as we can learn from books. I cling to a belief that history should be recieved to all people on account of the knowledge, we use it to reconsider ourselves and the whole prossess of the world. Date back to 5000 years, China was established as to become a magnificate and unite country in the earth. Many significant events have been taken place during the days passing away. As for individuals, they can also study much from the predecessors even if they are dropping behind and having feudalism minds. The spirits of them are more likely advancement on condition that they live in the modern society. Take an ancient for example, Zhang Heng, a mathematician, astronomer and geographer of the Eastern Han Dynasty, was the inventor of primitive seismograph fot measuring earthquakes. His invention, a machine which can measure earthquakes immidiately, cannot be explained, how does it work, by professors today. So people have much to study for the predecessors. Therefore, the students also should be given some history classes to gain the knowledge to recognize the formerly world.

    Last but not least, provided that a person has no idea with history but full of mathematic problem ,what can he/she do in contemprory society. Hardly can he/she get the spiritual encouragement without the historical knowledge.

    To sum up, taking some history courses give students not only the history knowledge but also the spiritual encouragement. Furthermore, I am convinced that students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.

gaofei323UID: 2588256

Nowadays, university students are acquired to focus on the specific knowledge in the field of their majors. As for human beings, nothing can be ever compared with the real history. Only by learning history can people acknowledge the whole world, society as well as the various cultures of mankind. So, I am inclined to the view that undergraduates should take the history courses, despite the fact that they are not in the field which the college students study in.9 Y$ L* B( a3 v) y" t! P* F* S
o2 U
    In the first place, history teaches us as much as we can learn from books.(历史给我们的和书一样多？什么意思？或者是历史给我们很多知识，直接说) I cling to a belief that history should be received to all people on account of the knowledge, we use it（which can be used） to reconsider ourselves and the whole prossess(?) of the world. Date back to 5000 years ago, China was established as to become a magnificent and unite country in the earth. Many significant events have been taken place during the days passing away. As for individuals, they can also study much from the predecessors even if they are dropping behind and having feudalism minds. The spirits of them are more likely advancement(advance) on condition that they live in the modern society. Take an ancient person for example, Zhang Heng, a mathematician, astronomer and geographer of the Eastern Han Dynasty, was the inventor of primitive seismograph fot measuring earthquakes. His invention, a machine which can measure earthquakes immidiately,（重复） cannot be explained, how does it work, by professors today（current professors）. So people have much to study for the predecessors. Therefore, the students also should be given some history classes to gain the knowledge to recognize the formerly(former) world.9 |5 ~$ G* Z; J& p1 z8 w4 u0 e" ]
& E
    Last but not least, provided（什么意思？） that a person has no idea with history but full of mathematic problem ,what can he/she do in contemporary society. Hardly can he/she get the spiritual encouragement without the historical knowledge.

    To sum up, taking some history courses gives students not only the history knowledge but also the spiritual encouragement. Furthermore（in a word）, I am convinced that students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.

改了很多次你的作文~ 还是能看到你的进步 但还是有不足
首先结构~ 这种结构不是主流写法，我不敢肯定的说会不会被接受~ 但是明显2个论点内容充实度很不平衡
在用词方面，拼写错误较多，词性也掌握的不是很好
句式还是比较丰富，但的句子表达不是很清楚，也有的刻意拉长，但其实很罗嗦效果不好
继续加油~

chelseajcoleUID: 2589519

Nowaday, univerisity(university) students are acquired to focus on(感觉不是很通） the specific knowledge in the field of their majors. As for human beings, nothing can be ever compared with the real history. Only by learning history can people acknowledge the whole world, society as well as the varies cultures of mankind. So, I am inclind? to the view that undergraduated should take the history courses, despite the fact that they are not in the field which the college students study in.(despite the fact that they are major in the field which need not history course)
    In the first place, history teaches us as much as we can learn from books. I cling to a belief that history should be recieved to all people on account of the knowledge, we use it to reconsider ourselves and the whole prossess of the world. Date back to 5000 years, China was established as to become a magnificate and unite country (in) the earth.(around world) Many significant events have been taken place during the days (passing away). As for individuals, they can also study much from the predecessors even if they are dropping behind and having feudalism minds. The spirits of them are more likely advancement on condition that they live in the modern society. Take an ancient for example, Zhang Heng, a mathematician, astronomer and geographer of the Eastern Han Dynasty, was the inventor of primitive seismograph fot measuring earthquakes. His invention, a machine which can measure earthquakes immidiately, cannot be explained, how does it work, by professors today. So people have much to study for the predecessors. Therefore, the students also should be given some history classes to gain the knowledge to recognize the formerly world.
张衡的例子这里写的很好，但是这段主题是In the first place, history teaches us as much as we can learn from books，这样其实也可以，但是要围绕这个主题啊，看着后面的内容好什么关系了，最后又突然拉回来）
    Last but not least, provided that a person has no idea with history but full of mathematic problem ,what can he/she do in contemprory（contemporary) society. Hardly can he/she get the spiritual encouragement without the historical knowledge.

To sum up, taking some history courses give students not only the history knowledge but also the spiritual encouragement. Furthermore, I am convinced that students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.

可以合理的分一下三段写，这样比较传统比较稳妥一点吧
这样的话我觉得是支持或者发展不够好
提出观点，然后分三个分论点，每个分论点用具体的议论方法（包括，举例子，亲身经历。统计表明等等，能说明你的论点的，随便编几个都行，只要言之有理有可以