Argument14

zyp8756UID: 2594775

In this memo, the owner of Gardening Center (GT) suggests that GT can get more profits by increasing the kinds of seeds. He cites a national survey showing consumers' dissatisfaction with the quality of supermarket vegetables, and the gardening magazine Great Gardena were sold out in a
locate magazine shop. However, I find the argument unpersuasive, for several reasons.

First, by relying on the national survey to support its conclusion the argument depends on the assumption that the result of national survey adapt for everybody in the town. But the owner provides no evident to hold the assumption. Perhaps many of the civilian are satisfied with the vegetables. Thus, lacking related evidence of effectiveness, civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT.

Second, the national survey held in last month does not necessary indicate that this month people are still dissatisfied with the vegetables. it is quite possible that farm harvest this month and last month the vegetables were in grow. Moreover, perhaps consumers at the moment are enjoying the fresh vegetables at home. The mere fact that the national survey held in last month is scant evidence that the town's residents would be interested in buying vegetables seeds from GT.

Third, the owner assumes that the gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) has sold out in the town three months in a row. He may overlook the possibility that the quality of Great Gardens can not inflect the residents need lots of seeds from GT to grow. Perhaps the company decided to discount for selling well, and maybe the newsstand imported less GG than before. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the owner's claim that the consumer would buy seeds from GT.

In conclusion, the memo fails to convince me the GT can increase the profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring. To strengthen the argument the owner must account for all other factors that may impact vegetable seeds selling from GT.I would need more statistical information about what the evaluation likes this month locally I would also need to know whether the quantity increases.

zyp8756UID: 2594775

处女作 很批吧！

chenqiyanUID: 2195033

In this memo, the owner of Gardening Center (GT) suggests that GT can get more profits by increasing the kinds of seeds. He cites a national survey showing consumers' dissatisfaction with the quality of supermarket vegetables, and the gardening magazine Great Gardena were sold out in a locate magazine shop. However, I find the argument unpersuasive,（逗号去掉） for several reasons.

First, by relying on the national survey to support its conclusion the argument depends on the assumption that the result of national survey adapt for everybody in the town. But the owner provides no evident to hold the assumption. Perhaps many of the civilians are satisfied with the vegetables. Thus, lacking related evidence of effectiveness, civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT.（原文说根据全国性的调查显示消费者对超市里的新鲜蔬菜不满意，你说lacking related evidence，也就是是说消费者可能还是满意的，既然满意的话那么消费者还是会去超市买新鲜蔬菜的，如果去买新鲜蔬菜的话那么可能不会去买GT的种子了，最后也就是说不能得出civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT这个结论吧）

Second, the national survey held in last month does not necessary indicate that this month people are still dissatisfied with the vegetables. It is quite possible that farm harvest this month and last month the vegetables were in grow.（我知道你的意思是想表达“田里上个月刚种下去，这个月才刚刚丰收。”个人觉得这个句子表达得还是欠佳，至少前后顺序应该换一下或者原来前后应该是转折关系） Moreover, perhaps consumers at the moment are enjoying the fresh vegetables at home. The mere fact that the national survey held in last month is scant evidence that the town's residents would be interested in buying vegetables seeds from GT.

Third, the owner assumes that the gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) has sold out in the town three months in a row. He may overlook the possibility that the quality（你是不是想表达杂志的数量quantity？） of Great Gardens can not inflect（reflect） the residents need lots of seeds from GT to grow. Perhaps the company decided to discount for selling well, and maybe the newsstand imported less GG than before. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the owner's claim that the consumer would buy seeds from GT.

In conclusion, the memo fails to convince me the GT can increase the profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring. To strengthen the argument the owner must account for all other factors that may impact vegetable seeds selling from GT.I would need more statistical information about what the evaluation likes this month locally （and）I would also need to know whether the quantity increases.


评价：个人感觉文章逻辑思维有点紊乱，另外有点生套模板句子的现象。

zyp8756UID: 2594775

In this memo, the owner of Gardening Center (GT) suggests that GT can get more profits by increasing the kinds of（可以借用你的expanding the variety of ） seeds. He cites a national survey showing consumers' dissatisfaction with the quality of supermarket vegetables, and the gardening magazine Great Gardena were sold out in a locate magazine shop. However, I find the argument unpersuasive,（逗号去掉） for several reasons.

First, by relying on the national survey to support its conclusion the argument depends on the assumption that the result of national survey adapt everybody in the town. But the owner provides no evident to hold the assumption. Perhaps many of the civilians are satisfied with the vegetables. Thus, lacking related evidence of effectiveness, civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT.（原文说根据全国性的调查显示消费者对超市里的新鲜蔬菜不满意，你说lacking related evidence，也就是是说消费者可能还是满意的，既然满意的话那么消费者还是会去超市买新鲜蔬菜的，如果去买新鲜蔬菜的话那么可能不会去买GT的种子了，最后也就是说不能得出civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT这个结论吧）

Second, the national survey held in last month does not necessary indicate that this month people are still dissatisfied with the vegetables. It is quite possible that farm harvest this month and last month the vegetables were in grow.（我知道你的意思是想表达“田里上个月刚种下去，这个月才刚刚丰收。”个人觉得这个句子表达得还是欠佳，至少前后顺序应该换一下或者原来前后应该是转折关系） Moreover, perhaps consumers at the moment are enjoying the fresh vegetables at home. The mere fact that the national survey held in last month is scant evidence that the town's residents would be interested in buying vegetables seeds from GT.

Third, the owner assumes that the gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) has sold out in the town three months in a row. He may overlook the possibility that the quality（你是不是想表达杂志的数量quantity？回答：YES） of Great Gardens can not inflect（reflect） the residents need lots of seeds from GT to grow. Perhaps the company decided to discount for selling well, and maybe the newsstand imported less GG than before. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the owner's claim that the consumer would buy seeds from GT.

In conclusion, the memo fails to convince me the GT can increase the profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring. To strengthen the argument the owner must account for all other factors that may impact vegetable seeds selling from GT.I would need more statistical information about what the evaluation likes this month locally （and）I would also need to know whether the quantity increases.


评价：个人感觉文章逻辑思维有点紊乱，另外有点生套模板句子的现象。回答：重读文章发现最后一段句子明显加长，有模版化倾向，下次注意。

zyp8756UID: 2594775

In this memo, the owner of Gardening Center (GT) suggests that GT can get more profits by increasing the kinds of（可以借用你的expanding the variety of ） seeds. He cites a national survey showing consumers' dissatisfaction with the quality of supermarket vegetables, and the gardening magazine Great Gardena were sold out in a locate magazine shop. However, I find the argument unpersuasive,（逗号去掉） for several reasons. First, by relying on the national survey to support its conclusion the argument depends on the assumption that the result of national survey adapt everybody in the town. But the owner provides no evident to hold the assumption. Perhaps many of the civilians are satisfied with the vegetables. Thus, lacking related evidence of effectiveness, civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT.（原文说根据全国性的调查显示消费者对超市里的新鲜蔬菜不满意，你说lacking related evidence，也就是是说消费者可能还是满意的，既然满意的话那么消费者还是会去超市买新鲜蔬菜的，如果去买新鲜蔬菜的话那么可能不会去买GT的种子了，最后也就是说不能得出civilians are eager to buy seeds from GT这个结论吧） Second, the national survey held in last month does not necessary indicate that this month people are still dissatisfied with the vegetables. It is quite possible that farm harvest this month and last month the vegetables were in grow.（我知道你的意思是想表达“田里上个月刚种下去，这个月才刚刚丰收。”个人觉得这个句子表达得还是欠佳，至少前后顺序应该换一下或者原来前后应该是转折关系） Moreover, perhaps consumers at the moment are enjoying the fresh vegetables at home. The mere fact that the national survey held in last month is scant evidence that the town's residents would be interested in buying vegetables seeds from GT. Third, the owner assumes that the gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) has sold out in the town three months in a row. He may overlook the possibility that the quality（你是不是想表达杂志的数量quantity？回答：YES） of Great Gardens can not inflect（reflect） the residents need lots of seeds from GT to grow. Perhaps the company decided to discount for selling well, and maybe the newsstand imported less GG than before. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the owner's claim that the consumer would buy seeds from GT. In conclusion, the memo fails to convince me the GT can increase the profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds this coming spring. To strengthen the argument the owner must account for all other factors that may impact vegetable seeds selling from GT.I would need more statistical information about what the evaluation likes this month locally （and）I would also need to know whether the quantity increases. 评价：个人感觉文章逻辑思维有点紊乱，另外有点生套模板句子的现象。回答：重读文章发现最后一段句子明显加长，有模版化倾向，下次注意

3# chenqiyan