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发表于 2009-5-10 02:35:39 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 evonhanyf 于 2013-10-26 00:37 编辑

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荣誉版主 AW小组活动奖 Cancer巨蟹座 德意志之心

发表于 2009-5-10 23:58:22 |显示全部楼层
In this memothe owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center(GT) reasons that local residents are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, and projects that the strategy of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds stock can increase their profits. The owner's argumentation is problematic in several aspectswhich render it unconvincing as it stands.

Firstin order to prove the status
quo(??) that the local people are disappointed with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarketsthe author cited a national survey which indicated that consumers are dissatisfied with it. Howeverthe owner of GT overlooked that the level of satisfaction nationally with the store-buying vegetable is not necessarily demonstrate that locally. There is the possibility that residents in this town are quite satisfied with the vegetable of supermarket. Without ruling out this possibility, the owner of GT can't reach a conclusion of the local satisfaction level from a national survey.

Secondly, the memo overlooks the strong possibility that even if the local residents are displeased with the store-sold vegetable, many of them are not intended to grow their own vegetables. Maybe consumers are continuing to buy vegetables from the supermarket though they are dissatisfied with it. Or maybe they will complain to the supermarket to improve the quality of fresh vegetables or turn to vegetable stands to buy vegetable. These possibilities can't be eliminated so far. Thus the assumption that the dissatisfaction of consumers will lead them to cultivate their own vegetables is unreliable.


Thirdly, the second evidence the owner of GT stated is that the gardening magazine Great Gardens(GG) has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. This proof is unreliable too for 2 reasons(this proff is also unreliable for 2 reasons; too 通常是放句末的,用also要通顺些): On one hand, the GG magazine may cover all the aspects ------not only the vegetable growing, but the cultivation of flowers, plants and trees------of gardening. Perhaps the residents in the town are interested in beautification their own gardens which is totally have no relation with the vegetable cultivation(语法,感觉这里因该用非限制定从,which totally has no relation with.....). On the other hand, the sales volume at the Village News stand can't represent the situation in all stands. These two reasons reduce the reliability of this argument.



In sum, the owner of GT's point that the GT can increase their profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock is not well supported by the evidence. To strengthen it the author must prove that the local residents are more and more dissatisfied with the store-sold vegetables and not convenient to buy vegetables through other ways that they are willing to grow them on their own. To better evaluate it the owner should search the reason why the GG magazine has sold out at the stand. Then the argument will be more persuasive, practical and professional.


这篇文章的逻辑链个人觉得是这样的:
国家调查说质量不满意     推出       消费者要自己种    推出    如果增加品种 可以提高利润
杂志销售得很好      
作为题目的一个结论  profit的错误应该是一个比较严重的错误。 建议攻击一下这个错误

加油!

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