argument14 [into the fire]第一次作业

pingkoUID: 2622837

Grounding on the result of a national survey and the local sale amount of gardening magazine, the author draw a conclusion that the consumers are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, thus, the Green Thumb Gardening Center could increase the profit by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds stocked. In my point of view, the argument suffers from some logical flaws.
First of all, the national survey showing the trends that consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets does not necessarily apply to the local consumers’ attitude. Perhaps, the local vegetable supplying is fresher and of better quality than other cities, because the town is in the suburban district and approaches to the vegetable supply sources and local residents are satisfied with the vegetable in the supermarket. Even if the consumers in the town are not satisfied with the vegetable available in the supermarket either, there is no evidence that the residents have to grow vegetable by themselves. They can also buy vegetable form the green groceries or other supplier. Thus the nationwide trends that the argument cites amount to scant evidence the local consumers tend to be interested in growing vegetable.
Secondly, the argument assumes that the gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row would necessarily and sufficiently proves that the local residents would like to grow vegetable without substantiating this assumption. The author fails to provide the information about the purpose and the content about the magazine; maybe the contents are mainly about beatification of garden or how to plant flowers, having nothing to do with vegetable. Even though the gardening magazine is about planting vegetable and sold out three months in row locally, it is possible that the magazine’s circulation is too small in the suburban town and cannot satisfy the basic needs. Thus, more information about the content and circulation of the magazine might also be required for the reliability of the assumption.
Finally, admittedly the local residents are interested in growing vegetable and demand more seeds than before; it is not persuasive to assert that expanding the variety of seeds will increase the profits without surveying the preference of local people and considering the expense. Perhaps the local people prefer certain kinds of vegetables and do not want to change their tastes, so it is not necessary to store various seeds. The author merely accounts the revenue but fails to take the expense of purchasing and storing the seeds into consideration, it cannot convince me that the profits will increase.
To sum up, the argument is not persuasive enough to convince me. To strengthen it, the author should provide more statistics about the interest in growing vegetable and preference of local consumers and the content of the magazine before drawing conclusion.
字数  400+   没有计时

evonhanyfUID: 2489528

Grounding on the result of a national survey and the local sale amount of gardening magazine, the author draw a conclusion that the consumers are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables, thus, the Green Thumb Gardening Center could increase the profit by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds stocked. In my point of view, the argument suffers from some logical flaws.

First of all, the national survey showing the trends that consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets does not necessarily apply to the local consumers’ attitude. Perhaps, the local vegetable supplying is fresher and of better quality than other cities, because the town is in the suburban district and approaches to the vegetable supply sources and local residents are satisfied with the vegetable in the supermarket. Even if the consumers in the town are not satisfied with the vegetable available in the supermarket either, there is no evidence that the residents have to grow vegetable by themselves. They can also buy vegetable form the green groceries or other supplier. Thus the nationwide trends that the argument cites amount to scant evidence the local consumers tend to be interested in growing vegetable.（感觉这句去掉比较好，因为此段除了说全国调查不能代表地方情况外，LZ还说了即使当地居民不满意超市蔬菜也不一定自己种的情况～或者将even if 后另起一段，再具体分析）

Secondly, the argument assumes that the gardening magazine Great Gardens (GG) has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row would necessarily and sufficiently proves that the local residents would like to grow vegetable without substantiating this assumption. The author fails to provide the information about the purpose and the content about the magazine; maybe the contents are mainly about beatification（这个词貌似不大准确，是想说教授的意思么？但beatification是偏向宗教的授福） of garden or how to plant flowers, having nothing to do with vegetable. Even though the gardening magazine is about planting vegetable and sold out three months in row locally, it is possible that the magazine’s circulation is too small in the suburban town and cannot satisfy the basic needs. Thus（这个词用了第三次了。。。可以用therefore代替）, more information about the content and circulation of the magazine might also be required for the reliability of the assumption.（这段的结构跟上段很雷同～建议改一下～）
Finally, admittedly the local residents are interested in growing vegetable and demand more seeds than before; it is not persuasive to assert that expanding the variety of seeds will increase the profits without surveying the preference of local people and considering the expense. Perhaps the local people prefer certain kinds of vegetables and do not want to change their tastes, so it is not necessary to store various seeds. The author merely accounts the revenue but fails to take the expense of purchasing and storing the seeds into consideration, it cannot convince me that the profits will increase.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive enough to convince me. To strengthen it, the author should provide more statistics about the interest in growing vegetable and preference of local consumers and the content of the magazine before drawing conclusion.


逻辑清晰～LZ指出的错误里，有两个错误我根本没发现。。。。。。思维很缜密～

加油！共勉～