Argument173 =So What=小组第2次作业 by robotwish

robotwishUID: 2550184

:)

robotwishUID: 2550184

173.The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."

字数：561          用时：02:01:17          日期：2009/6/2 14:12:37

结论：we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.
前提（隐含）：利润下降因为国际性新闻以及国际新闻作为封面的影响
论据：
1.        Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers.
2.        Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news.
3.        the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing.

逻辑链：首先因为论据1，2，3，国际新闻数量导致了销量的减少，成本却增加，导致前提，最后得出结论

批驳：
1.        Whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the same other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news. The author doesn’t provide enough evidence.即使因为国际类新闻的影响，但是也不能说是作为封面而导致的结果，也许这些杂志广告太多，又或者这些杂志出售对象是那些订报的人，因此不太注重封面额
2.        How the competing news-magazines sell? Better or poorer?
3.        The cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that we cannot gain profit from the magazines which featured the international stories. Maybe over other period, the increasing selling leads to principle:薄利多销
4.        Even I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ decrease, are their other more important factors lead to the results? Or other factors impacted the international stories so that they bore the readers? 报刊亭的减少，携通讯手段的增加，杂志网站的出现，小开本、“口袋本”杂志的增长也在挑战杂志销量

robotwishUID: 2550184

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on  magazine covers. To support claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.

First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news. Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis. the author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents in the magazines not the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on their covers. So, before the author offers the enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending.

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between his magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place. Because of different minds, values, and so on, the people the competing magazines sell are not fond of international or pay little attention to these stories. Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales. Maybe their sales also decrease.

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers. Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost, they even cannot stand in the industry.

Finally, the author’s evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion. Obviously, author does not provide enough information. Even through I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight. Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

2006201652UID: 2496703

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on magazine covers. To support (this) claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning(reason) seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.

First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news. Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis.（word文档显得有语法错误，我没有找到:L ） The author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents(有点中式) in the magazines not the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on their covers. So, before the author offers the enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending.

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between his magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place（地方？）. Because of different minds, values, and so on, the people the competing magazines sell are not fond of international or pay little attention to these stories.(不太懂) Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales(从语法角度好像少了谓语). Maybe their sales also decrease.

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers. Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost（感觉好像是they使cost升高，主语换一下）, they even cannot stand in the industry.

Finally, the author’s evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion. Obviously, author does not provide enough information.（重复） Even through I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their(是这个there？) other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight(good). Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

1. 红色是建议修改的地方，橙色是有待讨论的，绿色是从作者文章中学到的东西。
2.文章攻击点不错，逻辑清晰。遣词造句好。

mqi07UID: 2521740

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on  magazine covers. To support (this)claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers.(是否加个连接词更好，表示这句也在论据中) Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.

First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except （besides）international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news. Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis. the author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader(s) boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents in the magazines not(instead of) the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on(at) their covers. So, before the author offers (the) enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending(最好稍稍重复一下具体的结论).

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between his（是否用Newbeat's更好） magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place. Because of（是否用based on 更通顺？） different minds, values, and so on, the people （of）the competing magazines sell(啥意思？啥成分？) are not fond of international or pay little attention to these stories. Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales（缺谓语，而且不通顺。是不是想说 how much is the sales of the competitors in comparison to the original)

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers(感觉这样用定语从句不太好，虽然语法上没有错误。改成： the fact that ... does not （不能缩写）。。。。,which... 是否更好). Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost, they even cannot stand in the industry（。。。读了几遍，觉得去掉 it is ，要不it is 做什么成分？单独的because of 就可以做原因状语了 ）.

Finally, the author’s evidence（s） are insufficient to support the conclusion(题中的evidence有三个 你这里只驳斥的第一个 所以还是把它摆出来好). Obviously, the author does not provide enough information. Even th(r)ough I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their(re) other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight. Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore（多余） many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

语言还得加强，虽然俺自己的也不咋地，
逻辑问题我晚点再补上。。。

robotwishUID: 2550184

5# mqi07
关于倒数第二段，我有点问题，我驳斥的不是第一个，三个论据我已经在上面三段驳斥，这一个是驳斥前提无法充分地得出结论

xwloveUID: 2481588

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on  magazine covers. To support （his）claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing（不错，赞一下）. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.

First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news. Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis. the author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents in the magazines not the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on their covers. So, before the author offers the enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending.

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between his magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place. Because of different minds, values, and so on, the people the competing magazines sell （sold to或者 who buy the competing magazines ）are not fond of international介词后面是名词或动名词 or pay little attention to these stories. Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales用词错误. Maybe their sales also decrease.

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers. Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost, they even cannot stand in the industry.

Finally, the author’s evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion. Obviously, author does not provide enough information. Even through I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight. Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

总体感觉非常好。
但是注意语法，注意写的时候有一个“英语思维模式”，感觉有一些错误是由于你先用中文思考然后翻译的过程中不自觉地出现了。
非常欣赏你的思维和词汇。

houlmesUID: 2595866

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on  magazine covers. To support  the claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.
8错
First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news. Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis. the author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents in the magazines not the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on their covers. So, before the author offers the enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending.

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between his magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place. Because of different minds, values, and so on, the people the competing 表达有问题magazines sell are not fond of international or pay little attention to these stories. Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales. Maybe their sales also decrease.

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers. Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost, they even cannot stand in the industry.

Finally, the author’s evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion. Obviously, author does not provide enough information. Even through I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight. Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.
写的挺不错啦~比我的好……我能找到的楼上都找到了~加油。
思维和逻辑和例文挺像了
To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

akongworldUID: 2607594

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on  magazine covers. To support claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets that are questionable.

First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured the new international stories and news.这段读得我稍微有点混乱.... Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis. the author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents in the magazines not the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on their covers. So, before the author offers the enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending.

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified analogy between his magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place. Because of different minds, values, and so on, the people the competing magazines sell are not fond of international newsor pay little attention to these stories. Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales. Maybe their sales also decrease.

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers. Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost, they even cannot stand in the industry.提高成本才能在市场上立足？.....虽然竞争是残酷的，但也不用以自残吧...

Finally, the author’s evidences are insufficient to support the conclusion. Obviously, author does not provide enough information. Even through I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight. Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.
这段写得挺好的~~~新方式的冲击....
To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.

总的来说lz这篇写的很不错呢~思维逻辑都很出色~~很多地方值得学习~~~
不过有些句子写得稍微有点混乱，读起来比较绕口.....
还有，改的有点晚了~~~实在不好意思......

dacongfanUID: 2644717

In this argument, the author concludes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on  magazine covers. To support this claim, the author assumes that poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. In addition, the author also states that the cost of maintaining foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. At first glance, the author’s reasoning seems to be appealing, while clearly examining the author’s reasoning个人觉得和上一个reasoning有点重复，看看能不能换成argument或者将the author's reasoning 整个换成it, we may find that it is unconvincing. The argument contains several facets赞 that are questionable. 个人觉得首段有点过长了，另外对于原文的重复我觉得应该做些适当的改动。

First of all, through the evidence the author provides, I cannot judge that whether the poorest-selling magazines had featured the other news or stories except international ones, and whether the best-selling magazines also had featured同样有点重复 the new international stories and news. Even though the international stories lead to the sales' decreasing because of lacking depth and interesting analysis. the author cannot convince me that front covers with these sorts of pictures or titles make the reader boring and give up choosing the magazines. It is entirely possible that there are too many advertisements in these magazines, or that the most readers of the magazines are the people who look more about the whole contents in the magazines not the ones who only judge magazines by the first look on their covers. So, before the author offers the去掉 enough evidence, I cannot accept that the international stories in covers result in the ending指的是什么啊.

Secondly, the author makes an oversimplified赞 analogy between his magazines and the competing ones. In most instances, this is an unwarranted assumption for the simple reason that things rarely remain the same from place to place. Because of different minds, values, and so on, the people 我觉得这块是不是应该加个to whomthe competing magazines sell are not fond of international or pay little attention to these stories. Besides, we also do not know how the competing news-magazines with fewer international stories sales. Maybe their sales also decrease.

In addition, the cost for maintaining for these bureaus is increasing, which doesn’t prove that they cannot gain profits from the magazines which featured the international stories in front covers. Maybe over other period, the increasing sales are based on a economic principle: small profits but quick turnover. Or it is also because of the fierce market competition, if they do not increase the cost, they even cannot stand in the industry.

Finally, the author’s evidences做证据的时候不能复数加s，加s 的时候是迹象的意思 are insufficient to support the conclusion.觉得此句过于笼统，有点不明所以 Obviously, author does not provide enough information. Even through I agree that the international stories used as the covers lead to the profits’ reducing, are their other more important factors causing the results? With the development of the technology, more new types for reading news and magazines are pouring to our sight. Portable means of communication increases and the emergence of magazine Web sites, the small and pocket types' growth in magazine sales are all challenges to the traditional magazines.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks of credibility. Regardless of who the author is, he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore many aspects of his or her conclusion. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should give more evidences about the above-mentioned possibilities.
summary：总体而言，楼主的这篇a还是不错的，除了文中出现的一些小小的语法错误和瑕疵之外。另外，对于楼主的结尾的方式，个人觉得不是特别的出采，看看能否做些小小的改动。