0910AW 同主题写作第一期 ISSUE13 by akong

akongworldUID：2607594

In this rapidly developing society, internationalization has pervaded into every aspect. To adapt to it , people begin to study English and other popular languages , which , inevitable , lead to some kind of language loss. Government , as the institution to protect its culture, imperatively needs to highlight the emphasis on protecting those languages from disappearing, since language represents the most glamorous culture.
Language is the marrow of human culture, people relies on it to communication, to create history, and to certify their existence. But it is the marrow that has been facing a rapid loss rate. According to the statistics, half of the present languages will disappear till next century, and that means that a language has being lost per 50 days. How can human never be appalled in front of such a loss?
Admittedly, the evolution theory can never be ignored, and it is inevitable that many things, include animal, even human categories will disappear sooner or latter. But in front of it, what we can do is try best to prevent it from happening in the largest scale. Especially for our government ,it is not necessary to one of them to control the world loss, the only thing it need to do is to encourage native citizens to emphasis on lesser-known languages and realize the serious situation. Before American land was found , there were amount of Indian tribes, as the host of the land, created plentiful kind of languages and culture of their own, which, regretfully, have been disappeared for many years since American began to develop. Many anthropologists appeal to protect them by government's immediate measures and people's broadly notice. We have to admit that the serious situation has been kindly improved, since many people are encouraged by government's patronage to learn those languages or just want to protect them with their little but sincere power.
The consequence of language loss is severe. People create the language to communicate, to express their feelings and to treasure their culture, even though there is no script. When you hear the language belongs to your own nation, you will not only feel familiar but honor. It represents the most basic emotion of a person and a society.
Dislike Chinese and English which are the most common language can be heard everywhere, the dialect shows the particularly root of a person which can never be deprived. In China , there are 56 kind of minorities, some of which have no literature at all. But they still hold the cohesion because when all of them are recognized as an integrity, shares a special culture only belongs to themselves. Thus the only way for them to continue the culture is the language. What if the young generation loses their interest of the native language because of those languages which are widely recognized? Can there be any cohesion? Obviously , each of us don't want to focus on a language only when it lays in the museum and history book. No body can insure that researches on those languages can be deeply and thoroughly.
Then the imperative task of government is to encourage public to sustain the dangerous languages by supplying prime study conditions, funding the research of those language ,or appeal everyone to respect their own language and treat it as not only a method to communicate but as a treasure. In large part, government's support always holds the biggest influence to public.
In sum, protection was not a dispensable task, lesser-known languages should be pay more attention because they are so fragile. It's time for government to show its basic significance, that is, to protect the culture and continue a sustainable society.

akongworldUID：2607594

很多，很多地方需要改进......但是实在是水平有限的说...希望大家能多多批评！！
一定不要客气哈.....
小女子不胜感激！

akongworldUID：2607594

In this rapidly developing society, internationalization has pervaded into every aspect. To adapt to it , people begin to study English and other popular languages , which , inevitable , lead to some kind of language loss. Government , as the institution to protect its culture, imperatively needs to highlight the emphasis on protecting those languages from disappearing, since language represents the most glamorous culture.
Language is the marrow of human culture, people relies on it to communication, to create history, and to certify their existence. But it is the marrow that has been facing a rapid loss rate. According to the statistics, half of the present languages will disappear till next century, and that means that a language has being lost per 50 days. How can human never be appalled in front of such a loss?
Admittedly, the evolution theory can never be ignored, and it is inevitable that many things, include animal, even human categories will disappear sooner or latter. But in front of it, what we can do is try best to prevent it from happening in the largest scale. Especially for our government ,it is not necessary to one of them to control the world loss, the only thing it need to do is to encourage native citizens to emphasis on lesser-known languages and realize the serious situation. Before American land was found , there were amount of Indian tribes, as the host of the land, created plentiful kind of languages and culture of their own, which, regretfully, have been disappeared for many years since American began to develop. Many anthropologists appeal to protect them by government's immediate measures and people's broadly notice. We have to admit that the serious situation has been kindly improved, since many people are encouraged by government's patronage to learn those languages or just want to protect them with their little but sincere power.
The consequence of language loss is severe. People create the language to communicate, to express their feelings and to treasure their culture, even though there is no script. When you hear the language belongs to your own nation, you will not only feel familiar but honor. It represents the most basic emotion of a person and a society.
Dislike Chinese and English which are the most common language can be heard everywhere, the dialect shows the particularly root of a person which can never be deprived. In China , there are 56 kind of minorities, some of which have no literature at all. But they still hold the cohesion because when all of them are recognized as an integrity, shares a special culture only belongs to themselves. Thus the only way for them to continue the culture is the language. What if the young generation loses their interest of the native language because of those languages which are widely recognized? Can there be any cohesion? Obviously , each of us don't want to focus on a language only when it lays in the museum and history book. No body can insure that researches on those languages can be deeply and thoroughly.
Then the imperative task of government is to encourage public to sustain the dangerous languages by supplying prime study conditions, funding the research of those language ,or appeal everyone to respect their own language and treat it as not only a method to communicate but as a treasure. In large part, government's support always holds the biggest influence to public.
In sum, protection was not a dispensable task, lesser-known languages should be pay more attention because they are so fragile. It's time for government to show its basic significance, that is, to protect the culture and continue a sustainable society.

greenxsUID：2529289

In this rapidly developing society, internationalization has pervaded into every aspect. To adapt to it , people begin to study English and other popular languages , which , inevitable ,最好不要这么多的逗号 lead to some kind of language loss. Government , as the institution to protect its culture, imperatively needs to highlight the emphasis on protecting those languages from disappearing, since language represents the most glamorous culture.
Language is the marrow of human culture, people relies on it to communication, to create history, and to certify their existence. But it is the marrow that has been facing a rapid loss rate. According to the statistics, half of the present languages will disappear till next century, and that means（ that） a language has being lost per 50 days. How can human never be appalled in front of such a loss?
Admittedly, the evolution theory can never be ignored, and it is unavoidable that many things, include animal, even human categories will disappear sooner or latter. But in front of it, what we can do is try best to prevent it from happening in the largest scale. Especially for our government ,it is not necessary to（for） one of them to control the world loss, the only thing it need to do is to encourage native citizens to emphasis on lesser-known languages and realize the serious situation. Before American land was found , there were amount of Indian tribes, as the host of the land, 这缺一个主语created plentiful kind of languages and culture of their own, which, regretfully, have been disappeared for many years since American began to develop. Many anthropologists appeal to protect them by government's immediate measures and people's broadly notice.不是平行结构了 We have to admit that the serious situation has been kindly improved, since many people are encouraged by government's patronage to learn those languages or just want to protect them with their little but sincere power.
The consequence of language loss is severe. People create the language to communicate, to express their feelings and to treasure their culture, even though there is no script. When you hear the language belongs to your own nation, you will not only feel familiar but honor. It represents the most basic emotion of a person and a society.
Dislike Chinese and English which are the most common languages can be heard everywhere, the dialect shows the particularly root of a person which can never be deprived. In China , there are 56 kind of minorities, some of which have no literature at all. But they still hold the cohesion because when all of them are recognized as an integrity, and shares a special culture only belongs to themselves. Thus the only way for them to continue the culture is the language. What if the young generation loses their interests of the native language because of those languages which are widely recognized? Can there be any cohesion? Obviously , each of us don't最好不要使用缩写 want to focus on a language only when it lays in the museum and history book. No body can insure that researches on those languages can be deeply and thoroughly.
Then the imperative task of the government is to encourage public to sustain the dangerous languages by supplying prime study conditions, funding the research of those language ,or appeal everyone to respect their own language and treat it as not only a method to communicate but as a treasure. In large part, government's support always holds the biggest influence to public.
In sum, protection was not a dispensable task, lesser-known languages should be pay more attention because they are so fragile. It's time for government to show its basic significance, that is, to protect the culture and continue a sustainable society.
写的挺好的，应该不是第一篇issue吧，中间有一些像which , inevitable ,这样的表达，我不太清楚是不是能加强句子的结构。
我是你的上上楼，欢迎回改~~~~


fighting~

3# akongworld

rainyashleyUID：2538965

1# akongworld


In this rapidly developing society, internationalization(用globalization会不会好点？)has pervaded into every aspect. To adapt to it , people begin to study English and other popular languages , which , inevitable , lead to some kind of language loss. （这个判断现在就给出会不会武断了点？）Government , as the institution to protect its culture, imperatively needs to highlight the emphasis on protecting those languages from disappearing, since language represents the most glamorous culture.（第一段我觉得观点表示不大明确。特别是题目所属，并不是因为大家都去学英语或别的语言而导致小语种的丢失。如果要写这个因素，我觉得放到后面的具体论证部分会不会更合适？还有，题目对于government有定义，而本文第一段里体现得不明显。）
Language is the marrow（essence或者quintessence） of human culture, people relies on it to communication, to create history, and to certify their existence. But it is the marrow that has been facing a rapid loss rate. （我把上面那句改了一下：Languages, which people relies on to communicate with each other, to create human history, and even to certify their existence, now have been confronting a situation that language is rapidly lost by less people's using although it is the quintessence of the human culture.不知道这样写对不对，我也不大会遣词造句，有些语法也不好，你可以看一下，因为我总觉得上面那个句子有些散。）According to the statistics, half of the present languages will disappear till next century, and that （which）means that a language has being lost per 50 days.
How can human never be appalled in front of such a loss?（这段叙述了语言消失的现象，并且提供了数据做例子，蛮好的。）
Admittedly, the evolution theory can never be ignored,（我觉得最好不要提进化论，因为我在上新东方的时候，老师说过提到进化论是一个负评价，好像进化论已经被否定了。我是学文科的不大了解。但我觉得能避免就避免，是吧？其实可以说成，时代的淘汰，只有适应时代的，才能被保留。跟这个意思应该蛮像的。） and it is inevitable that many things, include animal, even human categories will disappear sooner or latter. But in front of it, what we can do is (是不是应该有个to？不然is和动词原形try连用？)try best to prevent it from happening in the largest scale. （But the most important is that we should devote ourselves to prevent such situation from happening in the large scale.）Especially for our government ,it is not necessary（unnecessary）
to one of them to control the world loss（这句我没看懂...）, the only thing it need to do is to encourage native citizens to emphasis on lesser-known languages and realize the serious situation. （我觉得加个过渡词会好些Consider， for example，before American...）Before American land was found (by Columbus), there were amount of Indian tribes, as（可以不要，后面直接是同位语） the host of the land, created plentiful kind（kinds） of languages and culture of their own, which, regretfully, have been（had） disappeared for many years since American began to develop. Many anthropologists appeal to protect them by government's immediate measures and people's broadly notice. We have to admit that the serious situation has been kindly improved, since many people are encouraged by
government's patronage
to learn those languages
（if many people want to learn those languages with government's patronage ）or just want to protect them with their little but sincere power.（这段是说我们为什么要保护小语种是么？我觉得展开的还不够，可以再说一些。比如语言是文化的代表，失去一种语言，我们就失去了了解这种文化的渠道，等等。不过这段的例子还是蛮好的。）
The consequence of language loss is severe. People create the language to communicate, to express their feelings and to treasure their culture, even though there is no script. When you hear the language （which）belongs to your own nation, you will not only feel familiar but （be）honor（of it）. It represents the most basic emotion of a person and a society.（这段应该说的是保护小语种的重要性。但我还是觉得有些单薄，没有展开。）
Dislike Chinese and English which are the most common language（这个地方有点绝对，我们忽略了Spanish 。） can be heard everywhere, the dialect shows the particularly root of a person （是be deprived of。所以，是不是应该给which前加of？）
which can never be deprived. In China , there are 56 kind of minorities（额，同学，我想说是55个少数民族，56个民族。呵呵）, some of which have no literature at all. But they still hold the cohesion because when all of them are recognized as an integrity, shares a special culture（which） only belongs to themselves.Thus the only way for them to continue the culture is the language. （这个only way会不会太绝对，有什么可以证明呢？这个例子也可以写成：每个民族都有自己的语言，尽管中国在全国推广普通话，但这并不与保护方言相悖。相反国家还提出要保护方言。我用的就是这个方面，但是我觉得你在例子的表述方面比我好多了！向你学习！）What if the young generation loses their interest of the native language because of those languages which are widely recognized?（是不是说反了？） Can there be any cohesion? Obviously , each of us don't want to focus on a language only when it lays in the museum and history book. No body can insure that researches on those languages can be deeply and thoroughly.（这段是举例说明我们应该保护小语种。我觉得这段说的还是蛮好的。除了个别有点绝对以外。）
Then the imperative task of government is to encourage public to sustain the dangerous languages by supplying prime study conditions, funding the research of those language ,or appeal everyone to respect their own language and treat it as not only a method to communicate but as（去掉） a treasure. In large part, government's support always holds the biggest influence to public.
In sum, protection was not a dispensable task, lesser-known languages should be pay more attention because they are so fragile. It's time for government to show its basic significance, that is, to protect the culture and continue a sustainable society.（这段说了政府应该如何保护，我觉得这个地方展开的不够，也就是措施及各方面因素说得不够。另外界外提到政府要采取措施，算是文章开头对应。）

我觉得你的文章用词还蛮好的，有些单词很到位，也有一定难度，这点是我绝对要学习的，我的用词，表达都比较贫乏，也用不了一节高档次的词。另外，文章还是有一定逻辑的，从小语种消失的现象，到为什么要保护小语种，还有保护小语种的重要性，知道最后政府要如何保护。
我觉得不足就是一些句子的表达存在于法和句意上的错误，句子之间的逻辑性不太强。另外就是文章好像一直忽略了题目中government界定。还有一些该展开的没有展开，我觉得在分析的时候是不是可以加上小语种逐渐消失的原因呢？这个你只在第一段提过，后面就再没提了。
我的水平不高，表达能力也不好。后来加入别的小组，就忽视了这边同主题写作，所以一直没有给你改，实在是对不起，直到版版发站内才知道。改得不好，言多必失，勿怪哈！~~O(∩_∩)O~~
欢迎回改哦！~~~