Argument173 By tracywlz

tracywlzUID: 2522388

TOPIC: ARGUMENT173 - The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."


This argument seems logically at first sight whist after anyone careful checking, several false existing. The speaker draws the conclusion from three aspects: the poor selling of international news stories' cover magazine; the action of Newsbeat's opponent; and the raising cost of maintaining foreign bureaus. Notwithstanding, every evidence the author adopts has seriously fault and I will discuss each of them in turn.

To begin with, even supposing the conclusion that international edition are truly having the lowest sell marks in Newsbeat, the speaker did not mentioned the sell grade of others and instead unfairly assuming all of them are excessively high. However, all parts of Newsbeat's selling may extremely low and the sell of international news cover magazine just was a little pony than them. Meanwhile, what evidence the assay talking about is just over the past three years, and the considering time is too short to convince people to believe it is not an accident for international cover magazine. Therefore, in short, beginning the poorest of them can not surely leading to be cut down.

Moreover, the speaker refers to the competitor's measures, which have decreased the number of story on the cover of international news. Nevertheless, he unfairly ignores an underlying question-do the two companies are totally homology in this issue. Definitely not, even in a same circumstance, the self-diversity of two magazines can lead to a polarity outcome with a same measure. Even we can ignore the differentia, less cover story does not mean less emphasis. It may likely happen that the international news are being attached more importance through scrupulous checking and electing the elite. Meanwhile, the author does not mention the results of the rival’s measure. Maybe the selling record is rapidly dropping down so if the Newsbeat decide to imitate the opponent’s step, the consequence may not be optimistic.

Thirdly, the increasing funds on international news cannot indicate focusing on international news is of less value than do the same thing to others. It may usually happen that the whole cost of news are rapidly accelerated and comparing with others, the international news is cheaper and worthy. Therefore, decreasing a less cost program will be stupid if the essential source of waste have not been solved.

Last but not the least, seeing from the whole article, no evidence can ensure the descending of selling is all derived from the international cover’s strategy the magazine used to take. Maybe it was not the international news edit group’s fault, but the printer's bulge. Even the possibility can befell that the print company are not serious to Newsbeat's task when facing the international news due to their own printers are not care about them! It seems ridiculous but actually happened. Thus, even if the three evidences in former paragraphs have no fallacy, no one can directly draw the final conclusion to let Newsbeat decrease their international fund without other strongly proof

In sum, as a publisher of an important news magazine, the author is supposed to find more details and think cogently to hold his opinions.
5月底写的。今天重新修改。事隔3个月后的第一篇A

GenevUID: 2543794

This argument seems logically at first sight whist after anyone careful checking, several false existing. (/while several faults are found in it after careful check.) The speaker (/author) draws the conclusion from three aspects: the poor selling (performance) of international news stories' cover magazine (/magazine issues with international news stories on the cover); the action of Newsbeat's opponent (/competitors); and the raising (/rising) cost of maintaining foreign bureaus. Notwithstanding, every evidence the author adopts (/cites) has seriously fault(s) and I will discuss each of them in turn.

To begin with, even supposing (the conclusion - deleted) that international edition(s) are truly having the lowest sell(ing) marks in Newsbeat, the speaker (/author) did not mentioned the sell grade of others and instead unfairly assuming (/assumed) all of them are excessively high. However, all parts of Newsbeat's selling may (/might be) extremely low and the sell(ing) of international news cover magazine just was a little pony(?) than them. Meanwhile, what evidence (/the evidence) the assay (/essay) talking about is just over the past three years, and the considering time (/this time span) is too short to convince people to believe (/that) it is not an accident (/coincidence) for international cover magazine. Therefore, in short, beginning (/being) the poorest of them can not surely leading to be cut down (/justify the proposed cutdown).

Moreover, the speaker (/author) refers to the competitor's measures, which have decreased the number of story (/stories) on the cover of international news. Nevertheless, he unfairly ignores an underlying question-do the two companies are totally homology (/comparable) in this issue. (/?)
Definitely (/Maybe) not, even in a (/the) same circumstance, the self-diversity of two magazines can lead to a polarity outcome with a (/the) same measure. Even we can ignore the differentia, less cover story does (/stories do) not mean less emphasis (necessarily). It may likely happen that the international news are being attached more importance through scrupulous checking and electing the elite (/check and highlight). Meanwhile, the author does not mention the results of the rival’s measure. Maybe (as the result) the selling record is rapidly dropping down so if the Newsbeat decide to imitate the opponent’s step, the consequence may not be optimistic.

Thirdly, the increasing funds on international news cannot indicate focusing on international news is of less value than do the same thing to others. It may usually happen that the whole cost(s) of (reporting) news are rapidly accelerated (/increased) and comparing (/compared) with others, the international news is cheaper and worthy (/worthier). Therefore, decreasing a less cost(ful) program will be stupid if the essential source of waste have not been solved (/has not been identified and handled).

Last but not the least, seeing (/seen) from the whole article, no evidence can ensure the descending of selling (is - deleted) all derived from the international cover’s strategy the magazine used to take. Maybe it was not the international news edit group’s fault, but the printer's bulge (?). Even the possibility can befell that the print company are not serious to Newsbeat's task when facing the international news due to their own printers are not care about them! It seems ridiculous but actually happened (/might have happened). Thus, even if the three evidences in former paragraphs have no fallacy, no one can directly draw the final conclusion to let Newsbeat decrease their international fund without other strongly proof.
这个可能的理由不够convincing。

In sum, as a publisher of an important news magazine, the author is supposed to find more details and think cogently to hold his opinions (/to lend firm ground to his suggestions).
5月底写的。今天重新修改。事隔3个月后的第一篇A


段落结构比较清楚，字数也可以，语言需要加强，另外，应当学会用专业词汇表达逻辑错误，比如本文的一个主要错误在于confusing concurrence with causality.


加油：）

发贴后颜色不能显示，可以下附件看。

tracywlzUID: 2522388

先谢谢。今天第一件事。看G的修改。嗯嗯。语言。我的语言呐。没有字典。一无是处。

感觉有些词如果要我单写。即写句子还是知道用得。但是放到作文中。怎么就没词了呢？写太少了。太懒了啊。
还是停留在要你帮我改语言的层次上。唉。这几个月的效率太低了。看了不少东西。可又有多少属于自己的呢？

嗯。我724考AW。624考完期考。1个月时间语言还有救么？如此多的错误暴露在ETS考官面前。我是送钱的来。

话说范文还没好好看的。对。现在第一目标。好好研究A范文~

争取在这周日前把自己的修改稿发上来。一定的，不是争取！

tracywlzUID: 2522388

修改稿。准确说是前2段的。拖了太久了。还有3天才能摆脱可恶的考试。

This argument seems logically at first sight while several faults are found in it after carefully checking. The author draws the conclusion from three aspects: the poor performance of magazine with international news stories on the cover; the action of Newsbeat's competitor; and the rising cost of maintaining foreign bureaus. Notwithstanding, every evidence the author cites has seriously fault and I will discuss each of them in turn.

To begin with, the author’s according relies on a logic thinking that confused concurrence with causality. Even supposing the conclusion that international news stories are truly having the lowest selling marks in Newsbeat, the author did not mentioned the selling grade of other stories and instead unfairly assuming all of them are excessively high. However, all parts of Newsbeat's selling might be extremely low and the sell of international news cover magazine just was a little lower than them. Meanwhile, what evidence the assay talking about is just over the past three years, and the considering time is too short to convince people to believe it is not an accident for international cover magazine. Therefore, in short, beginning the poorest of them can not surely leading to be cut down.


违背承诺了。对的。可是我实在没精力再仔细看下去了。这考试把我折磨的~