0910AW 同主题写作第七期 ARGUMENT167 by xdjtf

xdjtfUID: 2615699

A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.
*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology

The conclusion mentioned above seems at first glance obviously resonable and convincing. The therapy of this folk remedy using the scent of lavender flowers seemingly proves to be effective in light of the experimental process, for it releases the sympotons of the insomania. However, as far as i am concenred, this recent study is not flawless and its validility is doubtful.

In the first place, there are merely 30 volunteers to participate in this study, from the statistical perspective, there are probably thounsands of people suffering from the insomnia and the sample which is consisted of only 30 individuals is not statistically sufficient engough to prove assumption which is that this remedy is effective in this study, that is, the experiment result may be attributable to those paticular individuals and the generalization may not be applicable to most insomnia patients. In the second place, even if this sample is convincing, this experiment does not necessarily imply the noticeble healing effect of this folk remedy. The volunteers who are afflicted by the insomnia take the usual sleeping medication in the first week; this will undoubtedly affect the final result because we can not differentiate whether the cure effect is raised by the lavender-scented pillows or this medication. In the third place, this study concludes the healing effect of the larvender flower scent according to the symptoms,like the soundness of their sleeping and the tireness they feel after waking, refelected by these patients. However, these symptoms may not solely be influenced by the disease but may be caused by many other factors like their psychological or physical status as well. Meanwhile, the author merely evaluates the degree of the insomnia based on whether they sleep soundly and how long they have slept, however, it does not take how much time these patients require to sleep into consideration, which means these volunteers who appear to have more sound and longer sleep may need more time to comfortably fall asleep and therefore it is not a gratifying evidence to assert the insomnia is cured. Finally, this study simply observes the conditions of these volunteers during three weeks, which probably is not persuasive engough to illustrate the effectiveness of this pillow replete with larvender flower scent. In other words, these patients may turn back to their previous sleeping status or even worse from the forth week onwards.

In sum, the author of this article just wants to introduce an alternative and assumingly effective folk remedy to these insomnia patients to relieve their inflictions. However, without logically discret study to successfully prove it is truly effective, it may be misleading and more dangerous.

DidoyUID: 2181213

The conclusion mentioned above seems at first glance obviously resonable and convincing （同样，seems, at first glance, obviously累赘了）. The therapy of this folk remedy using the scent of lavender flowers seemingly proves to be effective in light of the experimental process, for it releases the sympotons of the insomania. However, as far as i am concenred, this recent study is not flawless and its validility is doubtful.

In the first place, there are merely 30 volunteers to participate in this study；however， from the statistical perspective, there are probably thounsands of people suffering from the insomnia and the sample which is consisted of only 30 individuals is not statistically sufficient engough to prove assumption which is that this remedy is effective in this study （把in this study去掉，因为后文说了其缺陷就在study以外的generalization不一定有效）, that is, the experiment result may be attributable to those paticular individuals but not the generalization of most insomnia patients. （不知道这是不是你的得意之句啊~~还是挺有水平的啊~~）

In the second place, even if this sample is convincing, this experiment does not necessarily imply the noticeble healing effect of this folk remedy. The volunteers who are afflicted by the insomnia take the usual sleeping medication in the first week; this will undoubtedly affect the final result because we can not differentiate whether the cure effect is raised by the lavender-scented pillows or this medication.

In the third place, this study concludes the healing effect of the larvender flower scent according to the symptoms,like the soundness of their sleeping and the tireness they feel after waking, refelected by these patients. However, these symptoms may not solely be influenced by the disease but may be caused by many other factors like their psychological or physical status as well. Meanwhile, the author merely evaluates the degree of the insomnia based on whether they sleep soundly and how long they have slept；however, it does not take the time these patients require to sleep into consideration, which means these volunteers who appear to have more sound and longer sleep may need more time to comfortably fall asleep, and therefore it is not a gratifying evidence to assert the insomnia is cured.

Finally, this study simply observes the conditions of these volunteers during three weeks, which probably is not persuasive engough to illustrate the effectiveness of this pillow replete with larvender flower scent. In other words, these patients may turn back to their previous sleeping status or even worse from the forth week onwards.

In sum, the author of this article just wants to （just wants to 换成tries to比较好）introduce an alternative and assumingly effective folk remedy to these insomnia patients to relieve their inflictions. However, without logically discret study to successfully prove it is truly effective, it may be misleading and more dangerous （it maybe misleading and cause more danger, misleading和dangerous主被动不同）.

这一篇的论点的安排比上一篇工整清晰很多，赞！还是一样，LZ的想法和论点很多，合理安排会有更好的效果。：）

xdjtfUID: 2615699

2# Didoy
谢谢指点，收获很多啊~