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[i习作temp] Issue157 @@A DREAM@@第三次作业 kren_crazy [复制链接]

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AW小组活动奖

发表于 2009-6-19 23:59:02 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 kren_crazy 于 2009-6-22 00:16 编辑

Human beings are created to be emotional. As the author acclaiming, when we are dealing with things we always guided by our expectation or desires. However, the author did not telling the whole truth and we observe things objectively either.

It is no doubt that we are human beings but not the machine which just acts according to the programmed procedures without thinking, wondering and expecting and we are gifted of being subjective. Sometimes someone's feelings go like that "Although it is wonderful sunny day, it is gloomy rain in eyes." Some may surprise to ask “why it happens?” It is our mood which is the subjective factor that tell the story. More or less, it seems to provide evidence to illustrate the attitude which is provided by the topic. In fact, he has already accepted the truth of the sunny day although he is gloomy. In this case, it can not say his observation is guided by his mood.

However, we can not just emphasis on the subjective factors when we adopt our observation but the objective ones that make our work go forward properly. Because the existence of our world is real and objective and one of the functions of human's brain is to reflect the real world in the form of awareness. In the area of scientific realm, one of the most important things is objective observation and then gaining objective data. Supposing, if the data are created just through unreasonable thinking and it is not actually telling what the reality it is, how the scientists who are using these data look insight of the nature, let alone to use the principles of nature to instruct inventions of advanced instrument. What's more, the common sense tells us that scientist usually probe in unknown areas and the result may turn out to be totally different and beyond their understanding. Is it their expectations that guide their observation? If so, why so many scientists do their researches from day to night untiringly but not just stay in bed to produce an optimal expectation to cleared away the obstacles quickly; if so, the owner of the Nobel Price, Maria Curie needn't take dozens of years to refine tons of pitch to gain only several grams of radioactive substance; if so, Thomas Edison needn't try thousands of kinds of materials to make bulbs work longer. Undoubtedly, the result turns out to be preposterous.

On the other hand, in the realm of business, investors can not make their decisions cursorily. Especially, during signing contract between two sides, the contract to sign need base on the common understanding. It is admittedly that each side wants to gain more advantages from this contract; however, it is just their benign willing. Beyond any side's expectations or desires, each side is prohibited to explain the contract in their separate ways through negotiations and then they sign the contract which is not the one they primarily expected. Here, each side can not treat the contract subjectively.

In conclusion, subjective factors such as expectation, mood and desires indeed cast the huge influences on our observation, however, the functions of them are not to determine or guide the objectivity of our observation.
no choice, but have to

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GRE斩浪之魂 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆

发表于 2009-6-21 09:36:15 |显示全部楼层

Human beings are created to be emotional. As the author acclaiming这里这样用似乎不是很常见啊, when we are dealing with things we always guided by our expectation or desires.(我觉得在AW里还是少用现在进行时把) However, the author did not telling(tell) the whole truth and we observe things objectively either(LZ这里加either让我不是很明白,是不是too???今天又看了一遍草木的fundamental writing course里面的关于thesis 的那节,那里面有提到说a strong thesis should be specific. 呃,这里似乎没有达到。)

It is no doubt that we are human beings but not the machine which just acts according to the programmed procedures without thinking, wondering and expecting and we are gifted of being subjective.这里在一些逻辑词上面好像有一些不是很准确,but 和第二个and Sometimes someone's feelings go like that "Although it is wonderful
(a) sunny day, it is gloomy rain in eyes." Some may surprise to ask “why it happens?” It is our mood which is the subjective factor that tell the story. More or less, it seems to provide evidence to illustrate the attitude which is provided by the topic. In fact, he has already accepted the truth of the sunny day although he is gloomy. In this case, it can not say his observation is guided by his mood.( In fact 后面这两句话是什么意思???不懂~~~~困惑)

However, we can not just emphasis on the subjective factors when we adopt our observation but the objective ones that make our work go forward(这句话我不是很理解啊
not
but
还是not only but also 句型??). Because the existence of our world is real and objective and one of the functions of human's brain is to reflect the real world in the form of awareness. In the area of scientific realm, one of the most important things is objective observation and then gaining这里不适合用进行时) objective data. Supposing, if the data are created just through unreasonable 我觉得这里用词不是很准确题目中说的expectation and desire并不是unreasonable 啊)thinking and it is not actually telling what the reality it is, how the scientists who are using一样的问题~~~用一般现在时会好的多~ these data look insight of the nature, let alone to use the principles of nature to instruct inventions of advanced instrument. What's more, the common sense tells us that scientist usually probe in unknown areas and the result may turn out to be totally different and beyond their understanding. Is it their expectations that guide their observation? If so, why so many scientists do their researches from day to night untiringly but not just stay in bed to produce an optimal expectation to cleared away the obstacles quickly; if so, the owner of the Nobel Price, Maria Curie needn't take dozens of years to refine tons of pitch to gain only several grams of radioactive substance; if so, Thomas Edison needn't try thousands of kinds of materials to make bulbs work longer.很赞这几句话的语言,真的很不错啊!!!不过我觉得这里你更加清楚的说明他们的期望和results之间的差距就更好了,就是他们在之前是想验证什么东西的,带着这样的期望去做的,但是observation 之后,却得到了另外的一个结果。而这几句话让我更觉得是在论证他们成功需要付出很艰辛的努力,还有就是总是觉得这些例子并不是很适合~~因为从你的这些例子中,我还可以说正是因为observation 没有符合他们的expectation and desire 他们才继续努力研究的,最后达到了their desire的。所以observation guided by the expectation and desireUndoubtedly, the result turns out to be preposterous.
On the other hand, in the realm of business, investors can not make their decisions cursorily用词不是很准确). Especially, during signing contract between two sides, the contract to sign need base on the common understanding这句话语法错误,有两个谓语动词~~~. It is admittedly that each side wants to gain more advantages from this contract; however, it is just their benign willing. Beyond any side's expectations or desires, each side is prohibited to explain the contract in their separate ways through negotiations and then they sign the contract which is not the one they primarily expected.我觉得这里并不能很好的证明,虽然会有差距,但是总不会差的很多吧,大体上的原则他们在签的时候应该不会让步把~~~ Here, each side can not treat the contract subjectively.
In conclusion, subjective factors such as expectation, mood and desires indeed cast the huge influences on our observation, however, the functions of them are not to determine or guide the objectivity of our observation.

总评:我觉得LZ的思维很有创造性,很新颖,很宽阔,从你举得例子就可以看出来。个人的意见,如果能够可以更加紧密的围绕着论点,更加有力的去论证会更好的多。还有LZ在时态,语法,逻辑上面要多注意一点,在AW里面不是很适合用现在时的,而lz似乎很喜欢用,语法上也要多努力把(我也一样),一起加油吧!
PS:仅仅只是个人的意见,自己也不是很懂,多交流把~~

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发表于 2009-6-22 11:06:05 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 nicoleq 于 2009-6-22 11:08 编辑



Human beings are created to be emotional. As the author acclaiming, when we are dealing with things we always guided by our expectation or desires. However, the author did not telling the whole truth and we observe things objectively either.
It is no doubt that we are human beings but not the machine which just acts according to the programmed procedures without thinking, wondering and expecting and we are gifted of being subjective. Sometimes someone's feelings go like that "Although it is wonderful sunny day, it is gloomy rain in eyes." Some may surprise to ask “why it happens?” It is our mood which is the subjective factor that tells the story. More or less, it seems to provide evidence to illustrate the attitude which is provided by the topic. In fact, he has already accepted the truth of the sunny day although he is gloomy. In this case, it can not say his observation is guided by his mood.(小例子好,娓娓动听~哈,先表扬下,接着:批啦~例子说already accepted the truth。想表达什么?存在客观客观观察,只是有时会赋予主观色彩?这样说开头的句子貌似不贴切了)

However, we can not just emphasis on the subjective factors when we adopt our observation but the objective ones that make our work go forward properly. Because the existence of our world is real and objective and one of the functions of human's brain is to reflect the real world in the form of awareness. In the area of scientific realm, one of the most important things is objective observation and then gaining objective data. Supposing, if the data are created just through unreasonable thinking and it is not actually telling what the reality it is, (这里是一句话么?怎么感觉可以使两句话呢)how the scientists who are using these data look insight of the nature, let alone to use the principles of nature to instruct inventions of advanced instrument. What's more, the common sense tells us that scientist usually probe in unknown areas and the result may turn out to be totally different and beyond their understanding. Is it their expectations that guide their observation? If so, why so many scientists do their researches from day to night untiringly but not just stay in bed to produce an optimal expectation to cleared away the obstacles quickly; if so, the owner of the Nobel Price, Maria Curie needn't take dozens of years to refine tons of pitch to gain only several grams of radioactive substance; if so, Thomas Edison needn't try thousands of kinds of materials to make bulbs work longer. Undoubtedly, the result turns out to be preposterous.
On the other hand, in the realm of business, investors can not make their decisions cursorily. Especially, during signing contract between two sides, the contract to sign need base on the common understanding. It is admittedly that each side wants to gain more advantages from this contract; however, it is just their benign willing. Beyond any side's expectations or desires, each side is prohibited to explain the contract in their separate ways through negotiations and then they sign the contract which is not the one they primarily expected. Here, each side can not treat the contract subjectively. (本段开始看了好几行都感觉和题目关系不大,最后一句话有点用)
In conclusion, subjective factors such as expectation, mood and desires indeed cast the huge influences on our observation, however, the functions of them are not to determine or guide the objectivity of our observation.

黎明到来之前 我不怕坚守在漫长的黑夜 !

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发表于 2009-6-22 11:10:34 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 kren_crazy 于 2009-6-22 00:16 编辑
⊙﹏⊙b汗  你上面的帖子格式有改正确么~~~?
黎明到来之前 我不怕坚守在漫长的黑夜 !

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RE: Issue157 @@A DREAM@@第三次作业 kren_crazy [修改]

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