0910G 同主题写作第八期 ARGUE101 NTL小组 By 雪人糖糖

雪人糖糖UID: 2631968

中慧的第一次AW！请大家多包涵！我们为了同一个梦聚在一起！NLT加油！

In this argument, the speaker concludes that in order to increase sales and company profits, they can fortify their product Wheat-O cereal with more soy protein, which, in their point, will appeal additional consumers who are concerned about their health. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer points out that a recent survey certifying subjects who ate soybeans at least five times per week had significantly lower cholesterol levels than subjects who ate no soy products. In addition, the arguer assumes that they will increase company profits by adding the sales of products. However, a close scrutiny of the arguement will reveal how groundless it is.


For one thing,there is no evidence certifying that soybean lower cholesterol because of protein it contains, meanwhile, even assuming it is protein embraced in soybean that reduce the level of cholesterol, which doesn’t mean that putting in soy protein will produce a salutary influence to everybody, maybe natural protein and artificial protein are distinctively different in effection. It is probably artificial protein which will not only be harmful to people’s health but also can neutralize useful things in bodies, in the end, it will do harm to body health. Moreover, the speaker overlooks an significant part in which cholesterol plays in people’s daily life. Medical research indicates that lower cholesterol doesn’t equal to better health, because cholesterol is the necessary ingredient which makes
up hormone in bodies.


For another thing, the author unreasonably assumes that people who are concerned with their health will buy Wheat-O, which can not totally convince me. Maybe people who care about their health is the youth that do not mind the lower cholesterol but care about other things, such as healthy life style. Thus, without more evidence to prove that people who care about their health is also mind their cholesterol level, the speaker can not safely draw any firm conclusion.


Last but not least, even if the above two assumptions can be proven true, the speaker can not assure that consumers will buy their products. In fact, maybe the production is too expensive to afford, there will be other products which are cheap and more healthy than this one. Thus, the speaker can not assume that their products will bring more profit to their company.


In sum, the recommendation is not sound as it stands. To strengthen it, the speaker should provide more evidence to prove that artificial soy protein is beneficial the same as natural protein to people’s health, and soybean lower cholesterol because of protein it has. To make the recommendation more convincing, the speaker should provide more information to prove that lower cholesterol is definitely harmful to people’ health. At the same time, the speaker should also provide more proof to testify that people will buy their product taking no account of the price.

雪人糖糖UID: 2631968

也不知道字为什么不一样！我怎么也改不了！将就看吧！

雪人糖糖UID: 2631968

中慧的处女作issue，憋了一天，到后来不争气的边写边哭。。。我知道自己写得很晦涩，牛头不对马嘴并且还有很多语法错误，写了一天实在思维混乱了，请见谅。。。
By the way, NTL加油！！！


Does the chief benefit of the study of history is to bend the rules that people in different period of times are significantly different from each other, as the speaker asserts? At the first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat appealing, but after clear thinking, I cannot totally agree with it any more.

There is no denying that people in different period of time have certain similarity because human evolution is a gradual development of history, as follows: basic human nature-our desires and motives, as well as our fears and other basic characteristics. Through the study of history, we can find out that we have something in common with our forefather such as society life, economy, literature, religions, which are more essential in our lives. They had social class, gape between rich and poor just like ours today, and some of them also lead an arduous life having no comfortable houses, struggling for livelihood the same as many of us today. Moreover, our ancestors in the past period of time also had dreams to pursue, the typical example is the hundred schools of thought contend in the period of Spring and Autumn, which played a paramount role in our history.

However, on the surface, people in different period time are significantly different, from my prospective, far from clearing the image, the essence of human nature is similar under different conditions in the role of the results. In terms of equity between person, the style of competition, alternative of political policy, all of which is the repetition of same question but different form.

Admittedly, there are other advantages to quest history, history brings our ancestor’s brilliant thought to us, which definitely helps us solve problems. To study history, especially the effects of humanity, we can not only discover mistakens we made before but also make fewer detours, which will bring progress and development of history and human society. Moreover, researching history is an understanding of law of human nature, which help us better planning our future.

Concluded from above, the study of the history which has many functions is not merely telling the similarity about people in different period but other significant things. Also, history has other important means to us.

panada-chenUID: 2614270

忍不住看了看，学习学习，楼主写的比我的好多了，惭愧！同时发现几个问题，可以探讨下：
argument里面：
第一段：
1、they can fortify their product Wheat-O cereal...这里的can改成should是否语气会更好点。
2、they will increase company profits by adding the sales of products.这与话是否存在点逻辑错误，应该是加入 soy protein来增加收入吧
第二段：
3、soybean lower cholesterol because of protein it contains.我认为soybean后面加一个情态动词could会更好点。
4、It is probably artificial protein which will not only be harmful to people’s health but also can neutralize useful things in bodies.这里的which应该删去，在probaly后添加that。
就这么多了，楼组的整体结构挺好的，像北美范文里面的

manioUID: 2581962

done!

雪人糖糖UID: 2631968

周末11半熄灯，马上就熄灯断网了，先传个改了的A,剩下的I一会改完明天早晨传。。。

雪人糖糖UID: 2631968

传上啦~

sara550827UID: 2549787

改得不好的地方一起讨论哦～嘿嘿～