argument112 by 贝拉拉狂想

贝拉拉狂想UID：2649512

112The following proposal was raised at a meeting of the Franklin City Council.

"Franklin Airport, which is on a bay, is notorious for flight delays. The airport management wants to build new runways to increase capacity but can only do so by filling in 900 acres of the bay. The Bay Coalition organization objects that filling in the bay will disrupt tidal patterns and harm wildlife. But the airport says that if it is permitted to build its new runways, it will fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay that have previously been damaged by industrialization. This plan should be adopted, for it is necessary to reduce the flight delays, and the wetlands restoration part of the plan ensures that the bay's environment will actually be helped rather than hurt."


This argument is established on a sound starting point, notwithstanding, hardly could it get the final conclusion through the means suggested by the author since it contains following flaws. It overlooked other possibilities which lead the flight delay in Franklin Airport. Moreover, whether the fund can do indeed reserve the local environment is open to question. These flaws undermine its final conclusion.

Does all of causes of flight delay in Frainkin Airport should ascribe to lacking runways? Obviously, that is not the case. Amount of alternative reasons, which included hardware and software condition in the airport, can contribute to this terrible consequence. Franklin Airport’s current hardware condition should be examined at first. Whether the waiting room is big enough to available every passenger waiting there in order to board on in time? If not, the plan has to wait for the passengers, thus taking off lately. In addition, whether the check-in service is convent to go through for passengers and the equipments are working in good condition with top efficiency? If not, it is possible in large degree that passengers cannot board on in time, and hamper the flight’s taking off. What’s more, some software conditions, which also can affect the efficiency of airport, should be examined undoubtedly. Such as, the proficiency of related skills of Franklin Airport’s worker. Ground crew need to check the plan carefully and thoroughly before it can take-off, if they do not receive necessary training regularly in certain time, their tradition skills will lag the speed of their work, so as delay the plan’s take-off. Even, it is logical that the airport may employed many new workers, who have not enough experience, so they cannot accomplish the work in time and have to let passengers wait. These alternative possibilities are soundly to see as elements which lead to the delay of the flight, therefore, without an all-rounded and thoroughly examination about the causes of the delay, the author’s suggestion seems lack consideration and towarding a wrong direction.

How long has this bad reputation sustained in Franklin Airport? How about these times’ weather condition? As we know, whether flight can take-off according to planned schedule depend largely upon the weather condition in that very time. Maybe latest month Franklin city is suffering harsh weather and it is impossible for its planes to take-off on time. Thus, if this horrible delay problem just emerged in latest months, when during bad weather condition, it is illogical to blame the Franklin Airport. If this is the case, the author’s conclusion is unnecessary and nonsense.

Even as the flight delay actually because of lacking runways, the plan cannot be supported since it will crate serious environmental problem which cannot be alleviate by the so-called fund. The distribution of tidal patterns will yield a great mount of serious environmental problems, although the Franklin Airport promises that they will fund restoration the industry damaged wetland, this behavior cannot avoid the detrimental affects post on the bay’s environment of the plan. Firstly, tidal patterns influence or even decides amounts of wildlife’s’ living rule, such as regular behavior, prey habit. If the pattern was changed, these animal might confront the danger of disorder of life and might cannot find food as usual. As the break of ecological circle, local environment would be harmed in a great degree. What’s more, the plan derivate the only habitat in which various wild animals relied on survival, and if the plan be carried out, these related wildlife would have to move to other places and leave bad influence to local environment. However, the Franklin Airport’s fund which used in the industries damaged wetland, survey it will do good to local environment, cannot resolve above problems. Since these two places belongs to different type of land and the wetland cannot serve as suitable dwelling for that wildlife’s. Therefore, the conclusion of the plan can help local environment is ridiculous.

After all, the plan is aiming at improving effeciency of Franklin Airport, this propose seems logical and sound. However, the author should make a thorough survey to discover the central fault which breed the delay of flight before making a plan. At the same time, providing an alternative solution, which is truly effective, towarding the consequent environmental disaster on the bay is necessary.

irvine666UID：2575525

This argument is established on a sound starting point, notwithstanding, hardly could it get the final conclusion through the means suggested by the author since it contains following flaws. It overlooked other possibilities which lead the flight delay in Franklin Airport. Moreover, whether the fund can do indeed(do就是强调了，indeed没必要) reserve the local environment is open to question. These flaws undermine its final conclusion.

Does all of causes of flight delay in Frainkin Airport should（语法，语法...） ascribe to lacking runways? Obviously, that is not the case（how did u know?这句话如果出现在A题目中的话绝对就是个破题点了...A要客观啊客观...）. Amount of alternative reasons, which included hardware and software condition（切记写下这句话的时候，意味着你要明白阅卷人看到这里的时候应该有想法了，且看你如何在后文分别论证hardware & software对航班延误的影响。） in the airport, can contribute to this terrible consequence. Franklin Airport’s current hardware condition should be examined at first. Whether the waiting room is big enough to available every passenger waiting there in order to board on in time? If not, the plan has to wait for the passengers, thus taking off lately. In addition, whether the check-in service is convent to go through for passengers and the equipments are working in good condition with top efficiency? If not, it is possible in large degree that passengers cannot board on in time, and hamper the flight’s taking off.（我不知道你坐过飞机没有，不过我倒是每年都坐4-6次。事实上航班延误和waiting room的大小是完全无关的，这点和坐火车不同。飞机都会提前40分钟check tickets，如果你超过时间（飞机起飞前40分钟）才到达机场，就算你有票也不能进去安检的，只能签转或者退票。而在乘客提前至少40分钟进入waiting room,提前15-20分钟就可以通过service进入飞机的前提下，check-in service和waiting room的问题导致飞机延误基本属于不可能事件。如果一定要说有什么hardware导致飞机延误，那么除了跑道过少最大的可能就是：机场起降非常频繁，“登机口”不够多导致飞机必须排队载客起降。这个原理就和繁忙的火车站的月台不够多一样。） What’s more, some software conditions（好吧，frihaday查了google说没这种说法，那我就顺便指出来一下。另外hardware condition绝大多数情况使用在计算机上，说机场的hardware有点中式表达了---恩，我没去过米国，R童鞋指出来的。）, which also can affect the efficiency of airport, should be examined undoubtedly. Such as, the proficiency of related skills of Franklin Airport’s worker（skills of worker=software condition?我糊涂了，要不你就直接把software换成faculty更好更直白）. Ground crew need to check the plan carefully and thoroughly before it can take-off, if they do not receive necessary training regularly in certain time, their tradition skills will lag the speed of their work, so as delay the plan’s take-off(这个很合理，但是和前面的software差了十万八千里，所以给人的印象就是思维混乱，前面说这个，后面说那个...). Even, it is logical that the airport may employed many new workers, who have not enough experience, so they cannot accomplish the work in time and have to let passengers wait.（我一点也不觉得这个logical，没经过培训没点经验刚招进来的workers机场就敢让他们去维修飞机？） These alternative possibilities are soundly to see as elements which lead to the delay of the flight, therefore, without an all-rounded and thoroughly examination about the causes of the delay, the author’s suggestion seems lack consideration and towarding a wrong direction.

How long has this bad reputation sustained in Franklin Airport? How about these times’ weather condition?（这个问的莫名其妙了，你觉得能够notorious是应该HOW LONG呢？至少不会是短时间内吧，那么所有的偶然情况都属于小概率事件，应当被排除，比如后面那个weather。试想如果一年或者几年这个地方都是长期的bad weather,谁当初会选在这种地方建飞机场呢？至少weather就不应当是notorious决定性的因素，因此我可以在这里就推断你下文的论述基本都是偏了） As we know, whether flight can take-off according to planned schedule depend largely upon the weather condition（果不其然提到了weather condition。他因应当尽可能的合理而非把小概率事件都拿出来。） in that very（越来越不合理了～） time. Maybe latest month Franklin city is suffering harsh weather and it is impossible for its planes to take-off on time. Thus, if this horrible delay problem just emerged in latest months, when during bad weather condition, it is illogical to blame the Franklin Airport. If this is the case, the author’s conclusion is unnecessary and nonsense.

Even as the flight delay actually because of lacking runways, the plan cannot be supported since it will crate（客观啊客观...还是那个问题：how did u know?） serious environmental problem which cannot be alleviate by the so-called fund. The distribution of tidal patterns will yield a great mount of serious environmental problems, although the Franklin Airport promises that they will fund restoration the industry damaged wetland, this behavior cannot avoid the detrimental affects post on the bay’s environment of the plan(这个还是比较在理的). Firstly, tidal patterns influence or even decides amounts of wildlife’s’ living rule, such as regular behavior, prey habit. If the pattern was changed, these animal might confront the danger of disorder of life and might cannot find food as usual. As the break of ecological circle, local environment would be harmed in a great degree（注意，对整个TS直接支持的一句话都没有，那么从firstly到这句话的所有话全部是铺垫性的描述，应当更加简明扼要，罗嗦的铺垫只会淡化你的重点。并且要能够尽快点明你铺垫这么多东西，和你要驳斥的作者的论述之间到底有什么关系？而非让读者自行去联系其中的逻辑关系...）. What’s more, the plan derivate(might derivate) the only habitat in which various wild animals relied on survival, and if the plan be carried out, these related wildlife would have to move to other places and leave bad influence to local environment. However, the Franklin Airport’s fund which used in the industries damaged wetland, survey it will do good to local environment（这是什么插入语?又是语法错误）, cannot resolve above problems. Since these two places belongs to different type of land and the wetland cannot serve as suitable dwelling for that wildlife’s. Therefore, the conclusion of the plan can help local environment is ridiculous.

After all, the plan is aiming at improving effeciency of Franklin Airport, this propose seems logical and sound. However, the author should make a thorough survey to discover the central fault which breed the delay of flight before making a plan. At the same time, providing an alternative solution, which is truly effective, towarding the consequent environmental disaster on the bay is necessary.