0910G[North America Flying]Issue 50 by c_king

c_kingUID: 2664896

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 514          TIME: 01:00:16          DATE: 2009-7-14 15:53:49
With the rapid development of morden sociaty , the concept of the most efficient method to proceed the whole teaching progress have changed in many aspects . More and more teachers and professors become to take participate in the firce discussion that whether the introductors should pay much attention to  work in a relevant real company  to  gain experience to irragate into their students' minds or not . And in my perspective , all facluty take part in to the outside practicing would have bad impacts on the adolescent in  wasting fund that could be much more valuable if used in other aspects , not having enough time to fulfill the teaching assignment and limiting the capacity of students' knowledge . This passage will analysis the topic in the following parts .
The first reason makes me to support the issue is that we can not deny the fact that not all the faculty needs to spend their spare time on company stuff . Some specialists in the certain aera are not designed for the immediately and apparent  function after the graduation ,and what they think is more important is the theroy  itself , not the reality in which ,to some extend , could not fully become true . What's more , this activity would cost a considerable amout of  money which could be used in other more efficent way to improve the qualitiy of the teaching process , such as purchase advanced teaching equipment , raise multiplied media methods .
Furthermore , since the professors are engaged in solving the problem caused by the company daily affairs , he has got not enough time to prepare for the classes which would have negative impacts on  the quality of the teaching programs. As my English Teacher for example , he  got an oppourtunity to interpret for a Britsh company in his spare time recently , and  changes have taken during our classes .  He would late for class for about 5 minutes , and leave class for company's stuff  5 minutes earlier than our students , during the teaching time he often makes unusual mistakes that turn his lessons into not cohent and well-prepared ones . As a result , our performance in the final examnation fell behind on the whole scale .
With the faculty working outside the academic world ,they have gained much practical skills in the revelant fields , and naturlly ,  the professors would pay much attention on the valuable parts of the textbook according their certain work experience  they engage in , which would ignore other aspects of the whole knowledge system undoubtfully .In this way , the capacity of students' academic extension is limited ,what`s more , if the junior do not take the certain job which thier teachers exactly did , they would be out of people's eyesight.
From what have been discussed above , it is not difficult to assert that the activity makes all faculty to take part in the outside world learning is not as suitable as it may be seen from the surface.

haunteagleUID: 2609432

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 514          TIME: 01:00:16          DATE: 2009-7-14 15:53:49

With the rapid development of morden(modern) society(society) , the concept of the most efficient method to proceed the whole teaching progress have changed in many aspects . More and more(强烈建议改用一个说法，strongly recommend) teachers and professors become to(可以删去) take participate in the firce(fierce) discussion that whether the introductors(instructor) should pay much attention to  work in a relevant real company  to  gain experience to irragate (irrigate)into their students' minds or not . And in my perspective, all faculty(faculty) take part in to the outside practicing would have bad impacts on the adolescent in  wasting fund that could be much more valuable if used in other aspects , not having enough time to fulfill the teaching assignment and limiting the capacity of students' knowledge . This passage wills analysis the topic in the following parts.

The first reason makes me to support the issue is that we can not deny the fact that not all the faculty needs to spend their spare time on company stuff . Some specialists in the certain aera are not designed for the immediately and apparent  function after the graduation ,and what they think is more important is the theroy  itself , not the reality in which ,to some extend , could not fully become true . What's more , this activity would cost a considerable amout of  money which could be used in other more efficent way to improve the qualitiy of the teaching process , such as purchase advanced teaching equipment , raise multiplied media methods .

Furthermore , since the professors are engaged in solving the problem caused by the company daily affairs , he has got not enough time to prepare for the classes which would have negative impacts on  the quality of the teaching programs. As my English Teacher for example , he  got an oppourtunity to interpret for a Britsh company in his spare time recently , and  changes have taken during our classes .  He would late for class for about 5 minutes , and leave class for company's stuff  5 minutes earlier than our students , during the teaching time he often makes unusual mistakes that turn his lessons into not cohent and well-prepared ones . As a result , our performance in the final examnation fell behind on the whole scale .

With the faculty working outside the academic world ,they have gained much practical skills in the revelant fields , and naturlly ,  the professors would pay much attention on the valuable parts of the textbook according their certain work experience  they engage in , which would ignore other aspects of the whole knowledge system undoubtfully .In this way , the capacity of students' academic extension is limited ,what`s more , if the junior do not take the certain job which thier teachers exactly did , they would be out of people's eyesight.

From what have been discussed above , it is not difficult to assert that the activity makes all faculty to take part in the outside world learning is not as suitable as it may be seen from the surface.

三段式，反对观点
1.
开头有点拖沓，观点摆得太早，中间大段实际上都没有什么意义，直接最后一句就可以了，但是这段那个参与讨论实在是废话，开头并不是很令人满意，缺乏吸引力
2.
第一段大概是讲浪费钱，但是topic sentence没写好，没有具体事例，但是有分析，不过分析并不是很明确，建议重写此段
3.
浪费时间，用自己英语老师作例
4.
这段略显突兀，首句最好有让步。讲正面的
5.
结尾

问题在于三点
1.
句子中语法错误比较多
2.
句子表意不清，大量不清楚的长句令人摸不着头脑
3.
论证缺乏很实在的例子或者很有力的分析，基本只有一面的分析。例如说外出工作费时，那么平时这些时间又放到哪里去了？备课？未必。实际上也很可能吃喝玩乐掉了。应该有一些更加深层次的原因，这种原因太过浅显