0910AW 同主题写作第七期 ARGUMENT167 by iloveusa2009

iloveusa2009UID: 2650557

ARGUMENT167  
A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.



Based on a three-week experient, the author asserts that the scent of lavender provides an effective short-term cure for insomnia. However, the author's account of the experient reveals several critical problems, which render it unconvincing.

First of all, a threshold problem involves the definition of insomnia. The author fails to define this critical term. Common sense tells us that insomnia is often defined as a difficulty to fall asleep. For that matter, how soundly or deep people sleep, or how tired they feel after sleep is irrelvance to whether they suffer from insomnia. In short, without a clear definition of insomnia, it is impossible to assess the strength of the argument.

Secondly, even if the purpose of the experient is to research the relation between lavender and sleep quality, the author fails to mention the volunteers' feeling after sleep in the third week research. Slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks does not indicate that volunteers have a good sleep quality. Lacking more information about the responses of volunteers after the third week, the author cannot draw any conclusion about the improvement of sleep quality.

Thirdly, even though the sleep quality was improved in the third week, we also cannot affirm that the result of the third week is just owing to the scent in lavender. Pehaps, since volunteers had suffered from a bad sleep in the past two weeks, they were more tired and then fell asleep easily in the third week. Or pehaps, the sleeping medication used in the fist week would have a long-lasting effect, which might provide interfering elements on the result. Without ruling out these posibility, the author cannot convince me that the improvement of sleep quality is result from lavender.

Fourthly, the study of insomnia is based on the subjective statement of volunteers. Without other certain methods such as setting a control group or single-blind trials to prevent conscious as well as subconscious bias in research, it is impossible to to ensure the objectiveity and accuracy of the experimental result.

Finally, for a chronic disease such as insomnia, three weeks is too short a period for researcher to get enough evidence to prove that lavender-scent-pillows really provide an effective cure. The shorter the experimental period the less reliable any general conclusions drawn from the study.

In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the assertion, the author must provide evidence from another exacting experiments whitch could amend defects mentioned above. To better asses the assertion, we also need a clear definition of insomnia.

xxhhttUID: 2477361

ARGUMENT167  
A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.


Based on a three-week experient（experiment）, the author asserts that the scent of lavender provides an effective short-term cure for insomnia.(概括得很精简) However, the author's account of the experient reveals several critical problems, which render it unconvincing.
First of all, a threshold problem involves the definition of insomnia. The author fails to define this critical term. Common sense tells us that insomnia is often defined as a difficulty to fall asleep. For that matter, how soundly or deep people sleep, or how tired they feel after sleep is irrelevance(irrelevant) to whether they suffer from insomnia. In short, without a clear definition of insomnia, it is impossible to assess the strength of the argument.(这段人人都按范文写哈)
Secondly, even if the purpose of the experient is to research the relation between lavender and sleep quality, the author fails to mention the volunteers' feeling after sleep in the third week research.（这一点即便转折跟貌似不成立，你可一even if 。。。there are still some critical problem of the process of the study. For instance后面的分句可以作为例子） Slept(Sleeping) longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks does not indicate that volunteers have a good sleep quality. Lacking more information about the responses of volunteers after the third week, the author cannot draw any conclusion about the improvement of sleep quality.


Thirdly, even though the sleep quality was improved in the third week, we also cannot affirm that the result of the third week is just owing to the scent in lavender. Pehaps, since volunteers had suffered from a bad sleep in the past two weeks, they were more tired and then fell asleep easily in the third week. Or pehaps, the sleeping medication used in the fist week would have a long-lasting effect, which might provide interfering elements on the result. Without ruling out these posibility, the author cannot convince me that the improvement of sleep quality is result from lavender.（这段论述得很详细）
Fourthly, the study of insomnia is based on the subjective statement of volunteers. Without other certain methods such as setting a control group or single-blind trials to prevent conscious as well as subconscious bias in research, it is impossible to to ensure the objectiveity and accuracy of the experimental result.(有些词汇值得借鉴)
Finally, for a chronic disease such as insomnia, three weeks is too short a period for researcher to get enough evidence to prove that lavender-scent-pillows really provide an effective cure. The shorter the experimental period the less reliable any general conclusions drawn from the study.(够不够，这依赖于医学知识，不建议批驳)
In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the assertion, the author must provide evidence from another exacting experiments whitch could amend defects mentioned above. To better asses the assertion, we also need a clear definition of insomnia.

你是限时打的吧 而且没修改 单词错得很多 印象不太好