Argument167 [=galloper=组] BY B11宋 求拍

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TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.

正文：
Based on a three weeks' study of 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia, the author concludes that over a period of time lavender cures insomnia. However, the argument is dubious on several grounds.

To begin with, the author assumes that the performance of the patients in the last week indicates that their chronic insomnia was cured; however, he fails to provide any evidence to support this view of him. The author defends his conclusion by the fact that during the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than the previous two weeks. However, if in the previous the volunteers could only sleep for two hours in the night, while in the third week they could sleep for three hours, which is still far from the normal level. Besides, even the volunteers could sleep for enough time as normal people with the help of lavender-scented pillows; this fact alone could still not prove that their insomnia has been cured. It is possible that their insomnia will recur when such pillows were moved away. Then the effect of these pillows is to help the volunteers sleep like their medicine, rather than cure their insomnia completely.

Furthermore, the author still fails to provide enough details, which includes whether the number of volunteers is large enough to support the validity of the study, whether the volunteers are selected randomly. So if the volunteers' insomnia was all caused by the noisy environment in their living place, while in the experiment, the environment is very quiet at night. Then cure of their insomnia may due to the change of the environment rather than the effect of the folk remedy. Or maybe it is the work stress, which caused their chronic insomnia. In the experiment, if the volunteers need not go to work at daytime, their pressure may be gradually released. In this case, it is the relief of pressure that cures their insomnia. So without providing evidence that the volunteers are all randomly selected and their activities in daily time are kept the same in the experiment as before, the author can not convince me that it is lavender-scented pillows, which helped to cure the volunteers’ insomnia.

To strengthen the argument, the author should provide more details about the volunteers, better evidence of the validity of the study and clear evidence that the volunteer are really cured.

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Based on a three weeks' study of 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia, the author concludes that over a period of time lavender cures insomnia. However, the argument is dubious on several grounds.

To begin with, the author assumes that the performance of the patients in the last week indicates that their chronic insomnia was cured; however, he fails to provide any evidence to support this view of him. The author defends(觉得这里用defend不是很恰当，用verify 一类的可能会更恰当一些) his conclusion by the fact that during the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than the previous two weeks. However, if in the previous the volunteers could only sleep for two hours in the night, while in the third week they could sleep for three hours, （论证很合理，但是例子感觉欠妥当。失眠不光指时间，也指质量。另外在后面觉得就时间来说应该和失眠以前的自己比，毕竟每一个人都是不同的）which is still far from the normal level. Besides, even the volunteers could sleep for enough time as normal people with the help of lavender-scented pillows; this fact alone could still not prove that their insomnia has been cured. It is possible that their insomnia will recur when such pillows were moved away. 治愈和复发的关系应该不大Then the effect of these pillows is to help the volunteers sleep like their medicine, rather than cure their insomnia completely.

Furthermore, the author still fails to provide enough details, which includes whether the number of volunteers is large enough to support the validity of the study, whether the volunteers are selected randomly. So if the volunteers' insomnia was all caused by the noisy environment in their living place, while in the experiment, the environment is very quiet at night. Then cure of their insomnia may due to the change of the environment rather than the effect of the folk remedy. 这两个例子举的很到位！Or maybe it is the work stress, which caused their chronic insomnia. In the experiment, if the volunteers need not go to work at daytime, their pressure may be gradually released. In this case, it is the relief of pressure that cures their insomnia. So without providing evidence that the volunteers are all randomly selected and their activities in daily time are kept the same in the experiment as before, the author can not convince me that it is lavender-scented pillows, which helped to cure the volunteers’ insomnia.

To strengthen the argument, the author should provide more details about the volunteers, better evidence of the validity of the study and clear（前面两个都是比较级，这里如果可以也最好统一） evidence that the volunteer are really cured.

条理清晰，也把应该攻击的地方都指出来了
但是第二段的论证感觉例子方面还可以有所加强

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