TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第4次作业 by 出来吧葡萄

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. （08.2.23）
Agree
1.科技曾经一度使得生活大大简化。
2.但是随着科技的进一步发展，生活节奏逐渐加快，原本以为高效率可以节省时间，但人们的压力却越来越大。
3.人们对它的依赖日益加深，过分的依赖导致很多问题。

There is no denying that technology has changed our life in the past century, introducing kinds of ways to facilitate our living environment. However, when taking a look at the life today, I could not easily admit that the highly developed technology is still what we considered the important tool to make our lives simpler. From my viewpoint, technology has in turn converting to the opposite position to complicate the society.

To begin with, it was the technology that supplied much convenience to our society in the past hundred years. With the progress in industrial machines, labor was released from handcraft jobs. They could have spare time to do what they like and of course the efficiency of work has been increased at the same time. What's more, our daily life in recent years has also been improved by the development of technology. For instance, modern transportation could take us to everywhere that we want; the computer absolutely free people from onus computing work; and the Internet make it possible for us to search information just sitting at the table. Besides, all kinds of appliances at home help people with house affairs, including washing dishes, cleaning rooms, and even recording message when you are away. From this point, technology has played an essential role in changing people's life.

However, the times when we were wild with joy at technology should be ended. Increasing number of people begin to doubt that whether modern technology, with such high developing speed, could still lead our life to a simple style. Since life pace of modern society, especially in large cities where every part of life is affected by technical elements, is becoming inevitably fast, people should judge the technology from a different perspective. While we expect that various machines would substitute us to do much work, leaving more time that we could spend on accompanying our family members or on enjoying with our friends, few people believe they could put their work aside. Information coming from all kinds of channels, such as websites, televisions, brings a big mass to people, resulting in the fact that employees should spend more time in managing these information. And taking along cell phones, everyone may be trapped in a wide net in which he or she would be easily found out. Under such circumstance, staying alone has becoming kind of precious experience.

Moreover, relying too heavily on technology would eventually lead to some problems. For example, dysfunction of computer system may disable companies involving economy, education and even government offices. Can we imagine the life without electrical appliances? Operations in hospital could not be conducted as usual and automatic teller machine would not give you the money you want. These so-called robots are the representatives of modern technology. Do you remember the day when they were created? Haven't we been excited about their birth? Nevertheless, in order to ensure their normal operation, people should have to spend much more time and spirit.

To sum up, technology has indeed played a positive role in improving our life. However, with the rapid progress, problems along with it increase in number. Nowadays, we could demonstrate that, even not willingly, technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

MVTUID: 2588209

回复： 1# 出来吧葡萄

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. （08.2.23）
1.科技曾经一度使得生活大大简化。, t9 h/ q9 F* V) |
2.但是随着科技的进一步发展，生活节奏逐渐加快，原本以为高效率可以节省时间，但人们的压力却越来越大。
3.人们对它的依赖日益加深，过分的依赖导致很多问题。
批改说明：
1. 红色: 不太合适的地方；
2. 蓝色: 值得学习的地方；
3. 淡紫: (my comment).

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There is no denying that technology has changed our life in the past century, introducing kinds of ways to facilitate our living environment. However, when taking a look at the life today, I could not easily admit that the highly developed technology is still what we considered the important tool to make our lives simpler. From my viewpoint, technology has in turn converting(converted) to the opposite position to complicate the society. (首段陈述观点: hardly admit that technology makes lives simpler.)

To begin with, it was the technology that supplied much convenience to our society in the past hundred years. With the progress in industrial machines, labor was released from handcraft jobs. They could have spare time to do what they like and of course the efficiency of work has been increased at the same time. What's more, our daily life in recent years has also been improved by the development of technology. For instance, modern transportation could take us to everywhere that we want; the computer absolutely free people from onus computing work(这儿怎么理解，'计算工作'？用calculating work如何？); and the Internet make it possible for us to search information just sitting at the table. Besides, all kinds of appliances at home help people with house affairs, including washing dishes, cleaning rooms, and even recording message when you are away. From this point, technology has played an essential role in changing people's life.;(本段观点: concede that T facilitate people's lives.)

However, the times when we were wild with joy at technology should be ended. Increasing number of people begin to doubt that whether modern technology, with such high developing speed, could still lead our life to a simple style. Since life pace of modern society, especially in large cities where every part of life is affected by technical elements, is becoming inevitably fast, people should judge the technology from a different perspective.(I'm a bit confused about the cause and effect relationship in this sentence. What's the real links between "fast pace" and "different perspective" because of your use of "since"?) While we expect that various machines would substitute us to do much work, leaving more time that we could spend on accompanying our family members or on enjoying with our friends, few people believe they could put their work aside. Information coming from all kinds of channels, such as websites, televisions, brings a big mass to people, resulting in the fact that employees should spend more time in managing these information. And taking along cell phones, everyone may be trapped in a wide net in which he or she would be easily found out. Under such circumstance, staying alone has becoming kind of precious experience(作者的创意太好了，但是我觉得这儿说服能力不强，手机上网就会使人们失去"静心"的时间吗？作者可以丰硕一下论证，工作忙，手机不敢关机，为了业务，失去了个人时间。这样呢？).(本段作者要说科技带来压力，但是感觉如何带来压力没有说出来，只用到了的词汇: judge from different perspective-没说透, manage information－这个比较具体, personal time deprivation－和压力之间的关系也没表达充分。)

Moreover, relying too heavily on technology would eventually lead to some problems. For example, dysfunction of computer system may disable companies involving economy, education and even government offices. Can we imagine the life without electrical appliances? Operations in hospital could not be conducted as usual and automatic teller machine would not give you the money you want. These so-called robots are the representatives of modern technology. Do you remember the day when they were created? Haven't we been excited about their birth? Nevertheless, in order to ensure their normal operation, people should have to spend much more time and spirit(How? Don't just state. What are actions taken to maintain the normal operations of these appliances?).(本段观点: technology reliance would lead to some problems, such as dysfunction.)

To sum up, technology has indeed played a positive role in improving our life. However, with the rapid progress, problems along with it increase in number. Nowadays, we could demonstrate that, even not willingly, technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.(结论:承认改进人们生活，同时也产生了很多问题)
COMMENTS:
1. 第二次看楼主的文章，再次证实楼主水平很高；
2. 为了能给楼主更进一步，我直率地挑剔出一些问题，仅为了交流学习，嘿嘿！加油！

DriftKingUID: 2664045

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. （08.2.23）6 M4 f$ n/ b0 [; S, Q. T: e6 A
Agree
1.科技曾经一度使得生活大大简化。. W& e! u0 U3 Y4 B: T, y
2.但是随着科技的进一步发展，生活节奏逐渐加快，原本以为高效率可以节省时间，但人们的压力却越来越大。
3.人们对它的依赖日益加深，过分的依赖导致很多问题。

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There is no denying that technology has changed our life in the past century, introducing kinds of ways to facilitate our living environment. However, when taking a look at the life today, I could not easily admit that the highly developed technology is still what we considered the important tool to make our lives simpler. From my viewpoint, technology has in turn converting to the opposite position to complicate the society.

To begin with, it was the technology that supplied much convenience to our society in the past hundred years. With the progress in industrial machines, labor was后边是they所以这个地方感觉应该就是labors were released from handcraft jobs. They could have spare time to do what they like and of course the efficiency of work has been increased at the same time. What's more, our daily life in recent years has also been improved by the development of technology. For instance, modern transportation could take us to everywhere that we want; the computer absolutely free people from onus computing work; and the Internet make it possible for us to search information just sitting at the table.比较好做个标记以后来学习 Besides, all kinds of appliances at home help people with house affairs, including washing dishes, cleaning rooms, and even recording message when you are away. From this point, technology has played an essential role in changing people's life.
  R/ U/ P7 t' }" c
However, the times when we were wild with joy at technology should be ended. Increasing number of people begin to doubt that whether modern technology, with such high developing speed, could still lead our life to a simple style. Since life pace of modern society, especially in large cities where every part of life is affected by technical elements, is becoming inevitably fast,这地方让我分析了老长时间，最后发现没问题。。以后来学习 people should judge the technology from a different perspective. While we expect that various machines would substitute us to do much work, leaving more time that we could spend on accompanying our family members or on enjoying with our friends, few people believe they could put their work aside. Information coming from all kinds of channels, such as websites, televisions, brings a big mass to people, resulting in the fact that employees should spend more time in managing these information. And taking along cell phones, everyone感觉最好不用这种很绝对的词汇，大多数人就好 may be trapped in a wide net in which he or she would be easily found out. Under such circumstance, staying alone has becoming kind of precious experience. 转折说明科技反而让人们工作起来更有压力

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+ F5 r& l- c" y2 D! m9 D) f
Moreover, relying too heavily on technology would eventually lead to some problems. For example, dysfunction of computer system may disable companies involving economy, education and even government offices. Can we imagine the life without electrical appliances? Operations in hospital could not be conducted as usual and automatic teller machine would not give you the money you want. These so-called robots are the representatives of modern technology. Do you remember the day when they were created? Haven't we been excited about their birth?不太明白想表达什么  难道想表达人们必须了解这些高科技产品的原理？会修并不代表会造或者excited about their birth吧
Nevertheless, in order to ensure their normal operation, people should have to spend much more time and spirit.
表达高科技反而平添了一些问题，如果他们出错了就麻烦了。其实我感觉楼主可以稍微转换下角都，就是说这些高科技产品让我们失去了一些原始的工作方式（比如在图书馆找资料，或者医生不根据仪器诊病），再加上网络的广泛应用使得很多东西都变得不安全，比如黑客。而一旦这些仪器出了问题，人们又不能摆脱对他们的依赖，损失将是不可避免的。

To sum up, technology has indeed played a positive role in improving our life. However, with the rapid progress, problems along with it increase in number. Nowadays, we could demonstrate that, even not willingly, technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

总的来说，葡萄的文笔真的不错，我是为了想给你的作文上留下点痕迹才鸡蛋里挑骨头挑出这几个貌似有问题的地方，以后要常来学习，加油！