TOEFL集结号暑期作文第5次作业by MVT

MVTUID: 2588209

TOPIC: agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.  (08.3.2) 周六22：00交
SYLLABUS:
1. 不同意随队并配备导游的旅游方式；
2. 效率低：难于统一，难于组织；
3. 导游的质量会毁坏旅游质量；
4. 让步：随队有点好处，但这种好处有很明显不利的一面；
5. 结论：只有自己去选择、筛选、安排旅游，才是自由和有价值的旅游。

People increasingly spend time on traveling nowadays for recreation or entertainment. Whether to travel in a group led by a tour guide becomes an ongoing and hot debate. Some people tend to join in a travel group led by guider, while others prefer to travel by themselves. As I am concerned, I would like to travel by myself rather than following a huge group with a guider.

To begin with, it is not efficient in a travel group. Obviously, a travel group includes various individuals of different jobs and cultural backsets. These travelers hold their own perspectives on places to visit because of the diverse interests, habits and of course the appreciation levels. An efficient schedule is hardly formed for many awesome problems to address, such as when to get up and have a rest, which place should come first, how much time should be spent up there, and so on. Without an agreement on the organization, it is difficult to form an efficient tour plan, eventually much time being wasted on the discussions even quarrels.

What's more, the tour guider probably misleads or even spoils our amazing tour. It is well established that tour guiders unnecessarily possess tourism certificate which acts as precondition to become a guide. Some guiders even have little knowledge about these relative places of interest. Then in order to finish their job, they probably add too much fake information to the instructions, or tamper a true story into their own version. How can you know if the guider missed a critical plot, or distorted a historical anecdote? Eventually, visitors are misled and lost their opportunity to access to genuine knowledge.

I concede that travel in a group with a tour guide has some advantages, for example the fixed schedule reducing your uncertainty and anxiety, the guider introducing fascinating stories, and so on. A fixed schedule may save your brains to some extent, yet it is inflexible indeed. And a guider might save your time on collecting information of the history, but you lose a good chance to learn the true history.

In conclusion, without your experience of searching for information to the resorts and of planning the trip by yourself, you probably lose the true meaning of your travel. Therefore, to make a free and valuable travel, I would like to conduct it myself, especially without a tour guide.
(400 words)

DriftKingUID: 2664045

TOPIC: agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.  (08.3.2) 周六22：00交  i0 e: X/ H8 g" M
SYLLABUS:$ \$ _6 p+ t1 m1 e
1. 不同意随队并配备导游的旅游方式；
2. 效率低：难于统一，难于组织；; v" X7 h- ]  u5 [3 o! `
3. 导游的质量会毁坏旅游质量；  ]/ R, @6 c, f) z2 i, {
4. 让步：随队有点好处，但这种好处有很明显不利的一面；2 p( L/ J) {3 u! o) _6 v
5. 结论：只有自己去选择、筛选、安排旅游，才是自由和有价值的旅游。. _! H: \7 X+ E" D0 P

People increasingly spend time on traveling nowadays for recreation or entertainment. Whether to travel in a group led by a tour guide becomes an ongoing and hot debate. Some people tend to join in a travel group led by guider, while others prefer to travel by themselves. As I am concerned, I would like to travel by myself rather than following a huge group with a guider.首段表明目的，很明确，只是感觉有点不合适，段末说的是following a huge group, 而段中是join in a travel group，感觉虽然就是一个huge但是带来的问题就不一样了


To begin with, it is not efficient in a travel group. Obviously, a travel group includes various individuals of different jobs and cultural backsets. These travelers hold their own perspectives on places to visit because of the diverse interests, habits and of course the appreciation levels. An efficient schedule is hardly formed for many awesome problems to address, such as when to get up and have a rest, which place should come first, how much time should be spent up there, and so on. Without an agreement on the organization, it is difficult to form an efficient tour plan, eventually much time being wasted on the discussions even quarrels.& b8 P  ^: Q3 h2 Y
* p( o- m& L5 D- ]( l+ I) c
What's more, the （感觉加个形容词比较好）tour guider probably misleads or even spoils our amazing tour. It is well established that tour guiders unnecessarily possess tourism certificate which acts as precondition to become a guide. Some guiders even have little knowledge about these relative places of interest. Then in order to finish their job, they probably add too much fake information to the instructions, or tamper a true story into their own version. How can you know if the guider missed a critical plot, or distorted a historical anecdote? Eventually, visitors are misled and lost their opportunity to access to genuine knowledge。观点：没效率。分论点
1、很难统一
2、导游素质难保证（不过有一点小疑惑，就是执照和道德品质是不太一样的）

I concede that travel in a group with a tour guide has some advantages,（句号） for example the fixed schedule reducing your uncertainty and anxiety, the guider introducing fascinating stories, and so on. A fixed schedule may save your brains to some extent, yet it is inflexible indeed. And a guider might save your time on collecting information of the history, but you lose a good chance to learn the true history.
0 ]' [: k% [, G3 m7 F

In conclusion, without your experience of searching for information to the resorts and of planning the trip by yourself, you probably lose the true meaning of your travel. Therefore, to make a free and valuable travel, I would like to conduct it myself, especially without a tour guide总结

文章形如流水，目标明确，结构清晰，论证到位，用词出神入化
我是来学习的顺便留下一点看法

枕头和书UID: 2578813

People increasingly spend time on traveling nowadays for recreation or entertainment. Whether to travel in a group led by a tour guide becomes an ongoing and hot debate. Some people tend to join in a travel group led by guider, while others prefer to travel by themselves. As I am concerned, I would like to travel by myself rather than following a huge group with a guider.

To begin with, it is not efficient in a travel group. Obviously, a travel group includes various individuals of different jobs and cultural backsets. These travelers hold their own perspectives on places to visit because of the diverse interests, habits and of course the appreciation levels. An efficient schedule is hardly formed for many awesome problems to address, such as when to get up and have a rest, which place should come first, how much time should be spent up(spend up 是花完了的意思) there, and so on. Without an agreement on the organization, it is difficult to form an efficient tour plan, eventually much time being wasted on the discussions even quarrels.  

What's more, the tour guider probably misleads or even spoils our amazing tour. It is well established that tour guiders unnecessarily possess tourism certificate which acts as precondition to become a guide. Some guiders even have little knowledge about these relative places of interest. Then in order to finish their job, they probably add too much fake information to the instructions, or tamper a true story into their own version. How can you know if the guider missed a critical plot, or distorted a historical anecdote? Eventually, visitors are misled and lost their opportunity to access to genuine knowledge.  

I concede that travel in a group with a tour guide has some advantages, for example the fixed schedule reducing your uncertainty and anxiety, the guider introducing fascinating stories, and so on. A fixed schedule may save your brains to some extent, yet it is inflexible indeed. And a guider might save your time on collecting information of the history, but you lose a good chance to learn the true history.
In conclusion, without your experience of searching for information to the resorts and of planning the trip by yourself, you probably lose the true meaning of your travel. Therefore, to make a free and valuable travel, I would like to conduct it myself, especially without a tour guide.


楼主写的太牛气了，我只改了一处，其他地方感觉改了就像鸡蛋里挑骨头，好文章，我学到了好多在这篇文章里。

MVTUID: 2588209

楼主写的太牛气了，我只改了一处，其他地方感觉改了就像鸡蛋里挑骨头，好文章，我学到了好多在这篇文章里。
枕头和书 发表于 2009-7-26 09:30

谢谢鼓励，其实文章论证还是很有问题的，楼上不要怕修改嘛，鼓励的同时也要给点批评啊，要不然我怎么进步。
别总这么客气呀！

那个spend up there 我是用up there 来代替 there 的，是不是这样用容易歧异呢？

hustzwjUID: 203387

TOPIC: agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.  (08.3.2) 周六22：00交9 a+ O8 _4 x  B
SYLLABUS:    PS：红色错
1. 不同意随队并配备导游的旅游方式；7 `3 `- I( q! n' Z2 a" g
2. 效率低：难于统一，难于组织；1 z$ s" l/ V9 h1 p
3. 导游的质量会毁坏旅游质量；
4. 让步：随队有点好处，但这种好处有很明显不利的一面；
5. 结论：只有自己去选择、筛选、安排旅游，才是自由和有价值的旅游。" w$ m) l2 _& O9 |3 o
7 \0 p% Z* N) Z* h
People increasingly spend time on traveling nowadays for recreation or entertainment. Whether to travel in a group led by a tour guide becomes an ongoing and hot debate. Some people tend to join in a travel group led by guider, while others prefer to travel by themselves. As I am concerned, I would like to travel by myself rather than following a huge group with a guider.

To begin with, it is not efficient in a travel group. Obviously, a travel group includes various individuals of different jobs and cultural backsets. These travelers hold their own perspectives on places to visit because of the diverse interests, habits and of course the appreciation levels. An efficient schedule is hardly formed for many awesome problems to address, such as when to get up and have a rest, which place should come first, how much time should be spent up there, and so on. Without an agreement on the organization, it is difficult to form （换词make）an efficient tour plan, eventually much time being wasted on the discussions even quarrels.我觉得这段写的很好，有很具体的例子。蛮喜欢。

What's more, the tour guider probably misleads or even spoils our amazing tour. It is well established that tour guiders unnecessarily possess tourism certificate which acts as precondition to become a guide. （这句话我认为有问题啊，unnecessarily有导游证，这个问题到哪个国家都是说不通的啊，我同学学旅游专业的，国家规定是必须导游得有导游证才能带团的。 干脆把这句去了算了）Some guiders even have little knowledge about these relative places of interest. Then in order to finish their job, they probably add too much fake information to the instructions, or tamper a true story into their own version. How can you know if the guider missed a critical plot, or distorted a historical anecdote? Eventually, visitors are misled and lost their opportunity to access to genuine knowledge。感觉这个有点说的违背职业道德了，但是我也不知道该怎么说其他的例子证明导游的不好，嘻嘻，但你的观点很新颖。8 V& P1 F8 ]3 G. n* t& _6 |
I concede that travel in a group with a tour guide has some advantages, for example the fixed schedule reducing your uncertainty and anxiety这里换个具体点的词吧，毕竟不确定性感觉有点怪怪的, the guider introducing（introduces） fascinating stories, and so on. A fixed schedule may save your brains to some extent, yet it is inflexible indeed. And a guider might save your time on collecting information of the history, but you lose a good chance to learn the true history.这段转折写的不错噢

]; B
In conclusion, without your experience of searching for information to the resorts and of planning the trip by yourself, you probably lose the true meaning of your travel. Therefore, to make a free and valuable travel, I would like to conduct it myself, especially without a tour guide.
(400 words)整体不错，结构很清晰，除了一些小问题，个人建议，你可以参考下，不见得都对，呵呵

MVTUID: 2588209

What's more, the tour guider probably misleads or even spoils our amazing tour. It is well established that tour guiders unnecessarily possess tourism certificate which acts as precondition to become a guide. （这句话我认为有问题啊，unnecessarily有导游证，这个问题到哪个国家都是说不通的啊，我同学学旅游专业的，国家规定是必须导游得有导游证才能带团的。 干脆把这句去了算了）Some guiders even have little knowledge about these relative places of interest. Then in order to finish their job, they probably add too much fake information to the instructions, or tamper a true story into their own version. How can you know if the guider missed a critical plot, or distorted a historical anecdote? Eventually, visitors are misled and lost their opportunity to access to genuine knowledge。感觉这个有点说的违背职业道德了，但是我也不知道该怎么说其他的例子证明导游的不好，嘻嘻，但你的观点很新颖。...
hustzwj 发表于 2009-7-28 10:11

谢谢hustzwj，这一段确实有问题，想不到这么容易被揪出来。其实我想说导游的能力和职业道德不行，揭露旅游行业的阴暗面，这个应该比较常见，但是我又没说好。我应该只抓住“不合格的导游”这一点来说就行，免得惹出更多麻烦。以后肯定会注意的！嘿嘿