argument 53【Triple Week】第7次练习by 泡面

泡面UID: 2513568

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 418
TIME: 0:30:00
DATE: 2009-7-26

The arguer claims that eariler this the researchers studied a group of 25 infants they studied thirteen years ago who were more likely to have been conceived in early autumn. Since
autumn makes the increase in production of mother's melatonin, the 25 teenagers are now very shy, the arguer makes the conclution that it is the increased levels of melatonin cause shyness to the teenagers. Persuasive as it seems, the arguer seems to virtually figuers out some flaws
once submitted to further examination.

First of all, the researchers had showed to the 25 teenagers unfamiliar stimuli and they displayed signs of mild distress 13 years ago when they were infants. Thirteen years later, the researchers made studies on them for the second time. On the one hand, the arguer neglect some significant information about the research made thirteen years ago, the infants were exposed to unusual odor or unfamiliar voices from tape recording, it is possible that this unfamiliar stimilus lead to shyness to the teenagers. On the other hand, the two researches were made respectively thirteen years ago and thirteen years later. According to the arguer, the researchers seems did not do any supervision during the long period of time. Common sense informs me that children's characters are influenced by various factors. Such as education from parents, personal experience, the overall environment, etc.. We cannot rule out the influnce of these factors that give birth to the teenagers' shyness.

On the second place, the arguer cites that most of these infants are conceived in autumn, which causes the increase of melatonin in mother. As the arguer states that melatonin is a kind of hormone known to affect some brain functions. However, the arguer fails to illustrate the actual object this hormone take effects on. First, whose brain functions are effected? The mother or the infant? Second, which particular brain functions are affected? Do these functions determine shyness for children and even lasted later? (这样问句算不算口语化？我觉得这样是增加文章的可读性，如果需要全部改成陈述句那我再改过来好了)The arguer is weakened by vague statements.

In conclusion, in order to bolster the auguer’s conclusion, the arguer should provide more detailed information. Without information of the actual effect of unfamiliar stimuli during thirteen years, the long period overall environment during thirteen years and the specific impacts of the melatonin including the object and the exact functions, the statement is susceptible to be unconvincing.