0910AW 同主题写作第十一期 ARGUMENT9 by Seraph

gx198891UID: 2596661

TOPIC: ARGUMENT9 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.

"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."

作者思路：评估制度---高分---学生就业困难---废弃评估体系
作者立场：善意的，提高毕业生就业率
核心错误：错误的因果关系，没有考虑其他可能性
提纲：1. 片面地认为评估制度导致高分
   2. 片面地认为高分导致就业困难
   3. 没有考虑更多的补救措施
Words: 425   Time: 半天。。。

The dean concludes Omega University (OU) should terminate student evaluation procedure in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. The dean’s reasoning is twofold: the evaluation procedure leads to the grades inflation, and then further induces unemployment problem in OU. The argument assumes the correlations amount to causal relationships. The argument also fails to examine alternative explanations. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.

First of all, the assumption is that because OU implemented the evaluation procedure, professors have begun to assign higher grades in their class. Unfortunately, the dean fails to consider other possible causes to higher grade averages. Perhaps, the quality of teaching in OU has improved significantly for bringing in some outstanding professors, equipping modern teaching devices, and performing an advanced educational system. Or perhaps, more qualified students enrolled during the fifteen years for its continuous enhancing reputation. Moreover perhaps, the tests become much easier to respond a movement of reducing students’ academic burden.

Secondly, granted that the evaluation system is one and only fundamental cause of the grades inflation, the dean still cannot guarantee the unfavorable employment statue is blame to the higher grade averages. Generally speaking, employers tend to a graduate with higher GPA, although potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated, which may leads the graduates sink in the estimation of employers relatively. So I am prone to seek other possible explanations. Maybe the graduates of OU lack of ability to deal with reality for the dogmatic education. Probably the graduates are short of interview skills as well in that no corresponding courses provide in OU. It is also entirely possible that the major subject of AU is IT, as opposite to OU, most student of who might major in art. If so, the employment of OU can hardly surpass that of AU.

Even if we also concede the grade inflation prevent students from finding jobs, the dean's suggestion is still unreasonable. The suggestion may mask other and potentially more significant measure to deal with the employment problems, such as performing a teaching reform, offering students more opportunities of summer internships, providing gradates several courses about interview skills, and so the forth.

Overall, the argumentation behind terminate the student evaluation of professor seems logical as presented above since the problem of employment in OU is serious indeed. However, before any final conclusions are made to incite its graduate employment, the author should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for the grades inflation in OU and its employment problem as compared to AU.

chloelinUID: 2673636

1# gx198891

楼主，总体而言，这篇issue言简意赅，观点鲜明，而且论述很透彻，是一篇很好的issue。但是可以尽量少用I will， I am prone to等表达这样显得不够客观，建议用it is helpful to explore other explanations这类形式主语的表达。另外有一些小语法错误，都已标出，红色为添加词，黑色粗体下划线为删词
The dean concludes Omega University (OU) should terminate the student evaluation procedure in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs. The dean’s reasoning is twofold: the evaluation procedure leads to the grades inflation, and then further induces unemployment problem in OU. The argument assumes the correlations amount to causal relationships. The argument also fails to examine alternative explanations. I will discuss each of these facets in turn.(偶觉得这边用I will discuss...表达有些过于口语化了，而且太主观)
First of all, the assumption is that because OU implemented the evaluation procedure, professors have begun to assign higher grades in their class. Unfortunately, the dean fails to consider other possible causes to higher grade averages. Perhaps, the quality of teaching in OU has improved significantly for bringing in some outstanding professors, equipping modern teaching devices, and performing an advanced educational system. Or perhaps, more qualified students enrolled during the fifteen years for its continuous enhancing reputation. Moreover perhaps, the tests become much easier to respond a movement of reducing students’ academic burden.
Secondly, granted that the evaluation system is one and only fundamental cause of the grades inflation, the dean still cannot guarantee the unfavorable employment status statue is due blamed to the higher grade averages. Generally speaking, employers tend to hire a graduate with higher GPA, although potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated, which may leads the graduates sink in the estimation of employers relatively(这句和论点相反可以删掉). So I am prone to seek other possible explanations. Maybe the graduates of OU lack of ability to deal with reality for the dogmatic education. Probably the graduates are short of interview skills as well in that no corresponding courses provide in OU. It is also entirely possible that the major subject of AU is IT, as opposite to OU, most student of who might major in art. If so, the employment of OU can hardly surpass that of AU.
Even if we also concede the grade inflation prevent students from finding jobs, the dean's suggestion is still unreasonable. The suggestion may mask other and potentially more significant measures to deal with the employment problems, such as performing a teaching reform, offering students more opportunities of summer internships, providing gradates several courses about interview skills, and so the forth.
Overall, the argumentation to behind terminate the student evaluation of professor seems logical as presented above since the problem of employment in OU is serious indeed. However, before any final conclusions are made to incite its graduate employment, the author should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for the grades inflation in OU and its employment problem as compared to AU.

gx198891UID: 2596661

2# chloelin
谢谢！辛苦了！
待得我手头的东西弄完了，在把这篇文好好改改。