TOEFL集结号暑期作文第7次作业 by DriftKing

DriftKingUID: 2664045

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.



1、随着经济，科技发展，我们越来越多的需要土地区建设一些设施，有时就会影响到濒危物种的生存环境，这样做好还是不好，决定于我们的处境
2、如果这个物种是生物链的重要一环，或者是个很有代表的动物，那绝对要保护。
3、如果这个动物就是个小昆虫，比如苍蝇或者蟑螂，就没必要放弃大好的前景去保护他们。每天都有生物灭绝，总不能不顾一切的去保护吧。
4、总结（这个总结着实很短，但是在想不出句子了，而且感觉再怎么总结，都是重复）

As the development of economy and science, we need more and more land to build some facilities satisfying our requirement. However, we have to use the land where the endangered animals lived sometimes. Is it the right thing we do? I think it depends on the situation we meet.



Consider the animal is a important species in the food chain, or have a crucial meaning to people, we have to protect it. For example, there was a report from Australia said a kind of wolf always attack the livestock and the residents, so people cooperate to kill them. And then, the wolf came to be a endangered one. Without the enemy, the livestock became lazy and caught a epidemic, a lot of them have dead, no one can cure them. At last, a professor put the only effective drug---- wolf. For reasons that wolf can help the livestock to wash out the unqualified one and give the good gene to the next generation. So we can not strive for the land from the animal like the Australia wolf, because if we occupy their territory, we accelerate the speed of annihilation; and if this species die out, we destroy the whole nature of that place. On the other hand, like Panda in China and Eagle in American, these animals are the representation of the Country, we must protect them even though we should spend a huge city or national park for them.



However, we'd better pay more attention on human need if it is much more important than protect a insignificant species. If I need to make a choice between install a lot of refugee and protect a kind of endangered fly, I will select to execute the first one. Since people's life is much more significant than protect a useless ugly fly. Moreover, should we reject the chance to build a factory which can give thousands of people a opportunity to work and provide a huge tax to the society in order to protect the residence of a kind of cockroach? We lost some species everyday forever, should we try our best to save them everyday without care of the merit? So it is intelligent to pay more attention to the use land for human need than to protect the endangered animal that is worthless.



As all the opinions I have talked above, we should evaluate the value between protect endangered animals and human use, and choose the more merit and sensible choice.

nkglUID: 2618535

Asthe development of economy and science, we need more and more land to buildsome facilities satisfying our requirements.However (这个转折是为何？therefore才对吧？), we have to use the landwhere the endangered animals lived sometimes. Is it the right thing we do? Ithink it depends on the situation we meet.

Consideringthat the animal is a important species (这个词感觉不妥 constituent?)in the food chain, or (and?) have a crucial meaning topeople, we have to protect it. For example, there was a report from Australiasaid a kind of wolf always attack the livestock and theresidents, so people cooperate to kill them. And then, the wolf came to be anendangered one. Without the enemy, the livestock became lazy and caught anepidemic, a lot of them have dead (died),no one can cure them. At last, a professor put the only effective drug---- wolf(然后呢？). For reasons that wolfcan help the livestock to wash out the unqualified one and give the good geneto the next generation. So we can not strive for the land from the animal likethe Australiawolf, because if we occupy their territory, we accelerate the speed ofannihilation; and if this species die out, we destroy the whole nature of thatplace. On the other hand, like Panda in China and Eagle in American, theseanimals are the representation of the Country, we must protect them even thoughwe should spend (spend不妥吧？) ahuge city or national park for them.




However,we'd better pay more attention on human need if it is much more important thanprotecting a insignificant species. If I need to make achoice between installing a lot of refugee andprotecting a kind of endangered fly, I will select toexecute the first one. Since people's life is much more significant thanprotect a useless ugly fly. Moreover, should we reject the chance to build afactory which can give thousands of people anopportunity to work and provide a huge tax to the society in order to protectthe residence of a kind of cockroach? We lost some species everyday forever,should we try our best to save them everyday without care of the merit? So itis intelligent to pay more attention to the use land for human need than toprotect the endangered animal that is worthless.


Asall the opinions I have talked above, we should evaluate the value betweenprotecting endangered animals and human use,and choose the more merit and sensible choice.

第一次改
不好请见谅啊~~有写介词后面动词的使用要注意

文赋UID: 2611067

论点3从学术上说是没有根据地。当然，写托福作文还是可以的。
词汇和短语的积累，就是坚持看原版文章，看美语新闻。每次都会碰到一些新鲜地道的表达方式。
句子的运用，就比较难了，要认真分析老外是怎么组合句子的，每次分析完，下次写作文的时候就记得模仿下就行了。
写作文的时候，可能会遇到自己想表达，但不知道怎么表达的情况，可以先写出来。等写完整整一篇后，上网找表达方式，或者查字典也行。要模仿外国人的文章，不要模仿中国人的。

文赋UID: 2611067

As the development of economy and science（因为科技发展？那算了，我们不发展他们了。建议写，因为人口膨胀之类的原因）, we need more and more land to build some facilities satisfying ourrequirement. However, we have to use the land where the endangered animalslived sometimes. Is it the right thing we do? I think it depends on thesituation we meet. 准备分类讨论了，我不反对这种写法。但是我不喜欢这种写法，因为实际上操作还是有困难的。

Considering(从句可以比主句长，也可以很复杂，但是从句就是从句，只能用介词，which，that，和分词引导，不能用动词，否则就成句子成分缺失了) the animal is animportant species in the food chain, or have a crucial meaning to people, so we have to protect it. For example,there was a report from Australiasaid a kind of wolf always attack the livestock and the residents, so peoplecooperate to kill them. And then, the wolf came to be a endangered one. Withoutthe enemy, the livestock became lazy and caught an epidemic, a lot of them have dead, and no one can cure them. At last, a professor put the onlyeffective drug----wolf. For reasons that wolf can help the livestock to washout the unqualified one and give the good gene to the next generation. So we cannotstrive for the land from the animal like the Australia wolf, because if weoccupy their territory, we accelerate the speed of annihilation; and if one specie dies out, we may destroy the whole nature of thatplace. On the other hand, like Panda（这个就不用大写了）in China and Eagle（我一直以为美国国徽上鸟是猎鹰，猎鹰速度快，不吃腐肉。没想到是秃鹰，疯掉了。） in American, these animals are the representation of the Country;we must protect them even though we should spend a huge city or national parkfor them.

However, we had（缩写不容许） better pay moreattention on human need, if it is much more important than protect ainsignificant species. If I need to make a choice between install a lot ofrefugee and protect a kind of endangered fly, I will select to execute thefirst one. Since people's life is much more significant than protect a uselessugly fly. Moreover, should we reject the chance to build a factory which cangive thousands of people a opportunity（上千人一个机会，那还不抢得头破血流，没注意过老外有没有这样写过，但是建议改成复数） to work and-->or providea huge tax to the society in order to protect the residence of a kind ofcockroach? We lost some species everyday forever, should we try our best tosave them everyday without care of the merit? Therefore,（正式写作so不能开头用） it isintelligent to pay more attention to the use land for human need than toprotect the endangered animal that is worthless

As all the opinions I have talked above, weshould evaluate the value between protect endangered animals and human use, andchoose the more merit and sensible choice.最后一段可以复述改写前面主体段落的观点。

另外，文章里的I出现的太多了。

hustzwjUID: 203387

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.
$ u4 H# ~- d4 ^/ i( @

1、随着经济，科技发展，我们越来越多的需要土地区建设一些设施，有时就会影响到濒危物种的生存环境，这样做好还是不好，决定于我们的处境
2、如果这个物种是生物链的重要一环，或者是个很有代表的动物，那绝对要保护。$ @0 ~9 F: B! O* s4 {: }: H
3、如果这个动物就是个小昆虫，比如苍蝇或者蟑螂，就没必要放弃大好的前景去保护他们。每天都有生物灭绝，总不能不顾一切的去保护吧。                          
（我就觉得这个让人感觉你无视小生命，哈哈）
4、总结（这个总结着实很短，但是在想不出句子了，而且感觉再怎么总结，都是重复）



As the development of economy and science, we need more and more land to build some facilities satisfying our requirement. However, we have to use the land where the endangered animals lived sometimes. Is it the right thing we do? I think it depends on the situation we meet.R' G0 @' U: X% `9 m9 S& o7 U$ L* P1 s
# u" c6 Q, a) Z2 j+ ~7 ?% d



ConsiderING the animal is a important species in the food chain, or have a crucial meaning to people, we have to protect it. For example, there was a report from Australia （which） said a kind of wolf always attack the livestock and the residents, so people cooperate（时态） to kill them. And then, the wolf came to be a endangered one. Without the enemy, the livestock became lazy and caught a（AN） epidemic, a lot of them have （been）dead, no one can cure them. At last, a professor put the only effective drug---- wolf. For reasons that wolf can help the livestock to wash out the unqualified one and give the good gene to the next generation. So we can not strive for the land from the animal like the Australia wolf, because if we occupy their territory, we accelerate the speed of annihilation; and if this species die out, we destroy the whole nature of （换个说法，可以说什么ecology system or biological cycling）that place. On the other hand,(换词，furthermore) like Panda in China and Eagle in American, these animals are the representation of the Country, we must protect them even though we should spend a huge city or national park for them例子举得不错，但是语法错误蛮多的.: G2 K' k/ x0 r
, K5 h9 k# C/ N0 I  c

However, we'd better pay more attention on human need if it is much more important than protect a insignificant species. If I need to make a choice between install a lot of refugee and protect a kind of endangered fly, I will select to execute the first one. Since people's life is much more significant than protect a useless ugly fly. Moreover, should we reject the chance to build a factory which can give thousands of people a opportunity to work and provide a huge tax to the society in order to protect the residence of a kind of cockroach? We lost some species everyday forever, should we try our best to save them everyday without care of the merit? So it is intelligent to pay more attention to the use land for human need than to protect the endangered animal that is worthless.这个我保留意见，因为我不同意你这个观点，所以我不想强加我的看法给你，你就一些小语法毛病改改就行了，，! z6 L; {2 W! F4 }/ U9 [
  h% e0 }' _& D$ X. T

As all the opinions I have talked above, we should evaluate the value between protect endangered animals and human use, and choose the more merit and sensible choice.
整体上，是分情况讨论，但是我个人是对第二种写法中的那个fly的例子不支持，你想啊，fly就跟人住一起噢，哈哈，
思路很清晰，其他的语法有点问题，其他都蛮好！！！！

DriftKingUID: 2664045

5# hustzwj

谢谢MM，不过你太懒了哦，你说我第3段有语法毛病，还不给我指出来，鄙视下，哈哈，下次不能这么烂喽