虚心求教：第一篇雅思作文，希望高手能指教，给个大概分数，谢谢~

t.fishUID: 2572818

University should accept equal numbers of males and females students in every subject?

Currently, it has become a fierce debate over whether college should accept equal sexes in every subject. People take vary opinions. Before I point out my view, it is better to look at both views about it first.

Someone is firmly believes that it take numerous benefits to let same numbers of males and females study together. To start with, the real world is constituted by both two sexes so should the school likely to be. It helps students to be better prepared for the graduated life and cultivate them social adaptation. Furthermore, according to learn together, students will pay more attention to their performances in study and their behaviors, which has been illustrated by some investments conducted by psychologists. Thirdly, different ideas based on different genders exchanges in classes help to study.

However, others take a contrary view about enrolling same number of sexes in every subject. The strongest counterplea is that it not always has equal number of two sexes both good at the same subject, such as females are more likely competent for nursing while males usually have achievements in mechanic. What’s more, the interesting of two sexes varying from each other and it is also a factor influenced on the selection of major. Moreover, though there maybe lacking balance of sex in subjects, students can have contact with the opposite sex in large campus, which may stimulate them to enhance their interpersonal skills.

For the consideration of students’ interesting and abilities, it is not feasible to demand every subject have the equal number of males and females. In this sense, I prefer to university pick up students not by consider so much about their genders but their abilities which is more vital to be a good specialist.

gordoncaoyUID: 2464740

先说几个语法上的错误。

People take vary opinions

，这里vary应该是various，vary是动词。

Someone is firmly believes that it take numerous

，两个问题，1. 怎么能用is . . . believes呢？应该是someone believes that. . .，2. it后面应该是takes吧？

the real world is constituted by both two sexes so should the school likely to be

。这句话的语法是不对的，你想表达学校应该像世界一样，有两个性别。你可以这么表达：The school, like the real world, should be consituted by both two genders. 你那句话太chinglish了。

cultivate them social adaptation

，这里最好用cultivate themselves

according to learn together

，这句话什么意思？根据在一起学习？？？

different ideas based on different genders exchanges in classes help to study.

这句话很乱啊。动词层出不穷。一句话里不能有两个以上的动词的。你可以把exchanges改成exchanged，因为思想是被交换的，不是主动的。还有，help to study，没有主语，help谁？要自己补上。

it not always has equal number of two sexes both good at the same subject

,这句话总觉得表达上很奇怪。改的建议：it is not always the situation where the same number of boys and girls is good at the same subject.

, such as females...

，你后面用such as不是很好，应该先句号，然后说For example/For instance. . .

hough there maybe lacking

,应该是there may lacks. . .

students’ interesting

， 应该是students' interests，注意名词！

by consider so much

， should be "by consideration of . . ."

but their abilities which is more vital to be a good specialist.

. abilities是复数吧？后面应该是which are。

gordoncaoyUID: 2464740

下面我想说下你这篇文章的结构和内容。首先，这样的写法是可以的，而且比较的合理。结构上问题不大。

内容上，有些原因比较的牵强。比如，你说要和世界一样，拥有一样的性别比例。首先，世界的性别比不是相同的，而题目要求的是equal，所以这点就说不通了。另外，你说的是both sexes，而没说the same ratio of genders。对吗？现在的专业情况是，男女生都有，只是比例上不协调罢了。所以这点原因，你必须说得更清楚才可以。

第三段的原因都说的比较好。我给这篇文章打6分。最多6分，可能碰到严格的考官会在5.5左右。

主要原因：1. 原因分析不到位，不严谨
               2. 语法用词错误太多，是很低级的，这样直接会导致考官第一印象不好。

t.fishUID: 2572818

谢谢~大感谢~~~~~