急，还有十天！ 第二次认真模考，望互拍

linyang42UID: 2407584

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 552
TIME: 00:45:00+20:00
DATE: 2009-8-13 23:42:08

In this era of rapidly developed science and technology leading to complex society, the issue that whether tradition and modernization are incompatible becomes a vogue among an increasing number of people. Does it really the case? As far as I am concerned, though tradition and modernization are different things but they are consistent with each other and we can not understand our living completely without perceiving the tradition.

Admittedly, tradition was what occurred past. It seems little relevant with our current living and since our living pace is so quick, spending time on tradition may not pragmatic. A good example is that one needs to look no further than the university curriculums, the advanced and “modern” course like computer science, accounting and banking, international business are prevailed and favored by most students. While the majors of history, archeology and traditional literature were bogged into an embarrassing position that lacking of enough students. What's more, mainstream media such as TV, newspaper and magazines seem say “YES” to the issue and bombard people with a tremendous number of latest fashion and modernization while the traditional programs was in the last list.

However, it is undeniable modernization was relied on tradition. Generally speaking, tradition was the cherish heritage of a nation as it had been hand down generation from generation and every generation add unique feature to it. Previous traditions, like culture and arts have an indispensable effect on later artists and their works of art. Many contemporary artists get inspiration when close scrutiny the great painting, Mona Lisa, one of most prestigious painting in western world. My department dean, a famous musician in China, also claims that he reviews the music of Beethoven once a week and the immortal tradition intrigue him and subject him to create songs. So it is obviously tradition and modernization can work well with each other.

When comes to the technology, modern scientist should never forget how beneficial they get from the tradition. Take the invent of computer for example, Today the most advanced computer was not created automatically but relied on the previous primary computer. these primary computers was very cumbersome and ineffective in today, but they have a significant influence on the later development of computer. It was thought past and current scientists' ceaseless effort that we can enjoy the luxury usage of computer. Therefore, modernization is just what based on the tradition and they would compatible well with each other.

Furthermore, in order to live a better life, one must learn what happened because he can grasp a lot of knowledge from the tradition. Just as the old saying: everyone who don't know what happened before he burned remain he as a child. Although we live in current time, it is never mean that tradition is meaningless to us. Many modern discovers and invents are the result of continuous study and research of traditions. If Newton fails to realize the Galion’s theory of forces, it is difficult for him to establish the classic physical theory. History is replete with such examples.

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TOPIC: ARGUMENT176 - The following is a memorandum from the sales director to the president of the Healthy-and-Good food company.

"A recent study indicates that Venadial, a new margarine currently produced only in the country of Alta, actually reduces cholesterol levels. Derived from the resin of pine trees, Venadial works by activating a metabolic response that is not yet well understood. However, cholesterol levels fell ten to fifteen percent among participants in the study who consumed Venadial daily and the risk of heart attack by one-third. In addition, the new margarine is so popular that stores in Alta are unable to keep it on their shelves. Therefore, if our company obtains the exclusive right to sell Venadial internationally, our profits are sure to increase substantially within a very short time."
WORDS: 424
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-8-13 23:42:08

In this argument, the author recommends to obtain the exclusive right to sell Venadial internationally which would render company making profit in a very short time. To bolster this recommendation, he cited a study and some other evidences. Close scrutiny of every evidences, however, it suffers from several logical flaws.

First of all, the function of Venadial is open to doubt.
Although the author claims that the participants who consumed Venadial daily felling ten to fifteen percent of the cholesterol levels and one-third of the heart attack, it is may not the result of consuming Venadial. It is entirely possible that these participants treated and guided by a professional physician who gives them a reasonable treatment. Or perhaps these participants pay more attention to their health and do exercises more before. What’s more, since the work principle of Venadial was not well understood yet the author can not allege the effectiveness of Venadial as it stands.


Secondly, even assuming the function of Venadial is convincing, it is also hard to predict purchasing the exclusive right of Venadial would be a good deal because the recommendation was relied on a poor analogy. It was fact that Venadial were popular in Alta and Alta is unable to keep in on shelves, however, it never means the same result will occur in the international markets. Maybe local Alta citizens consider more the taste of Venadial other than its function. Or perhaps there is only one healthy good like Venadial in Alta so it was the unique choice for Alta citizens. Notwithstanding, the International market will be totally different from the market of Alta. So a deep and complete economic and market investigation is necessary for the company.

What's more, we know the profit is not only the revenue, but also consider the cost. There are a myriad of factors will affect the profit of Healthy-and-Good food company. If Venadial was just produced in Alta, then the cost of transportation will be high when the company was far from the Alta. Also, the company should meditate whether the exclusive right of Vedanta is reasonable, if it is very expensive, the expense may offset or even outweigh the profit. so the healthy-and-good company should think carefully before make the decision.
In conclusion, the recommendation that purchasing the exclusive right of Venadial may be a poor one owing to it based on some unpersuasive evidences. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide more clear evidence about the genuine function of Venadial as well as the market situation in internationally.

linyang42UID: 2407584

都没人进来看看吗

ministry10UID: 2666141

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them." WORDS: 552 TIME: 00:45:00+20:00 DATE: 2009-8-13 23:42:08 In this era of rapidly developed science and technology leading to complex society, the issue that whether tradition and modernization are incompatible becomes a vogue among an increasing number of people. Does it really the case?这个好像是个语法错误吧？应该是is it really the case?吧 As far as I am concerned, though tradition and modernization are different things but they are consistent with each other and we can not understand our living completely without perceiving the tradition.个人觉得这个主题句的意思并不是很明确呢，是不是可以试试说的更清楚明白一些呢？比如说we can not understand our current living thoroughly without perceiving the tradition? Admittedly, tradition was what occurred past. It seems little relevant with our current living and since our living pace is so quick, spending time on tradition may not be pragmatic. A good example is that one needs to look no further than the university curriculums, the advanced and “modern” course like computer science, accounting and banking, international business are prevailed 应该是prevailing吧？表示很流行的意思~可以再查查字典and favored by most students. While the majors of history, archeology and traditional literature were bogged into an embarrassing position lacking in （lack是个很tricky的词，可以查下它的用法）enough students. What's more, mainstream media such as TV, newspaper and magazines seem say “YES” to the issue 什么issue啊？and bombard people with a tremendous number of latest fashion and modernization while the traditional programs was in the last list. However, it is undeniable modernization was relied on tradition. Generally speaking, tradition was the cherish heritage of a nation as it had been handed down generation from generation and every generation adds unique feature to it. Previous traditions, like culture and arts have an indispensable effect on later artists and their works of art. Many contemporary artists get inspiration when close scrutinizing the great painting, Mona Lisa, one of most prestigious painting in western world. My department dean, a famous musician in China, also claims that he reviews the music of Beethoven once a week and the immortal tradition intrigues him and subjects him to （subject sb to do sth我记得好像是强迫某人做什么事情吧？刚查了下，确实是..这里应该是不太合适的吧？）create songs. So it is obviously tradition and modernization can work well with each other. When comes to the technology, modern scientist should never forget how beneficial they get from the tradition. Take the invent of computer for example, Today the most advanced computer was not created automatically but relied on the previous primary computer. these primary computers were very cumbersome and ineffective viewed in contemporaries' eyes, but they have a significant influence on the later development of computer. It was thought past and current scientists' ceaseless effort that we can enjoy the luxury usage of computer. Therefore, modernization is just what based on the tradition and they would compatible well with each other. Furthermore, in order to live a better life, one must learn what happened because he can grasp a lot of knowledge from the tradition. Just as the old saying: everyone who don't know what happened before he burned remain he as a child. Although we live in current time, it is never mean(it never means) that tradition is meaningless to us. Many modern discovers and invents are the result of continuous study and research of traditions. If Newton fails to realize the Galion’s theory of forces, it is difficult for him to establish the classic physical theory. History is replete with such examples. 结尾是不是可以再强调一下呢？furthermore开头的结尾好像有点怪啊？ -------------------------- TOPIC: ARGUMENT176 - The following is a memorandum from the sales director to the president of the Healthy-and-Good food company. "A recent study indicates that Venadial, a new margarine currently produced only in the country of Alta, actually reduces cholesterol levels. Derived from the resin of pine trees, Venadial works by activating a metabolic response that is not yet well understood. However, cholesterol levels fell ten to fifteen percent among participants in the study who consumed Venadial daily and the risk of heart attack by one-third. In addition, the new margarine is so popular that stores in Alta are unable to keep it on their shelves. Therefore, if our company obtains the exclusive right to sell Venadial internationally, our profits are sure to increase substantially within a very short time." WORDS: 424 TIME: 00:30:00 DATE: 2009-8-13 23:42:08 In this argument, the author recommends to obtain the exclusive right to sell Venadial internationally which would render company making profit in a very short time. To bolster this recommendation, he cited a study and some other evidences. Close scrutiny of every evidences, however, it suffers from several logical flaws. First of all, the function of Venadial is open to doubt. Although the author claims that the participants who consumed Venadial daily felling ten to fifteen percent of the cholesterol levels and one-third of the heart attack, maybe it is (it is may)情态动词怎么在be动词之后呢.. not the result of consuming Venadial. It is entirely possible that these participants were treated and guided by a professional physician who gives them a reasonable treatment. Or perhaps these participants pay more attention to their health and do exercises more than before. What’s more, since the work principle of Venadial was not well understood yet这是表转折的，可是这里应该是因为所以的关系吧？the author can not allege the effectiveness of Venadial as it stands. Secondly, even assuming the function of Venadial is convincing, it is also hard to predict purchasing the exclusive right of Venadial would be a good deal because the recommendation was relied on a poor analogy. It was fact that Venadial were popular in Alta and Alta is unable to keep in on shelves, however, it never means the same result will occur in the international markets. Maybe local Alta citizens consider(emphasize more on) more the taste of Venadial other than its function. Or perhaps there is only one healthy good like Venadial in Alta so it was the unique choice for Alta citizens. Notwithstanding, the International market will be totally different from the market of Alta. So a deep and complete economic and market investigation is necessary for the company. What's more, we know the profit is not only the revenue, but also consider the cost. There are a myriad of factors that will affect the profit of Healthy-and-Good food company. If Venadial was just produced in Alta, then the cost of transportation will be high when the company was far from the Alta. Also, the company should meditate whether the exclusive right of Vedanta is reasonable, if it is very expensive, the expense may offset or even outweigh the profit. so the healthy-and-good company should think carefully before making the decision. In conclusion, the recommendation that purchasing the exclusive right of Venadial may be a poor one owing to it based on some unpersuasive evidences. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide more clear evidence about the genuine function of Venadial as well as the international market situation in internationally(删掉. 我觉得你的行文还是很流畅的，也用了很多挺好的词和表达方式。 但是文章出现了很多比较初级的语法错误，可能是时间有限所以没有检查吧，建议在写完之后花一两分钟检查一下，就能看出很多。 我只能从这种微观的角度来看文章，还期待高人从更加宏观的角度审视下习作啊~ 我也写了一篇argument，一会儿发上来，还希望多指点啊

1# linyang42

linyang42UID: 2407584

issue 我最后一段怎么漏了贴了
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In conclusion, we live in current but traditions are valuable for  us and we should pay enough attention to them.  Tradition and modernization are not mutually exclusively and we should strike a balance between them. after all,  without tradition, we can survive, but never thrive.
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