破碎的作业 [羊羊作文小组]

2400UID：2645790

18号的作业 昨天出现幻觉了 以为今天是18号....刚上寄托才发现昨天是18号....
大家拍啊拍啊拍啊拍
Topic 97
Most of us involving in social life are obliged to go to school to learn knowledge from teachers. Thus, teachers play pivotal roles in our education system. However, there comes an argument: whether teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Some people maintain that the more students learn, the more teachers should be paid, while others assert that teachers should not be paid according to how much their students learn. On this controversial issue, my answer is definitely the latter based on the following eloquent demonstrations.

First and foremost, how much students learn depends not only on how much teachers teach, but also on students study ability. We can let Einstein figure out ten sophisticated problems every day, but we may just teach Forrest Gump a easy problem every day. In other words, for most of the time, how much students learn is determined by their IQ. In our high school, students are divided into two groups. Teachers in the group where students have strong study ability spend two years teaching the knowledge that another group where students have weak study ability learn in three years. Should teachers in the second group be paid less than teachers in the first group? Absolutely not, for they all try their best.

In addition, education, in terms of its definition, is a process of input and output, so it takes times and patience. In China, students spend six years in primary schools, six years in junior and high schools, and four years in universities. During these sixteen years, they gain the knowledge gradually. If teachers are paid according to how much their students learn, some teachers will no doubt pour a large quantity of knowledge into their students, which may be difficult for students to assimilate.


So what should we do to evaluate teachers? How much students learn is crucial, but we should also evaluate them on their characters, like patience and tolerance. Meanwhile, we should ask students for the evaluation of their teachers. In a world where knowledge determines value in the job market, where a child in Los Angeles has to compete not just with a child in Boston but also with millions of children in Beijing and Bangalore, teachers is of great importance, since prominent teachers help their students learn better. And only we marry how much students learn to teachers' characters and evaluation from their students can we judge fairly how much a teacher should be paid.

beehomUID：2618919

Most of us involving in social life are obliged to go to school to learn knowledge from teachers. Thus, teachers play pivotal roles in our education system. However, there comes an argument: whether teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Some people maintain that the more students learn, the more teachers should be paid, while others assert that teachers should not be paid according to how much their students learn（可以用students' performances换换）. On this controversial issue, my answer is definitely the latter based on the following eloquent demonstrations.

q9 I6 U$ A
First and foremost, how much students learn depends not only on how much teachers teach, but also on students（不知道要不要加名词所有格） study ability. We can let Einstein figure out ten sophisticated problems every day, but we may just teach Forrest Gump a easy problem every day. In other words, for most of the time, how much students learn is determined by their IQ. In our high school, students are divided into two groups. Teachers in the group where students have strong study ability spend two years teaching the knowledge that another group where students have weak study ability learn in three years. Should teachers in the second group be paid less than teachers in the first group? Absolutely not, for they all try their best.& {  o( V

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In addition, education, in terms of its definition, is a process of input and output, so it takes times（times or time） and patience. In China, students spend six years in primary schools, six years in junior and high schools, and four years in universities. During these sixteen years, they gain the knowledge gradually. If teachers are paid according to how much their students learn, some teachers will no doubt pour a large quantity of knowledge into their students, which may be difficult for students to assimilate.

H2 r
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So what should we do to evaluate teachers? How much students learn is crucial, but(but also 去掉一个) we should also evaluate them on their characters, like patience and tolerance. Meanwhile, we should ask students for the evaluation of their teachers. In a （是不是该用the）world where knowledge determines value in the(a) job market, where a child in Los Angeles has to compete not just with a child in Boston but also with millions of children in Beijing and Bangalore, teachers is of great importance, since prominent teachers help their students learn better. And only we marry (marry为何意，不是很理解)how much students learn to teachers' characters and evaluation from their students can we judge fairly how much a teacher should be paid.

我是chineseladyUID：2662783

我出去下 晚点改 不好意思

我是chineseladyUID：2662783

[Most of us involving in social life are obliged to go to school to learn knowledge from teachers. Thus, teachers play pivotal roles in our education system. However, there comes an argument: whether teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Some people maintain that the more students learn, the more teachers should be paid, while others assert that teachers should not be paid according to how much their students learn. On this controversial issue, my answer is definitely the latter based on the following eloquent demonstrations.( P0 e- e- m. K
- e9 m+ l5 j/ `2 m/ `! F
First and foremost, how much students learn depends not only on how much teachers teach, but also on students study ability. We can let Einstein figure out ten sophisticated problems every day, but we may just teach Forrest Gump a easy problem every day. In other words, for most of the time, how much students learn is determined by their IQ加个学习能力吧总觉得这个IQ很歧视的样子. In our high school, students are divided into two groups. Teachers in the group where students have strong study ability spend two years teaching the knowledge that another group where students have weak study ability learn in three years. Should teachers in the second group be paid less than teachers in the first group? Absolutely not, for they all try their best. 这段落的例子很生动的8 D
In addition, education, in terms of its definition, is a process of input and output, so it takes times and patience. In China, students spend six years in primary schools, six years in junior and high schools, and four years in universities. During these sixteen years, they gain the knowledge gradually. If teachers are paid according to how much their students learn, some teachers will no doubt pour a large quantity of knowledge into their students, which may be difficult for students to assimilate.最后的观点没理解和文章的关系.

So what should we do to evaluate teachers? How much students learn is crucial, but we should also evaluate them on their characters, like patience and tolerance. Meanwhile, we should ask students for the evaluation of their teachers. In a world where knowledge determines value in the job market, where a child in Los Angeles has to compete not just with a child in Boston but also with millions of children in Beijing and Bangalore, teachers is of great importance, since prominent teachers help their students learn better. And only we marry how much students learn to teachers' characters and evaluation from their students can we judge fairly how much a teacher should be paid.给老师评估的貌似走题点. 前面写的不错的. 希望你这次考满分

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b] 1# 2400

2400UID：2645790

8.20的作业 因为7.25的考题我写过了 所以我换一个题目 劳烦两位了嘿嘿

一笔钱 投资环保还是艺术？
Most companies involving in social activities are wiling to make contributions to our society. They donate money to charities, help people struggling in poverty, and help improve the sanitation and so on. However, there comes an argument: whether a company should spend money in supporting art or spend money protecting environment. On this controversial issue, I never remain suspicious that a company should donate money to protect environment based on the following eloquent demonstrations.

First and foremost, it is universally acknowledged that our environment is becoming deteriorating. In my hometown, Taiyuan, an industrial city surrounded by mountains, water pollution and air pollution are severe. The UN, by analyzing statistic, alleges that my hometown is not a proper territory for people to live. My grand father who lives in this city more than 70 years told me that there used to be a brilliant river called Fen River across my hometown. However, with the rapid development of industry, plants directly discharged polluted water in to the river. Little by little, the whole river was polluted, fish and shrimps vanished, and parents no longer take their children there. This reminds me of a famous speech, "How can you sell or buy the sky": "This shining water that moves in streams in not just water but the blood of our ancestor. The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father." And due to the wide use of coal, the sky is gray. When I open my windows just for 3 hours, there must be some dust in my bedroom. On the other hand, impending seriously over us, global warming generated by green house effect let the ice in South Pole and North Pole melt, which may give rise to a calamity to the whole world. Thus, spending money protecting environment is indispensable.

In addition, we all should be aware of the fact that we live not only for ourselves, but also for our generations. Suppose that we pollute the air and water and damage the forest all over the world in the few decades, how can our kids, or our kids' kids, live? The end of living is the beginning of survival, while the end of surviving is extinct.

Although I advocate that protecting environment is of great importance, I do not deny that art also plays a significant role in our society, for art is capable of enriching our mental world and can contribute to the prosperity of our culture. However, with every aspect taken into consideration, compared with the necessity of protecting environment, the importance of art is inappreciable.

ly8768UID：2452066

5# 2400
Most companies involving in social activities are wiling to make contributions to our society. They donate money to charities, help people struggling(struggle) in poverty, and help improve the sanitation and so on. However, there comes an argument: whether a company should spend money in supporting art or spend money protecting environment. On this controversial issue, I never remain suspicious that a company should donate money to protect environment based on the following eloquent demonstrations.

First and foremost, it is universally acknowledged that our environment is becoming deteriorating. In my hometown, Taiyuan, an industrial city surrounded by mountains, water pollution and air pollution are severe. The UN, by analyzing statistic, alleges that my hometown is not a proper territory for people to live. My grand father who lives in this city more than 70 years told me that there used to be a brilliant(这个词用的有问题) river called Fen River across my hometown. However, with the rapid development of industry, plants directly discharged polluted water in to the river. Little by little, the whole river was polluted, fish and shrimps vanished, and parents no longer take their children there. This reminds me of a famous speech, "How can you sell or buy the sky": "This shining water that moves in streams in not just water but the blood of our ancestor. The water's murmur(水的抱怨？) is the voice of my father's father." And due to the wide use of coal, the sky is gray. When I open my windows just for 3 hours, there must be some dust in my bedroom. On the other hand, impending seriously over us, global warming generated by green house effect let the ice in South Pole and North Pole melt, which may give rise to a calamity to the whole world. Thus, spending money protecting environment is indispensable.

你很擅长描写~

In addition, we all should be aware of the fact that we live not only for ourselves, but also for our generations. Suppose that we pollute the air and water and damage the forest all over the world in the few decades, how can our kids, or our kids' kids, live? The end of living is the beginning of survival, while the end of surviving is extinct.

Although I advocate that protecting environment is of great importance, I do not deny that art also plays a significant role in our society, for art is capable of enriching our mental world and can contribute to the prosperity of our culture. However, with every aspect taken into consideration, compared with the necessity of protecting environment, the importance of art is inappreciable.

第二个论点太少了，你可以练习下说理，不过高中生写成这样真的很不错～

2400UID：2645790

谢谢啊羊羊 确实是第2点写的不充分 主要第一点写的太high了 第二点不知道该写什么了。。。。
那个murmur在这可以理解成低声细语的意思

2400UID：2645790

高分120综合作文练习3

In the passage, the author talks about the formation of the Moon. The author believes that the giant-impact theory of the formation of the Moon is in doubt. However, the lecture maintains that that theory is right. And the professor makes several eloquent demonstrations to cast doubt on the passage.

First, the passage alleges that there is no huge mark on the surface of Earth, whereas the professor, holding another view, says that Moon formed 4 billion years ago, and due to the enormous moving of the huge rock plates, the tremendous mark might vanished long ago.

The second point illustrated in the passage is that the make-up of the rocks on the Moon is different compared with that on the Earth. In spite of this view, the lecture asserts that because the Moon exposes in the out space, the temperature on the surface of the Moon is high. Thus, the water evaporated.

In addition, although the reading passage advocates that
the density of the Moon is much lower than that of the Earth. The professor in the lecture uses convictive evidence to convince us that the view in the passage is in doubt. He thinks that the make-up of the Moon was from the surface of the Earth. Hence, it is more significant to compare the density of the Moon to the density of the surface of the Earth, not to the core of the Earth. And evidence shows that the density of the Moon is nearly the same as that of the surface of the Earth.

第二点偏了 应该是  the Moon is formed due to the collision, so the heat generated by the collision might cause the entire Moon molten. And thus, the water in the moon evaporated.

julydeskyUID：2619508

In the  reading   passage, the author talks about the formation of the Moon. The author believes that the giant-impact theory of the formation of the Moon is in doubt doubtful. However, the lecture maintains that that  用 the  是不是 清楚点？theory is right  [convincing] . And the professor makes several eloquent demonstrations to cast doubt on the passage.
First, the passage alleges that there is no huge mark[ has been found ] on the surface of [the]Earth, whereas the professor, holding another view, [says不要吧？] that the Moon [was] formed [over]4 billion years ago, and due to the [enormous moving 哈哈  哈哈 笑死我了````巨大的, 极大的, 庞大的凶暴的, 罪大恶极的运动？ durative movement   你本来是想说 地壳运动嘛？of the Earth's crust   / durative diastrophism

]of the huge rock plates, the [tremendous 文中这个词是形容变化的 在这里又用来形容 impact 我读着不爽  你可以有保留意见的]mark might vanished long ago.
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The second point illustrated in the passage is that the make-up of the rocks on the Moon is different compared with that on the Earth. In spite of this view, the lecture asserts that because the Moon [exposes in the out space原应讲错啦  自己看去```], the temperature on the surface of the Moon is  [extremely] high. Thus, the water evaporated.
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2 v3 [# K6 s) l- H* f; K9 C8 Y& LIn addition, although the reading passage advocates that
' U; P" A6 Q, tthe density of the Moon is much lower than that of the Earth. The [the] professor in the lecture uses convictive evidence to convince [两个连续的````实时写作所以就原谅你了]us that the view in the passage is in doubt. He thinks that the make-up of the Moon was from the surface of the Earth. Hence, it is more significant[logical] to compare the density of the Moon to [with]the density of the surface of the Earth, not to the core of the Earth. And evidence shows that the density of the Moon is nearly the same as that of the surface of the Earth.* A. K% K. K) I

9 n5 N3 z1 p  Z( h# m" \第二点偏了 应该是  the Moon is formed due to the collision, so the heat generated by the collision might cause the entire Moon molten. And thus, the water in the moon evaporated.8错8 措````表扬````

2400UID：2645790

哎 第一点有的词听差了 第二点偏了 不行啊 还得提高.....