2009 进军美利坚作文组 8.22 综合写作

ly8768UID: 2452066

13# penergy

People' opinion varies from person to person(individual好点). Some people agree with the statement that letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship. Others are not. From the point of my view, this(it) thing should depend on different friends and distinct situations.

To different people(这种说法好像没怎么见过), we should use different ways to express our opinion, or sometimes do not say anything. If a person has a large tolerance to accept the criticism, we can give he(him) or she(her) some sincere suggestion when he or she makes mistakes. If we meet with a person who are easy to get angry when we criticize him or her, we should let this friend make a mistake.And after that this person will ask you for help.In this moment, we can give our tips.

To different situations, we also should understand when we can make a comment and when we are obliged to become a dumb. According to a scientific research, people who are delighted or happy by some good things, we can get more accesses to warn them against making a mistake.On the contrary, if people are in bad feelings, the chance that they accept your suggestions and criticism will become low.

However, there is an special situation that the friend is your closest one of your friend's circle. You must give your best suggestion and warning he or she as fast as you can. This is your responsiblity because he or she trust you as his or her company.In return of this trust, your sincere and in-time criticism is somewhat like a medicine to keep your friends from making mistakes.

For instance, once my best friend Joe wanted to resign her position,I gave her my suggestion as this job was suitable for her. Althought there had been a possibility that this tip would destory our friendship,I still gave her my initial advice.

In a word, we should use different method according to different situations and persons. This is a good meaning to deal with your friends' affair.

这种写法真奔放，不过考试还是不推荐这样写，毕竟tofel题目还是趋向于比较定势的。要么同意，要么不同意，在分别给出理由。这可不是中国高考作文

penergyUID: 2667830

谢谢machi730、fancyww、杨哥的批改，很到位，很及时严厉地指出了弊端，谢谢各位。

penergyUID: 2667830

8.28作业      音频没怎么听懂，所以有点乱写，经过某人的鼓励，还是交作文吧！！！！


In the lecture, the professor mainly tells us that she disagrees that Tunguska explosion was not caused by an asteroid,but caused by a "swamp gas" explosion.And she cites several reasons to support her opinion.
Firstly, she thinks that the impact of an asteroid explosion can be destroy by the forces of nature for about 19 years. However, the writer holds the opposite opinion that there is no trace at the impact site.What's more the writer takes an example to demonstrate his ideas. But the professor says it is not a proof to prove the his opinion.
Secondly, the writer holds that after the collision, there must be a huge crater.However, there is no trace in Tunguska.The professor also refutes the writer' view.when an asteroid came into low atomsphere, the asteroid exploded into many small fireballs.So there is no trace.
Thirdly,because of the reason we mentioned at the former passage.It is an good explanation to prove that a swampland extending to thousands of kilometers.
In a word, according to the professor's reasons, there are some strong evidence to prove that the Tunguska explosion was caused by an asteroid.

ly8768UID: 2452066

18# penergy

In the lecture, the professor mainly tells us that she disagrees that Tunguska explosion was not caused by an asteroid,but caused by a "swamp gas" explosion. And she cites several reasons to support her opinion.3

Firstly, she thinks that the impact of an asteroid explosion can be destroy by the forces of nature for about 19 years. However, the writer holds the opposite opinion that there is no trace at the impact site.What's more the writer takes an example to demonstrate his ideas. But the professor says it is not a proof to prove the his opinion.


Secondly, the writer holds that after the collision, there must be a huge crater.However, there is no trace in Tunguska.The professor also refutes the writer' view.when an asteroid came into low atomsphere, the asteroid exploded into many small fireballs.So there is no trace.


Thirdly,because of the reason we mentioned at the former passage.It is an good explanation to prove that a swampland extending to thousands of kilometers.



In a word, according to the professor's reasons, there are some strong evidence to prove that the Tunguska explosion was caused by an asteroid.

不说语法问题了，先谈谈文章的问题
我觉得你的观点应该偏向于professor。而且firstly的论点有些论，一会是professor，一会又是author的。
还有二三观点可以再丰富些～

penergyUID: 2667830

8.31的作业。自认为写得还过得去，很批之！！！



The professor argues that the scientists' doubts are unconvincing, which differs from the main idea in the article that prescribed burning does't sound a good practice.
First of all, the professor holds that prescribing burning of prairie can not cause serious air pollution and contributing to global warming.On the contrary, it is benificial to the nature. The remnents of the prescribing burning such as ashes can fertile soil and good to the envirnonment.
Secondly, contradicting what is stated in the reading that prescribed fire can be unpredictable and dangerous. The professor considers that those who carry on the prescribed burning are doing this thing for many years and full of experience and skills. They are all trained well.They know when to fire, where to fire and how to control it.
Finally, the professor states that the expenditure is pretty cheaper than the lost of the destroy of the houses and families. According to the statistic cited by the professor, we know that the lost of the fire disasters is ten times of the cost to prescribe fire.
As mentioned, it is easy to make a summary that the scientists' doubts are unvalid and we can take advantage of the prescribed fire because of its benifit to environment.The prescribed fires are affordable and safe to the governments.

penergyUID: 2667830

还有谢谢杨哥的点播，我还要努力！！！

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

The professor argues that the scientists' doubts are unconvincing, which differs from the main idea in the article that prescribed burning does't sound a good practice.
很简洁的开头.
First of all, the professor holds that prescribing burning of prairie can not cause serious air pollution and contributing to global warming.On the contrary, it is benificial to the nature. The remnents of the prescribing burning such as ashes 这里我写的不对can fertile soil and good--benefit or be good to virnonment.

lSecondly, contradicting what is stated in the reading that prescribed fire can be unpredictable and dangerous. The professor considers that those who carry on the prescribed burning are doing this thing for many years and full of experience and skills. They are all trained well.They know when to fire, where to fire and how to control it 有些句子都是直接借鉴过来的, 适当用自己的词也不错

Finally, the professor states that the expenditure is pretty cheaper than the lost of the destroy of the houses and families. According to the statistic cited by the professor, we know that the lost of the fire disasters is ten times of the cost to prescribe fire

s mentioned, it is easy to make a summary that the scientists' doubts are unvalid and we can take advantage of the prescribed fire because of its benifit to environment.The prescribed fires are affordable and safe to the governments.每段落都很简洁的样子, 不知道字数是多少, 多写些也可以吧. 语法还好的, 没什么毛病.

penergyUID: 2667830

9.2的作业



The professor argues that the advances in technology,a stronger legal protection for private property and saving the costs are not the main factors to shift the cottage production to the factory-based intdustry,which differs from the main idea in the text.

First of all, the professor holds that the advances in technology is not the primary cause.The real cause is that the producer concerned the payment of hiring more workers.But the reading material  holds an opposite idea.

Secondly,contradicting what is stated in the reading that the establishment of a stronger legal protection for private property was a big cause the professor considers that a stronger legal protection for private property was not successful in the whole Europe Continent.The professor cites an example that the campain for a stronger legal protection for private property failed in the end. It is a best instant to support the professor' opinion.

Finally, the professor states that conducting a factory-based industry housed in cotton mills can not save the costs.Although it can somewhat save some expenditure in transpotation, the sum of buying a land and building a factory is not a small number.It should require a lot of money.
As mentioned above, it is easy to make a conclusion that the three reason mentioned in the reading material can not support the idea in the text.However, the professor refutes the supports in the text are really correct.

penergyUID: 2667830

9.3作文，没思路？？？


I agree with the statement that the old friends' suggestions are more important and valuable than the advice given by the friends with the same age.

First of all, old friends are full of experience. They have undergone hundreds of different things and face with distinct situations. When we meet with some difficulty and are puzzled about this things, our old friends can give their best suggestions which can ease me. For example, if I fall in love with a girl and it is difficult for me to express my affection to her, my old friend will help me and advice me how to deal with this things. Moreover, they will plan something for me to improve the relationship between the girl I love and me.On the contrary, my younger friends have no this experineces and can not give me some help.

Secondly, old friends' suggestions are more thoughtful than the ones given by my peers. old friends will take everything into consideration. After a considerable thinking, they will give me a help in details.I think it is of  great importance. So i prefer to take my old friends' advice.

What's more, although the advice from my peers are innovationary and contains something new, this advice has some risks.For instance, my friend Peter is a businessman and he has his own company. Once a friend of his told him that doing stock busieness was very popular and the benefit were also considerate. His young friend suggest him several stocks.And then Peter can not resist the temptation. He invested in the stock market.As a consequence, he failed in it. So sometimes we should not take our young friends' suggestions in spite of their kindness.

In a word, I prefer to take my old friends' suggestions than the ones from the youth because of their consideration and their responsibility.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

agree with the statement that the old friends' suggestions are more important and valuable than the advice given by the friends with the same age. 开头很酷的啊!

of all, old friends are full of experience. They have undergone好 hundreds of different things and face with distinct situations. When we meet with some difficulty and are puzzled about this things--about this situations 避免重复, our old friends-->friends who are older than us 否则认为是老朋友 can give their best suggestions which can ease me. For example, if I fall in love with如果没确定关系have feeling to比较好 a girl and it is difficult for me to express my affection to her, my old friend will help me and advice me how to deal with this things. Moreover, they will plan something for me to improve the relationship between the girl I love-->have feeling to or like(没相处就爱...假) and me.On the contrary, my younger friends have no this experineces and can not give me some help

Secondly, old friends' suggestions are more thoughtful-->friends are more thoughtful to give suggestions than the ones given by my peers. old friends will take everything into consideration好的. After a considerable thinking, they will give me a help in details.I think it is of  great importance. So i prefer to take my old friends' advice.9 z. f/ P$ O" [4 S( P
% @: e8 X8 t( B% w
What's more, although the advice from my peers are innovationary and contains something new, this advice has some risks.For instance, my friend Peter is a businessman and he has his own company. Once a friend of his told him that doing stock busieness was very popular and the benefit were also considerate好的. His young friend suggest him several stocks.And then Peter can not resist the temptation-->朋友建议怎又是诱惑... He invested in the stock market.As a consequence, he failed in it. So sometimes we should not take our young friends' suggestions in spite of their kindnes 多少有点绝对.

In a word, I prefer to take my old friends' suggestions than the ones from the youth because of their consideration and their responsibility.有的地方细节化, 可以简化些. 字数蛮多的

ly8768UID: 2452066

24# penergy

I agree with the statement that the old friends' suggestions are more important and valuable than the advice given by the friends with(of) the same age.

First of all, old friends are full of experience. They have undergone hundreds of different things and face with distinct situations. When we meet with some difficulty and are puzzled about this things(thing), our old friends can give their best suggestions which can ease me. For example, if I fall in love with a girl and it is difficult for me to express my affection to her, my old friend will help me and advice me how to deal with this things. Moreover, they will plan something for me to improve the relationship between the girl I love and me. On the contrary, my younger friends have no this experiences and can not(cannot) give me some help.

这个年轻的朋友不一定在恋爱方面没经验

Secondly, old friends' suggestions are more thoughtful than the ones given by my peers. old friends will take everything into consideration. After a considerable thinking, they will give me a help in details. I think it is of great importance. So I prefer to take my old friends' advice.

What's more, although the advice from my peers are(is) innovationary and contains something new, this advice has some risks. For instance, my friend Peter is a businessman and he has his own company. Once a friend of his told him that doing stock busieness(business) was very popular and the benefit were also considerate. His young friend suggest him several stocks. And then Peter can not(cannot) resist the temptation. He invested in the stock market. As a consequence, he failed in it. So sometimes we should not take our young friends' suggestions in spite of their kindness.

In a word, I prefer to take my old friends' suggestions than the ones from the youth because of their consideration and their responsibility.\

第一个观点的例子举的不恰当
第二个观点内容太少缺少细节
注意错别字

penergyUID: 2667830

9.5 作文

A teacher is known to give students more skills and establish a good relationship with students.Therefore,in my perspective,as a teacher , the ability to establish a good relationship with students and imparting students knowledge are both very important.

On one hand, expressing the knowledge clearly is a basic skill for a teacher.If a teacher can not state a certain theory or explain a term clearly, students will not get a good understanding,or somwhat they will misconceive the knowledge. As a result, students don't trust their teacher and their teacher's respect will not be erected.

Furthermore, if a teacher has not a good command in his or her field, he or she will lead their students to an opposite way.Sometimes they will influence their students acadamic performance.So a teacher should put more emphasis on his or her educational skills. As a tutor or considered to be a mentor, teachers should have a responsiblity to teach their students in their best way.

On the another hand,although teaching is a basic skill for a teacher, the ability of establishing a good relationship with students is not obliaged to be ignored.As mentioned as the famous educational instiution says,almost 80% professors have a good relationship with their students. They also make friends with their students and students prefer to insult them for a suggertion about all aspects around their life.

From the reasons I write above, we can make a conclusion that teaching students and getting well along with students are interacted.If a teacher will have a good understanding of knowledge and also express it clearly ,yet be disable to get along well with their students,he or she will not be succsessful. On the contrary, the situation is the same.

In sum, I holds that good teaching and the ability to establish a good relationship with students are both of great significance.

goback211UID: 2419259

A teacher is known to give students moreskills and establish a good relationship with students. Therefore, in myperspective, as a teacher, the ability to establish a good relationship withstudents and imparting(impart) studentsknowledge are both very important.
On one hand, expressing the knowledgeclearly is a basic skill for a teacher. If a teacher can not state a certaintheory or explain a term clearly, students will not get a good understanding, orsomwhat(somewhat) they will misconceive theknowledge. As a result, students don't trust theirteacher and their teacher's respect will not be erected.(这个结果不太流畅，改成对学生以后的学习造成影响比较好；有teacher’s respect这一说法么？)
Furthermore, if a teacher has not a good command(想表达什么意思，这个词不合适吧) in his or her field, he or she will lead their students to an opposite way(这个太绝对了吧，没到相反的地步). Sometimes they will influence their students acadamic(academic) performance. So a teacher shouldput more emphasis on his or her educational skills. As a tutor or considered tobe a mentor, teachers should have a responsiblity(responsibility)to teach their students in their best way.
On the another(other)hand, although teaching is a basic skill for a teacher, the ability ofestablishing a good relationship with students isnot obliaged(obligatory) to be ignored(直接说can not beignored吧). As mentioned as thefamous educational instiution(institution) says,almost 80% professors have a good relationship with their students. They alsomake friends with their students and students prefer to insult(consult吧，你看看insult是啥意思…) them for a suggertion(suggestion)about all aspects around their life(lives).
From the reasons I write above, we can makea conclusion that teaching students and getting well along with students are interacted(interact with each other).If ateacher will have a good understanding of knowledge and also express it clearly,yet be disable(disabled) to get along well withtheir students, he or she will not be succsessful(successful). On the contrary,the situation is the same.
In sum, I holds(hold)that good teaching and the ability to establish a good relationship withstudents are both of great significance.
段落倒是不少，但是内容有点欠缺。首先来看，整篇文章例子有点少，只有80%那个，其余几段读起来太干涩了。其次，倒数第二段实际内容不多，完全可以并到最后一段。还有，单词错误要注意，选词上也要多训练一下

yooooooUID: 2411238

A teacher is known to give students more skills and establish(s) a good relationship with students.Therefore,in my perspective,as a teacher , the ability to establish a good relationship with students and imparting students knowledge are both very important.

On one hand, expressing the knowledge clearly is a basic skill for a teacher.If a teacher can not state a certain theory or explain a term clearly, students will not get a good understanding,or somwhat they will misconceive the knowledge. As a result, students don't trust their teacher and their teacher's respect will not be erected.

Furthermore, if a teacher has not a good command in his or her field, he or she will lead their students to an opposite way.Sometimes they will influence their students acadamic performance.So a teacher should put more emphasis on his or her educational skills. As a tutor or considered to be a mentor, teachers should have a responsiblity to teach their students in their best way.

On the another hand,although teaching is a basic skill for a teacher, the ability of establishing a good relationship with students is not obliaged to be ignored.As mentioned as the famous educational instiution says,almost 80% professors have a good relationship with their students. They also make friends with their students and students prefer to insult them for a suggertion about all aspects around their life.

From the reasons I write above, we can make a conclusion that teaching students and getting well along with students are interacted.If a teacher will have a good understanding of knowledge and also express it clearly ,yet be disable to get along well with their students,he or she will not be succsessful. On the contrary, the situation is the same.

In sum, I holds that good teaching and the ability to establish a good relationship with students are both of great significance.

恩 是有些范 加油～

yooooooUID: 2411238

另外 连词太单调了