=七月流火=小组第3次小组作业 Argument167by knx1029

knx1029UID: 2609556

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
WORDS: 417          TIME: 00:29:15          DATE: 2009/8/23 11:21:17

       In this argument, the author claims that the scent in lavender flowers could effectively cures insomnia. To back up this claim, he cite a recent study, in which 30 volunteers spent three weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows. Careful examination of this evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the author's conclusion. Reasons are stated as follows.
     In the first place, the reliability of the study is open to doubt, considering its quantity. The number of participants involved in the study, 30, seems to constitute such a small group that their responses to the scent may not be representative. Insomnia is as one of the most commonly got ailment.  From the research conducted by the hospitals, which indicates that with the increasing pressure and burden on people, there should be  thousands of people for suffered insomnia, it is reasonable to doubt that the 30 volunteers' reports cannot reflect the general responses to the lavender scent. Unless the study is re-conducted involving more participants, I will remain doubtful about the typicalness of result.
      In the second place, the study is conducted without a control group or contrast experiment. To be specific, the author supply no information about the volunteers'feeling when they sleep on the non-scented pillows. Lacking such evidence, perhaps the volunteers' feeling may still be alleviated in the last week because the dependency of medicine they had gradually developed has disappeared according to the medical research. To reach the cited conclusion, the study should be conducted in more controlled environment to convince me about the actual influence of the scent.
      In the third place, the author's conclusion about the effectiveness of the scent rests on the assumption that all the factors except taking sleeping medicine remains constant during these three weeks. Nonetheless, the assumption is a weak one, since the author fails to provide evidence to confirm it. It is entirely possible that in the first two weeks, the volunteers took  more strenuous exercise and worked even harder than they did in the last week. For that matter, the tiredness and sleeping may not be affected by the scent. Without accounting for this possibility, the author cannot confidently draw any conclusion about the benefit of the scent in lavender.
      To sum up, the argument is not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the author should reason more convincingly, cite more persuasive evidence, and take every possibility into consideration.

dongzhi428UID: 2556730

       In this argument, the author claims that the scent in lavender flowers could effectively cures insomnia. To back up this claim, he cites a recent study, in which 30 volunteers spent three weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows. Careful examination of this evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the author's conclusion. Reasons are stated as follows.
     In the first place, the reliability of the study is open to doubt, considering its quantity. The number of participants involved in the study, 30,（我感觉这么用肯定不对）
seems to constitute such a small group that their responses to the scent may not be representative. Insomnia is as one of the most commonly got ailment.  From the research conducted by the hospitals, which indicates that with the increasing pressure and burden on people, there should be thousands of people for suffered（may suffer from） insomnia, it is reasonable to doubt that the 30 volunteers' reports cannot reflect the general responses to the lavender scent. Unless the study is re-conducted involving more participants, I will remain doubtful about the typicalness of result？.(这一段一直围绕30人，有点论点不足的感觉，而且要注意定冠词和助动词的使用)
      In the second place, the study is conducted without a control group or contrast experiment. To be specific, the author supplies no information about the volunteers’ feeling when they sleep on the non-scented pillows. Lacking such evidence, perhaps the volunteers' feeling may still be alleviated in the last week because the dependency of medicine they had gradually developed has disappeared according to the medical research.（没太看懂， 我觉得语法错误，作者再检查一下，而且这样的复杂句没有什么难度反而增加阅读者困难，建议不要使用）
To reach the cited conclusion, the study should be conducted in more controlled environment to convince me about the actual influence of the scent.
      In the third place, the author's conclusion about the effectiveness of the scent rests on the assumption that all the factors except taking sleeping medicine remains constant during these three weeks.（还是长句的语义问题） Nonetheless, the assumption is a weak one？, since the author fails to provide evidence to confirm it. It is entirely possible that in the first two weeks, the volunteers took more strenuous exercise and worked even harder than they did in the last week. For that matter, the tiredness and sleeping may not be affected by the scent. Without accounting for this possibility, the author cannot confidently draw any conclusion about the benefit of the scent in lavender.
      To sum up, the argument is not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the author should reason more convincingly, cite more persuasive evidence, and take every possibility into consideration.（结尾段一定要加入如何让ARU变得合理，这样的结尾尽管节省时间，但是我觉得一定没分的）

ARU小结：鄙人知识浅薄，略提一二，见谅
1．我觉得作者没必要为了写出复杂的句子而苦恼，因为我感觉笔者的语法上存在一定问题（和我一样：） ，GRE不是语言考试 最重要的是说清楚，一定不要弄巧成拙
2．笔者时间把握的很好（我到现在还写不完）但是论证并不充分（仅此文）
因为大量套句掩盖了论点，基本上没段谈论问题的句子都不超过2。3句，结尾一句没有，大多是说作者不够全面，不合理，却没有解释清楚问题，可以考虑展开，划兰色的文字就是我所说要展开的部分）

knx1029UID: 2609556

       In this argument, the author claims that the scent in lavender flowers could effectively cures insomnia. To back up this claim, he cites a recent study, in which 30 volunteers spent three weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows. Careful examination of this evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the author's conclusion. Reasons are stated as follows.
     In the first place, the reliability of the study is open to doubt, considering its quantity. The number of participants involved in the study, 30,
seems to constitute such a small group that their responses to the scent may not be representative. Insomnia is as one of the most
common
ailment people get. From the research conducted by the hospitals, which indicate that with the increasing pressure and burden on people, there should be thousands of people who may suffer from insomnia, it is reasonable to doubt that the 30 volunteers' reports cannot reflect the general responses to the lavender scent. Unless the study is re-conducted involving more participants, I will remain doubtful about the
typicalness of result.
      In the second place, the study is conducted without a control group or contrast experiment to confirm the effectiveness of the scent. To be specific, the author supplies no information about the volunteers’ feeling when they sleep on the non-scented pillows. Lacking such evidence, perhaps the volunteers' feeling may
still be alleviated in the last week without smelling the scent because of the continuing effectiveness of the sleeping pills. This scenario, if true, will undoubtedly undermine the author's assertion. To reach the cited conclusion, the study should be conducted in more controlled environment to convince me about the actual influence of the scent.
      In the third place, the author's conclusion about the effectiveness of the scent rests on the assumption that
all the factors, except the taking of sleeping medicine, remains constant during these three weeks.
Nonetheless, the author fails to provide evidence to confirm this crucial point. It is entirely possible that in the first two weeks,
the volunteers took more strenuous exercise and worked harder than they did in the last week. Therefore they felt stressful and tired when sleeping. For that matter, the tiredness might
not result from smelling the scent but the influence of their daily activities. Another possibility is that in the first two weeks the volunteers felt uncomfortable about sleeping in a monitored room. But they gradually adapted themselves to the circumstances in the last week. In this case, the longer sleeping hours in last week had nothing to do with the scent. Without accounting for these possibilities, the author cannot confidently draw any conclusion about the benefit of the scent in lavender.
      To sum up, the argument is not based on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the author should reason more convincingly about the influence of the scent, cite more persuasive evidence, and take every possible factors that affect the volunteers' sleeping quality into consideration.

我觉得整个argu的问题都在于这个Study。如果你不能把这个study的问题都分好类讨论，恐怕不行吧。