0910AW同主题写作第一期Issue13 by dacongfan

dacongfanUID：2644717

13. Many of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

According to the speaker, many of the world’s languages are disappearing for the reason that fewer and fewer people in the world now speak them. Also the author suggests that government with the endangered languages should take some actions in order that the extinction be prevented. In my point of view, I totally agree with what the speaker asserts. In the following are some reasons which can fullu substantiate it.

The development of science and technology is to some degree the cause of the extinction of languages which is less known to the majority of people in the world. With the advent of such new devices as television, vedio etc., people in the rural or isolated parts of the world are provided with the chance to learn the world outside. Yet the prerequisite for they to understand the outside world is that they must understand the language which is used to describe it, therefore incurred the situation that more and more people in the rural areas are starting to learn the internationally used language like English and so on, and thus indirectly caused the extinction of local languages.

Another factor contributing to the loss of the languages is the development eagerly seeked by the undeveloped countries and the third-world countries. The third-world countries, in order to improve the countries’s economical power and political status among the world, must cooperate with the developed world while language, just as what I mentioned in the above paragraph, is the chief obstacle that they must overwhelm. In addition, with the prosperity of the worldwide business, it is essential for the appearance of the internationally used language. As time goes on, the more people speak the universal language, the more languages become extinct.

In view of the more and more endangered languages, the nations with those languages should take some effective steps to prevent the extinction. Simply put, as we all know that language, like other unrenewable resources, is the rare cultural heritage generated by our great ancestors. The history of language is in fact the history of our human being in that it is the appearance of language that made it possible the appearance of human. Besides, the protection of the language is virtually the protection of our culture and tradition as most cultures are embodied in the form of language. One apt illustration of this point involves the songs of minorities in China, many of which are becoming more and more endangered with the extinction of languages.

In the final analysis, we human being, as the most gifted animals in the earth, should take some efective measures, if possible, to slow down the extinction of languages spoken by fewer and fewer people. After all, it is language which records the history of our human being and which made our comfortable living in the world possible.

彩虹沙漠UID：2328322

1# dacongfan
谢谢你对我那篇argu的批改。其实我准备AW差不多5天的样子。你看到的那篇文章是我在不限时的情况完成的，不怕你笑话，差不多用了1个小时吧。至于issue我今天刚开始看。所以先不能给你改，不过我先把它考下来，等觉得时机差不多的时候再给你提点意见。
关于argu我看了一些北美范文，确实觉得模板气太重，因为之前那个习作没做时间限制所以就按自己的想法写了。不知道到了限时的时候会不会也沦为模板一族了！
一起加油吧。by the way，你什么时候在哪机考？

dacongfanUID：2644717

我7.24在西安，你呢

彩虹沙漠UID：2328322

3# dacongfan
哈，我7.23，哈尔滨~~~

彩虹沙漠UID：2328322

你的这篇习作我看了下，感觉最大的问题不是语言，而是论证不足，文章好像在陈述事实一样。要不你把Q给我，咱回来有什么问题Q上讨论？感觉ISSUE还是不太容易搞定的~

dacongfanUID：2644717

好的，我的qq是49354951

wswjwjUID：2624688

0910AW同主题写作第一期Issue13 by dacongfan
13. Many of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.


According to the speaker, many of the world’s languages are disappearing for the reason that fewer and fewer people in the world now speak them. Also the author suggests that government with the endangered languages should take some actions in order that the extinction is prevented. In my point of view, I totally agree with what the speaker asserts. In the following are some reasons which can fully substantiate it.
The development of science and technology is to some degree the cause of the extinction of languages which is less known to the majority of people in the world. With the advent of such new devices as television, vedio etc., people in the rural or isolated parts of the world are provided with the chance to learn the world outside. Yet the prerequisite for they to understand the outside world is that they must understand the language which is used to describe it, therefore incurred the situation that more and more people in the rural areas are starting to learn the internationally used language like English and so on, and thus indirectly caused the extinction of local languages.（用中文很好说，这段英语写的特别漂亮~ 我的中国英语啊TT）
Another factor contributing to the loss of the languages is the development eagerly sought（seek的过去式和完成式） by the undeveloped countries and the third-world countries. The third-world countries, in order to improve the countries’（这个错误应该注意下，自己老犯^^） economical power and political status among the world, must cooperate with the developed world while language, just as what I mentioned in the above paragraph, is the chief obstacle that they must overwhelm. In addition, with the prosperity of the worldwide business, it is essential for the appearance of the internationally used language. As time goes on, the more people speak the universal language, the more languages become extinct.
In view of the more and more endangered languages, the nations with those languages should take some effective steps to prevent the extinction. Simply put, as we all know that language, like other unrenewable resources, is the rare cultural heritage generated by our great ancestors. The history of language is in fact the history of our human being in that it is the appearance of language that made it possible the appearance of human. Besides, the protection of the language is virtually the protection of our culture and tradition as most cultures are embodied in the form of language. One apt illustration of this point involves the songs of minorities in China, many of which are becoming more and more endangered with the extinction of languages.
In the final analysis, we human being, as the most gifted animals in the earth, should take some efective measures, if possible, to slow down the extinction of languages spoken by fewer and fewer people. After all, it is language which records the history of our human being and which made our comfortable living in the world possible.
哎呀，太崇拜你的文笔了，写的这么真的超级短小精悍，太佩服了~ 不过 那个那个 你没有提到government啊~ 我觉得这篇文章唯一小小的瑕疵~~ 还是很崇拜你的单词量和语法 能教教我不^^

xiayinUID：2458839

According to the speaker, many of the world’s languages are disappearing for the reason that fewer and fewer people in the world now speak them. Also the author suggests that government with the endangered languages should take some actions in order that the extinction be prevented. In my point of view, I totally agree with what the speaker asserts. In the following are some reasons which can fullu（fully） substantiate it.（个人认为这个开头argument味道太重了，没有做引子的感觉）

The development of science and technology is to some degree the cause of the extinction of languages which is less known to the majority of people in the world. With the advent of such new devices as （new devises such as顺口点）television, vedio（video） etc., people in the rural or isolated parts of the world are provided with the chance to learn the world outside. Yet the prerequisite for they to understand the outside world is that they must understand the language which is used to describe it, therefore incurred the situation that more and more people in the rural areas are starting to learn the internationally used language like English and so on, and thus indirectly caused the extinction of local languages.（这个转的太快了点吧，学习别人语言就立即等于丧失自己的语言，论述的不太充分）

Another factor contributing to the loss of the languages is the development eagerly seeked by the undeveloped countries and the third-world countries. （原因是“发展”还是“求发展的国家”？）The third-world countries, in order to improve the countries’s（countries’ 用their不就好了吗，重复了） economical power and political status among the world, must cooperate with the developed world while language, just as what I mentioned in the above paragraph,（as prescribed） is the chief obstacle that they must overwhelm. In addition, with the prosperity of the worldwide business, it is essential for the appearance of the internationally used language. As time goes on, the more people speak the universal language, the more languages become extinct.(一样，论述的还是比较抽象，没有说服力。举例子，或者更细致的把universal language怎么替代的过程描述下吧)

In view of the more and more endangered languages, the nations with those languages should take some effective steps to prevent the extinction. Simply put, as we all know that language, like other unrenewable resources, is the rare cultural heritage generated by our great ancestors. The history of language is in fact the history of our human being in that it is the appearance of language that made it possible the appearance of human. Besides, the protection of the language is virtually the protection of our culture and tradition as most cultures are embodied in the form of language. One apt illustration of this point involves the songs of minorities in China, many of which are becoming more and more endangered with the extinction of languages.

In the final analysis, we human being, as the most gifted animals in the earth, should take some efective measures, if possible, to slow down the extinction of languages spoken by fewer and fewer people. After all, it is language which records the history of our human being and which made our comfortable living in the world possible. （空话啊，没有什么实际意义）




感觉文章有想法但是还是没有什么具体的论证手段。希望和楼主一起找资料，提高水平O(∩_∩)O~

hahalalaUID：2613918

According to the speaker, many of the world’s languages are disappearing for the reason that fewer and fewer people in the world now speak them. Also the author suggests that government with the endangered languages should take some actions in order that the extinction be prevented. In my point of view, I totally agree with what the speaker asserts. In the following are some reasons which can fullu substantiate it.
The development of science and technology is to some degree the cause of the extinction of languages which is less known to the majority of people in the world. With the advent of such new devices as television, vedio etc., people in the rural or isolated parts of the world are provided with the chance to learn the world outside（我个人认为这句话是有问题的，新设备的出现不见得会导致偏远地区人们就有了认识世界的机会，，如果要这样说的话，建议改成设备的大面积普及~）.
Yet the prerequisite for they to understand the outside world is that they must understand the language which is used to describe it, therefore incurred the situation that more and more people in the rural areas are starting（start就可以了） to learn the internationally used language like English and so on, and thus indirectly caused the extinction of local languages.（学习新语言≠当地语言消失，论证不充分）
Another factor contributing to the loss of the languages is the development eagerly seeked（seek的过去式和过去分词是sought） by the undeveloped（改成developing） countries and the third-world countries.（删） The third-world countries（改为these countries）, in order to improve the countries’s economical power and political status among the world, must cooperate with the developed world while language, just as what I mentioned in the above paragraph, is the chief obstacle that they must overwhelm. In addition, with the prosperity of the worldwide business, it is essential for the appearance of the internationally used language. As time goes on, the more people speak the universal language, the more languages become extinct.（使用同一语言≠自己的语言不能继续存在）
In view of the more and more endangered languages, the nations with those languages should take some effective steps to prevent the extinction. Simply put, as we all know that language, like other unrenewable resources, is the rare cultural heritage generated by our great ancestors. The history of language is in fact the history of our human being in that it is the appearance of language that made it possible the appearance of human（这句话不太明白哦~）. Besides, the protection of the language is virtually the protection of our culture and tradition as most cultures are embodied in the form of language. One apt illustration of this point involves the songs of minorities in China（我觉得这个例子超棒~）, many of which are becoming more and more endangered with the extinction of languages.
In the final analysis, we human being, as the most gifted animals in the earth, should take some efective measures（建议简略举例一二）, if possible, to slow down the extinction of languages spoken by fewer and fewer people. After all, it is language which records the history of our human being and which made our comfortable living in the world possible（为什么呢？）.

【茕茕改文心得】
这篇文章有的例子还是不错哒~
但是，我有几点建议：
1、注意单词拼写规则~有的是打字的问题，但有的确实是基础不够扎实~~
2、注意行文语言简练
3、开头结尾有明显的套用范文的嫌疑~~~以后要逐渐尽量避免哦~
4、逻辑存在一些问题，有些在文中已标出。。。另外，你举出的两个主要原因实质上都是全球化带来的问题~且忽视了语言消亡的内部因素~（马克思爷爷说内因是根本，外因通过内因起作用~~~因此内因十分重要呀~）

以上是我的一点看法~有不对的地方要告诉我呀O(∩_∩)O~欢迎互相交流哈~https://bbs.gter.net/thread-959285-1-1.html
另外，由于前一段时间期末考试没有及时修改你的文章十分抱歉哈~~

加油！

hahalalaUID：2613918

3# dacongfan 我8月24在西安~~哈