issue130 【火箭 小组】第二次作业

serene777UID: 2478926

Issue130   How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
现在孩子的社会化程度决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会教孩子怎么样去建设一个更好的社会。

The children today determines the destiny of society. However, is the socialization of children that crucial as to become a determine factor, as the speaker asserts? How to raise children who can help bring about a better society?
  Admittedly, the importance of socialize children is impeachable. In a society where cooperation prevails, it's a trend that those who excels at communicating and lining up a group are contributing a lot. Nevertheless, we should also acknowledge other factors that render a complete human. Good  interpersonal skills have a positive effect only on the basis of self-integrity. President Nixon had shown his talent as a leader ever since his youth. His social skills and his eloquence did help him to become a president, however, his cheating behavior not only resulted in his disgrace resignation, but also brought America into a divisive nadir. Socializing children is a necessity , but it doesn't deserve the first place.
  In my opinion, educators should also teach children to know themselves at the very beginning. Once the children have a introversion on themselves, they can have better knowledge about their position, they can know their merits and defects better. Once they learn better about themselves, they can tap their potential to the most extent, thus they will be clearer about how to serve the world. In short, while children need to be socialized, they should also know who they are. There's no denying that Bill Gates rocks the world and his legend of building a software empire has inspired millions. However, he's not a gregarious person at first. Much of his university life is spent playing cards instead of taking parties. You can hardly link a now predominant business figure with a then slouchy student, but it's also universally acknowledged that his success lies in his ability to see himself as well as the trend of the world. Socialization is just an aftermath.
  Also, I reserve the author's pessimistic assertion that we haven't been clear how to raise children who can bring about a better society. Our schools have already set a comprehensive curriculum since elementary level. We have basic-skills training such as maths, reading, history, etc. We have electives that meet diverse interests of children like chemistry, biology, philosophy, and so forth. And we have classes that show concern for the current world affairs. At the same time, though, the society, especially the mass media should take the responsibility to steer their voice for the development of children.
  We need socialized children in a more and more interconnected world, however, we need far more than that. The ultimate goal of education will always be to accomplish a child.

[ 本帖最后由 serene777 于 2008-6-10 21:05 编辑 ]

闹闹喵UID: 2500331

The children today determines the destiny of society. However, is the socialization of children that crucial as to become a determine factor, as the speaker asserts? How to raise children who can help bring about a better society？（这一句出现的很突然，最好前后加点过渡）
  Admittedly, the importance of socialize children is impeachable. In a society where cooperation prevails, it's a trend that those who excels at communicating and lining up a group are contributing a lot. Nevertheless, we should also acknowledge other factors that render a complete human. Good  interpersonal skills have a positive effect only on the basis of self-integrity. President Nixon had shown his talent as a leader ever since his youth. His social skills and his eloquence did help him to become a president, however, his cheating behavior not only resulted in his disgrace resignation, but also brought America into a divisive nadir. （例子用得很好，但是并没有说明白Nixon的cheating behaviour是怎样导致了不好的结果，不过因为是我本人比较不熟悉美国历史才有这样的疑问，老美应该没有问题）Socializing children is a necessity , but it doesn't deserve the first place.
  In my opinion, educators should also teach children to know themselves at the very beginning. Once the children have a introversion on themselves, they can have better knowledge about their position, they can know their merits and defects better. Once they learn better about themselves, they can tap their potential to the most extent, thus they will be clearer about how to serve the world. In short, while children need to be socialized, they should also know who they are. There's no denying that Bill Gates rocks the world and his legend of building a software empire has inspired millions. However, he's not a gregarious person at first. Much of his university life is spent playing cards instead of taking parties. You can hardly link a now predominant business figure with a then slouchy student, but it's also universally acknowledged that his success lies in his ability to see himself as well as the trend of the world. Socialization is just an aftermath.这一段的例证很赞！
  Also, I reserve the author's pessimistic assertion that we haven't been clear how to raise children who can bring about a better society. Our schools have already set a comprehensive curriculum since elementary level. We have basic-skills training such as maths, reading, history, etc. We have electives that meet diverse interests of children like chemistry, biology, philosophy, and so forth. And we have classes that show concern for the current world affairs. At the same time, though, the society, especially the mass media should take the responsibility to steer their voice for the development of children.这里可以再加点解释，说明一下以上的curriculums make it possible for children to be able to creat a better society。否则看上去就像只是在陈述教育的先进，并没有讨论到教育的能够达到的效果。
  We need socialized children in a more and more interconnected world, however, we need far more than that. The ultimate goal of education will always be to accomplish a child.结尾有点简单，而且好像没有总结到raising children的问题哦~

总的来说文章条理是很清晰的，第一部分的论证和举例也都比较出彩，不过第二部分的论述就有点单薄，感觉没说到点子上，而只是单纯的在说明教育制度如何如何好，结尾部分也有点仓促了。语言组织能力很好，句式也多变，好羡慕啊:loveliness: