topic7 请大家指正！有拍必回！多谢

rachelliUID: 2153113

这是本人的第二篇作文，望大家给与修正！万分的感谢！

   Movies or television isan exemerly common entertainment way Nowdays. Theyare just like our eating and drinking in our daily life. According to the report, people spend more time on movies or television than do other things. They provide advantages and disadvantages. At the same time, they also strongly influence people 's behaviors .
  Like newspaper, Movies or television and other mass medias influence people 's behavior. They change people's vauable, the attitude of the world and 审美          and make to people 's attitude and behavior. Second, the major means that they influence the public is by creating topics of discussion in the society. Moives offer people issues to talk and think about . For instance, Tess of the D'Urbervilles, it is a fierce attck on the hypocritical morality of the bourgeois society and the capitalist invasion into the country and destructuon of English peasantry towards the end of the century. It reflect the situation of that society. Third, Movies and television satisifed our imageion to furture. And they make the people anticipets with others countries and force on the core of the world in a short time.

  To some extend, Movies or television make people idleless, not touch withe other peple and commuication with the family. They make people watch TV all day. Another ascept, many children initmate violent  action from Movies and television. It is disadvantage of the growth of the children, including their mind and physics.


  In a word, movies and television provide us knowlege and information at the same time, and they also chage people mind to outside world and their behaiors. How to deal with advantage and disadvantage from them? It is vauable to think about it.

[ 本帖最后由 rachelli 于 2006-4-23 15:04 编辑 ]

powerpycUID: 2180236

① is exemerly common entertainment way感觉有点语法错误，说不太清楚
②They just like our eating and drinking in our daily life中间少了个are
③they also strong influence ----strongly
④LZ是不是限时了的吖？
⑤句子可以用点复杂点的

rachelliUID: 2153113

原帖由 powerpyc 于 2006-4-23 14:57 发表
① is exemerly common entertainment way感觉有点语法错误，说不太清楚
②They just like our eating and drinking in our daily life中间少了个are
③they also strong influence ----strongly
④LZ是不是限 ...

is exemerly common entertainment way－－－是不是应该在前面加上一个an?
多谢指正。看来语法还要加强的！

请问结构上有没有问题？

[ 本帖最后由 rachelli 于 2006-4-23 15:03 编辑 ]

powerpycUID: 2180236

没发现特别重大的文章结构问题，嘿嘿~偶还在考虑偶的偏题问题

rachelliUID: 2153113

原帖由 powerpyc 于 2006-4-23 15:07 发表
没发现特别重大的文章结构问题，嘿嘿~偶还在考虑偶的偏题问题

感谢了！
谢谢你的意见！我会加以改正的，这次还好没有跑题～～～～