ETS范文分析【自由女神小组第一次作业】

hemaUID: 2190745

1------Topic: Generalists vs. Specialists

Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.
"In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly overrated.  We need more generalists -- people who can provide broad perspectives."

SAMPLE-1 (score:6)
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.(我觉得这是个比较型文章，文章开始直接表明态度,给出观点。对结论做出回应“call for a balance”感觉过度很自然)
   Specialists are necessary in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media.(首句TS点名此段作者的观点是Specialists的正评价，很清晰) As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase):"I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge.(晕，引用的这句话不是看得很明白) It is only because of each of the narrowly focused individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon." (用比喻的手法表明Specialists的重要性)This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists in order for our society to take advantage of the information available to us.
Simply put(这个短语用得很好，也表明这段是接着上段的意思写的), without specialists, our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload.(文章又用了比喻，我们在写的时候可以视情况适当添加) While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.

   On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow focii in which people can lose the larger picture.(转折，给出了specialists的负评价) No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails(举例). What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discoveries means we have a pile of useless discoveries; it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may form a picture.

   Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universal issues. Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. (通过强调specialists的负评价，反过来表明了Generalists的必要性，这时Generalists的正评价，”Generalists and only generalists” 用的非常好，应该记住)With specialization, each person focuses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the wholisitc view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.

Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. People are forced into pigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must conciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information in order not to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focussed and generally pooprly-educated individuals, but it guarantees  a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.(文章用了很多漂亮的长句。感觉上作者试图通过“过分的specialization”的负来强调generalists的正)

Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recognizes the importance of braod-mindedness and fora for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.(表明作者最後的观点就是要平衡，这与开头相互照应，但是个人感觉文章着重偏向于通过写over-specialization导致的后果和缺少generalists的弊端来表达其的思想就是要call for a balance)

2------Topic: University of Claria

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors' reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members.  In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields.  For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other countries.  Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to become candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics.  And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating.  Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education.

SAMPLE-1 (score 6)
While the University of Claria appears to have an excellent reputation based on the accomplishments and reputations of its faculty, one would also wish to consider other issues before deciding upon this particular institution for undergraduate or graduate training.  The Physics and English departments are internationally known, but these are only two of the areas in which one might study.  Other departments are not listed; is this because no others are worth mentioning, or because no other departments bothered to turn in their accomplishments and kudos to the publicity office?(开头即在简要复述题目的同时点出了几点逻辑问题)

The assumption is that because English and Physics have excellent brains in the faculty offices, their teaching skills and their abilities to pass on knowledge and the love of learning to their students are equally laudable.  Unfortunately, this is often not the case.(用得非常漂亮)  A prospective student would certainly be advised to investigate thoroughly the teaching talents and attitudes of the professors, the library and research facilities, the physical plant of the departments in which he or she was planning to study, as well as the living arrangements on or off campus, and the facilities available for leisure activities and entertainment.

This evaluation of the University of Claria is too brief, and too general.  Nothing is mentioned about the quality of overall education; it only praises the accomplishments of a few recent graduates and professors.  More important than invitations to teach elsewhere, which might have been engineered by their own departmental heads in an attempt to remove them from the campus for a semester or two, is the relationship between teacher and student.  Are the teaching faculty approachable?  Are they helpful?  Have they an interest in passing on their knowledge?  Are they working for the future benefit of the student or to get another year closer to retirement?  How enthusiastic are the students about the courses being taught and the faculty members who teach those classes?  Are there sufficient classes available for the number of students?  Are the campus buildings accessible; how is the University handling all those cars?  Is the University a pleasant, encouraging, interesting, challenging place to attend school?  What are its attitudes about education, students, student ideas and innovations, faculty suggestions for improvement?(一连串的问题，非常富有逻辑，这样对题目中的缺陷穷追不舍地追打非常有效果)

What about that 75% employment record?  Were those students employed in the field of their choice, or are they flipping burgers and emptying wastebaskets while they search for something they are trained to do.  A more specific statement about the employability of students from this University is needed in order to make the argument forceful.

The paragraph given merely scratches the surface of what must be said about this University in order to entice students and to convince them that this is the best place to obtain a quality education.  Much more work is needed by the public relations department before this can be made into a four-color brochure and handed out to prospective students.




[ 本帖最后由 hema 于 2007-1-2 02:23 编辑 ]

huzhUID: 2268429

issue评得不错，有自己的见解,把每天段作者的意图都指出来了，arguement评得再细点就好了，见意把文字都加亮了看看舒服点给我们改的人也方便！

[ 本帖最后由 huzh 于 2007-1-5 11:59 编辑 ]