Argument65 姊妹花第二次作业 逐步开始限时

strokes7UID: 2262256

65The following appeared in a memo from thepresident of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in ourchain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Lastyear, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were alldomestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin.Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates anincreasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our companycan reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits inall of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of importedcheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."


From: 2007-6-11  20:30   To: 21:15    Words：427



Syllabus：
B1 新店销售情况不说明问题
B2 Survey可疑
B3 减少进口Cheese库存不是最好办法



In the argument, the president claims thatthe best way to improve profits is to decline inventory of imported cheese and concentrateon domestic ones, because he considers imported cheese are not popular asbefore. However, the survey and the sales of imported in five new stores areboth unpersuasive and the president makes an arbitrary decision.

First of all, the mere fact that thebest-selling cheeses are domestic in their newest store is insufficient toprove that imported cheeses are no more popular. There is no specificinformation about the newest store. We are not sure whether there is a salespromotion of domestic cheeses in new store. It is possible that all domesticcheeses are much cheaper than usual, whereas the imported ones are stillexpensive. Moreover, if the newest store located in Wisconsin,and the local government has a protection policy for indigenous companies,cheeses from Wisconsinmust be more popular than others. Without specific information like these, wecan not accept that it is a nationwide phenomena that people prefer domesticcheeses than imported ones.

Secondly, the result of the survey is alsosuspicious. For a survey to be effective, there must be sufficient respondentsand proper way to inspect, though we are informed nothing about these. It ispossible that there are only a few people with specific interesting to domesticchesses read Cheeses of the World magazine, such as managers and bakers, sothat they will undoubtedly express their preferences to domestic cheeses. Inaddition, perhaps many subscribers who enjoy imported cheeses did not giverespondence to the magazine. If so, the result of the survey which indicates anincreasing preference for domestic cheeses is invalid.

Finally, even assuming that domesticcheeses are more and more popular, it is premature to say that the best way toimprove profits is to discontinue stocking imported cheese. On one hand, theremust be still a lot of immigrations who like imported cheeses. Maybe theirstores would lose these foreign customers due to they stop to provide importedcheeses, which will lead to decline of profits. On the other hand, thepresident neglects other factors which would influence the profits of their stores,such as transport costs, purchase price. With regard to these possibilities,the best way to improve profits needs further thinking.

In sum, the claim is not cogent andreasonable. To booster this argument, the arguer should provide more evidenceto prove that people should select domestic cheeses instead of imported onesand take account into factors which could benefit their profits.

[ 本帖最后由 strokes7 于 2007-6-11 22:00 编辑 ]

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

In the argument, the president claims thatthe best way to improve profits is to decline inventory of imported cheese and concentrateon domestic ones, because he considers imported cheese are not popular asbefore. However, the survey and the sales of imported in five new stores areboth unpersuasive 这里用both感觉怪怪的the president makes an arbitrary decision.

First of all, the mere fact that thebest-selling cheeses are domestic in their newest store is insufficient toprove that imported cheeses are no more popular. There is no specificinformation about the newest store. We are not sure whether there is a salespromotion of domestic cheeses in new store.这句和前后好像没有什么衔接 It is possible that all domesticcheeses are much cheaper than usual, whereas the imported ones are stillexpensive. Moreover, if the newest store located in Wisconsin,and the local government has a protection policy for indigenous companies,cheeses from Wisconsinmust be more popular than others. Without specific information like these, wecan not accept that it is a nationwide phenomena that people prefer domesticcheeses than imported ones.

Secondly, the result of the survey is alsosuspicious.可不可以说一下具体的survey的哪些result可疑啊？y to be effective, there must be sufficient respondentsand proper way to inspect, though貌似这个词用得有点问题 we are informed nothing about these. It ispossible that there are only a few people with specific interesting to domesticchesses read Cheeses of the World magazine, such as managers and bakers, sothat they will undoubtedly express their preferences to domestic cheeses. Inaddition, perhaps many subscribers who enjoy imported cheeses did not giverespondence to the magazine. If so, the result of the survey which indicates anincreasing preference for domestic cheeses is invalid.

Finally, even assuming that domesticcheeses are more and more popular, it is premature to say that the best way toimprove profits is to discontinue stocking imported cheese. On one hand, theremust be still a lot of immigrations who like imported cheeses. Maybe theirstores would lose these foreign customers due to they stop to provide importedcheeses, which will lead to decline of profits. On the other hand, thepresident neglects other factors which would influence the profits of their stores,such as transport costs, purchase price.似乎可以再展开一点 With regard to these possibilities,the best way to improve profits needs further thinking.

In sum, the claim is not cogent and改成 nor reasonable. To booster this argument, the arguer should provide more evidenceto prove that people should select domestic cheeses instead of imported onesand take account into factors which could benefit their profits.

感觉你这一篇好像没有之前的写得好，句子之间的衔接有点生硬，好多地方没有展开
我觉得如果argument写得好主要是思路好，这样30分钟写足够用， 问题是好多时候似乎一边想一边写一个是容易写的偏离了ts还有就是会慢，昨天晚上写了一个，基本上没停过的话大概30分钟可以搞定，550字左右，问题是之前要不需要很多时间再想题目，我是写好提纲再开始计时的，呵呵，加油

iq28UID: 2152875

In the argument, the president claims thatthe best way to improve profits is to decline inventory of imported cheese and concentrateon domestic ones, because he considers imported cheese are not popular asbefore. However, the survey and the sales of imported in five new stores areboth unpersuasive and the president makes an arbitrary decision.

First of all, the mere fact that thebest-selling cheeses are domestic in their newest store is insufficient toprove that imported cheeses are no more popular. There is no specificinformation about the newest store. (划线句子不直接支持红字) We are not sure whether there is a salespromotion of domestic cheeses in new store. It is possible that all domesticcheeses are much cheaper than usual, whereas the imported ones are stillexpensive. (so what? 能说明什么问题么?请点名) Moreover, if the newest store located in Wisconsin,and the local government has a protection policy for indigenous companies,cheeses from Wisconsinmust be more popular than others. Without specific information like these, wecan not accept that it is a nationwide phenomena that people prefer domesticcheeses than imported ones. (针对这段的问题,给你看个这个)

这里举个直观的例子，你提出一个房地产开发方案，跟我说有市场有资金，要建在清华东门。

我说：“万一地震了把房子都震倒怎么办？别建了。”

你什么感想？是不是想抽我？

换个说法，我说：“根据最近统计，清华东门经常有使徒出没，由于AT力场扰动导致地壳不稳定，所以频发地震，因此建了会被震倒，还是别建了。”

这回你应该不会想抽我而是回头去造EVA了吧。

这个就是合理推断，即从常识层面出发，而不是凭空想象可能性对ARGUMENT的错误提出可能性推断。

Secondly, the result of the survey is alsosuspicious. For a survey to be effective, there must be sufficient respondentsand proper way to inspect, though we are informed nothing about these. It ispossible that there are only a few people with specific interesting to domesticchesses read Cheeses of the World magazine, such as managers and bakers, sothat they will undoubtedly express their preferences to domestic cheeses. Inaddition, perhaps many subscribers who enjoy imported cheeses did not giverespondence to the magazine. If so, the result of the survey which indicates anincreasing preference for domestic cheeses is invalid. 同上一个段落.不能说服什么.给你看一段ets的原话(remember, however, that, in terms of your ability to perform the Argument task effectively, it is your critical thinking and analytical writing, not your ability to come up with examples, that is being assessed)

Finally, even assuming that domesticcheeses are more and more popular, it is premature to say that the best way toimprove profits is to discontinue stocking imported cheese. On one hand, theremust be still a lot of immigrations who like imported cheeses. Maybe theirstores would lose these foreign customers due to they stop to provide importedcheeses, which will lead to decline of profits. On the other hand, thepresident neglects other factors which would influence the profits of their stores,such as transport costs, purchase price. With regard to these possibilities,the best way to improve profits needs further thinking. (good paragraph)

In sum, the claim is not cogent andreasonable. To booster this argument, the arguer should provide more evidenceto prove that people should select domestic cheeses instead of imported onesand take account into factors which could benefit their profits.

自己的argument思路也在重组中.建议只能说这么多了.呵呵.