Issue121 【07-10G Superstar大帖】第5次作文

laura001UID: 2295927

TOPIC: ISSUE121 - "At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."

WORDS:534
  
提纲:   (按修锐的提纲写的，虽然觉得恐龙灭绝是因为气候而非没有fern吃)
1.对于非人类造成的不保护---自然选择,优胜劣淘
2.有些物种在人类存在以前就灭绝了，和人类没有关系
3.但是很多物种是由于人为原因灭绝
4.物种是生物圈中的一个，保护它对人类也有好处。
因此，人类要保护濒危物种，但不要过度保护。


Is it justifiable for us to make extraordinary efforts to save endangered species? In a sense, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that some species extinguish due to the inadaptability to nature, however, human’s activities today have been threatening some animal’s survivals.


To begin with, the extinction of some endangered species results from the “national selection” from Darwinian argument in which strong species survive while weaker ones are eliminated. One illustration of this point involves Dodo, a flightless bird which can be caught easily by hunters, failed to succeed in the evolution or adaptation to environment, therefore it may be not shocking that these species will die out. In other words, it is squandering money and resource to protect some endangered species like these ones, because the extinction is doomed and human can not protect them at all costs forever which is against the rule of nature.


Moreover, some animal species inadaptable to changing conditions, such as earthquake, drought and flood, may vanish. Here is a striking example that can illustrate my reason. Millions of years ago, dinosaurs which are prosperous on the earth just ate the fern, and when green plants appear instead of ferns, dinosaurs had no food to eat, finally they starved to death. They become extinct beyond human's activity, thus it is unnecessary and unable to save them for human.


It is true that many species have become extinct because of natural processes, yet a variety of species disappeared as a result of human. The extinction of the endangered animals result from deforestation and pollution of lakes and air which destroy their environment. For example, a victim of the logging industry development is monkey. Without the thick forests, no monkey race could survive at all. This is not only because there is no space for monkeys to live in, but also for the reason that the ecosystem disruption directly leads to monkeys' lack of food. Compared with the neglect natural result, human processes are able to destroy the fundamental living conditions which the wild species depend on at a higher rate. Also take the Tibetan Antelope for an example. Tibetan Antelope is one of the most endangered mammals on the planets since they are slaughtered illegally by the thousands of persons for its wool, which is known as the "king of the wool" and quite valuable. If the society does not take any effective measurement to prevent this illegal slaughter, the Tibetan Antelope will vanish forever in due course. If the society pay no attention on species protection, the species will die out at a far higher speed. Simply put, human have a duty to take useful actions to pervert some species from being extinct.



In addition, every specie of plants and animals is an indispensable component of a balanced biosphere. The function of every species in the biosphere is to adjust ecological system. The extinction of a certain plant may be detrimental to some insects; the endangered insects may influence the existence of some animals. Without one of the species, the ecological system changes, and ultimately, human will be the next victims of biosphere destruction.


To sum up, we have responsibility to protect the some endangered species , however, we are unnecessary to save all of the

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-6-13 04:18 编辑 ]

iq28UID: 2152875

改作文改得郁闷 顺便做个沙发歇歇;d:

智恩UID: 2160717

Is it justifiable for us to make extraordinary efforts to save endangered species? In a sense, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that some species extinguish due to the inadaptability to nature, however, human’s activities today have been threatening some animal’s survivals.


To begin with, the extinction of some endangered species results from the “national selection” from Darwinian argument in which strong species survive while weaker ones are eliminated. One illustration of this point involves Dodo, a flightless bird which can be caught easily by hunters, failed to succeed in the evolution or adaptation to environment, therefore it may be not shocking that these species will die out. In other words, it is squandering money and resource to protect some endangered species like these ones, because the extinction is doomed and human can not protect them at all costs forever which is against the rule of nature.


Moreover, some animal species inadaptable to changing conditions, such as earthquake, drought and flood, may vanish. Here is a striking example that can illustrate my reason. Millions of years ago, dinosaurs which are prosperous on the earth just ate the fern, and when green plants appear instead of ferns, dinosaurs had no food to eat, finally they starved to death. They become extinct beyond human's activity, thus it is unnecessary and unable to save them for human.


这段话你要转折了，最好在句首就用一个转折连词，这样机构更加清晰It is true that many species have become extinct because of natural processes, yet a variety of species disappeared as a result of human. The extinction of the endangered animals result from deforestation[你可以解释一下deforestation的意思] and pollution of lakes and air which destroy their environment. For example, a victim of the logging industry development is monkey. Without the thick forests, no monkey race could survive at all[ 这句话是不是说得有点儿绝对呢？]. This is not only because there is no space for monkeys to live in, but also for the reason that the ecosystem disruption directly leads to monkeys' lack of food. Compared with the neglect natural result[这个是什么意思呢 我都不是很懂], human processes are able to destroy the fundamental living conditions which the wild species depend on at a higher rate. Also take the Tibetan Antelope for an example. Tibetan Antelope is one of the most endangered mammals on the planets since they are slaughtered illegally by the thousands of persons for its wool, which is known as the "king of the wool" and quite valuable. If the society does not take any effective measurement to prevent this illegal slaughter, the Tibetan Antelope will vanish forever in due course. If the society pay no attention on species protection, the species will die out at a far higher speed. Simply put, human have a duty[我觉得用resposibility更好] to take useful actions to pervert[应该是protect吧？] some species from being extinct.



In addition, every specie of plants and animals is an indispensable component of a balanced biosphere. The function of every species in the biosphere is to adjust ecological system. The extinction of a certain plant may be detrimental to some insects;[这句话的意思是：一些植物的消亡会对一些昆虫有害。我觉得你可以说成是：会导致一些昆虫的绝种，那么一些昆虫的消亡将会导致一些动物的消亡.我觉得detrimental这个词用得不是很恰当] the endangered insects may influence the existence of some animals. Without one of the species, the ecological system changes, and ultimately, human will be the next victims of biosphere destruction.


To sum up, we have responsibility to protect the some endangered species , however, we are unnecessary to save all of them你的结尾显得太仓促了 可以多总结一下

每一段话 除了摆观点和举例子以外 应该多一些阐述  有些词可以适当的解释一下 还有其实我觉得你的2、3段可以合并来写  总之还是不错 加油咯！

DemoUID: 2331967

这几天人不多的时候写作文被斑斑们修改的概率好高哦 @@
要加紧了...
晚上上小号来贴作文 :loveliness: