Argument140 【07-10G Superstar大帖】第18次作文

desirermimiUID: 2108321

Argument140
提纲：
1、unwarranted assumption:Thomas will leave Elm City University.Although she will leave for another college,the situation may result from the research field in other colleges are more suitable for her.Or it may be the case that her family are on the other city which far away from ECU,she has to leave ECU for being close to her family.

2、fails to establish the causal relationship.The author fails to provides evidence that the relationship between her classes are among the largest at the university and her classes are popular which resulted from her superior skill on teaching.Maybe her classes are obligatory courses, which lead to the maximum capability of in the school.

3、The fact that she attracted research grants which are more than her salary in each of the last two years may not be reliable evidence for the reference for the future.Morever, bringing much research money doesn't represent her research ability. The case may be that she has a good relationship with the rich organizations or individuals who could provide a great deal of fund for ECU.

4、Even if one accepts the assumption which are her teaching and research abilities, it also fails to provide evidence to prove her leadership abilities as Department Chairperson.




The argument contains several facets that are questionable. First,the author provide an unwarranted assumption. In addition, the argument fails to establish the causal relathionship. The argument's reference for the future which comes from the imformation collected in the last two years may not be reliable.I will discuss each of these facets by turns.

In the first place, the argument' conclusion that Professor Thomas(PT) should receive a 10,000 dolars raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson is on the premise that she wants to leave Elm City University(ECU),which is just an unwarranted assumption. Even if PT wants to leave ECU, are there any evidence in the argument to make the correlation between her resignation and the dissatisfactory salary and position? Obviously NO. It might be the case that the research field in other colleges are more suitable than ECU can provide for her. It also might be the case that her family are on the other cities which are far away from ECU.Then she wants to be near her family which results in her leaving ECU. Cases such as these could undermine the reliability of the argument assumption.

Accoding to the arguer's statement,we might believe that PT'superior skill on teaching. However, we might ask ourselves such questions enlightened by our common sense,"Is there any relationships between PT's largest classes at thr ECU and her popurity?Does her superion skill on teaching cause  she has the largest classes at the university?"The answer we can't obtain through this short argument, thus directly make us doubt the whole fruits the arguer attained. Other possibilities such as that PT' classes are obligatory courses which lead to the maximum capability of the school don't rule out by the author.

In addition,another problem with the argument is that the author commits a fallacy of all things are equal. The fact that she attracted research grants which are more than her salary in each of the last years may not be reliable evidence for the reference for the future. Morever, bring much research money doesn't represent her research ability. The case may be that she has a good relationship with the rich organizations or individuals who could provide a great deal of fund for ECU.

Finally, even if one accepts the assumption which are PT' teaching and research abilities, it also fails to provide evidence to prove her leadership abilities as Department Chairperson.Maybe she is only good at and interesting in teaching and research field but not has the ability to deal with interpersonal relation. If the committee persist in recommending her promotion,it might be a broken action to her hobbies.

In conclusion, the argument,while it seems logical at the first glance, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing evidence that PT will leave ECU and the resons is her dissatisfactory salary ad position. It could be further improved by proving PT's ability in teaching and researching.

[ 本帖最后由 desirermimi 于 2007-7-5 22:01 编辑 ]

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

占个座，晚上给你改

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

The argument contains several facets that are questionable. First,the author provide an unwarranted assumption. In addition, the argument fails to establish the causal relathionship. The argument's reference for the future which comes from the imformation collected in the last two years may not be reliable.I will discuss each of these facets by turns.

In the first place, the argument' conclusion that Professor Thomas(PT) should receive a 10,000 dolars raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson is [based]on the premise that she wants to leave Elm City University(ECU),which is just an unwarranted assumption. [很好]Even if PT wants to leave ECU, are there any evidence in the argument to make the correlation between her resignation and the dissatisfactory salary and position? Obviously NO. It might be the case that the research field in other colleges are more suitable than ECU can provide [for her]. It also might be the case that her family are on the other cities which are far away from ECU. Then she wants to be near her family which results in her leaving ECU.[这句最好再简洁些] Cases such as these could undermine the reliability of the argument assumption.

Accoding to the arguer's statement,we might believe that PT' superior skill on teaching. However, we might ask ourselves such questions enlightened by our common sense,"Is there any relationships between PT's largest classes at thr ECU and her popurity?Does her superion skill on teaching cause [用法好像不太对] she has the largest classes at the university?"The answer we can't obtain through this short argument, thus directly make us doubt the whole fruits the arguer attained. Other possibilities such as that PT' classes are obligatory courses which lead to the maximum capability of the school don't rule out by the author.[这个攻击的不够，没写其他因素。前半部分的风格像issue，我个人觉得写A应该以陈述语气为主]

In addition,another problem with the argument is that the author commits a fallacy of all things are equal. The fact that she attracted research grants which are more than her salary in each of the last years may not be reliable evidence for the reference for the future. [还是要紧跟一个 Maybe 之类的]Morever, bring much research money doesn't represent her research ability. The case may be that she has a good relationship with the rich organizations or individuals who could provide a great deal of fund for ECU.

Finally, even if one accepts the assumption which are PT' teaching and research abilities, it also fails to provide evidence to prove her leadership abilities as Department Chairperson.Maybe she is only good at and interesting in teaching and research field but not has the ability to deal with interpersonal relation. If the committee persist in recommending her promotion,it might be a broken action to her hobbies.[这个错误有点牵强，不如把上一个主要错误多展开些]

In conclusion, the argument,while it seems logical at the first glance, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing evidence that PT will leave ECU and the resons is her dissatisfactory salary ad position. It could be further improved by proving PT's ability in teaching and researching.

总的来说，错误都找到了，但攻击的不够深刻，某些部分语言风格和A作文不太相符，建议多看范文和其他习作。