Issue130 【天道酬勤作文互改小组】第十二次作业

alarenmingUID: 2329302

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
WORDS: 370          TIME: 00:43:34          DATE: 2007-7-11 14:37:43
提纲：方向，承认世界的复杂性，不认可其不备指导作用
        1当今世界确实复杂，但是过去同样复杂，现在的一些成果是基于从前，肺结核例子
        2过去避免未来犯错
        3过去可以解释现在发生的一些事情
        4最后，过去的政策并一定适合现在
I concede the world is very new and complex today, But I do not agree with the statement that an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.

At the first place, I concede world is complex in the present. But together with the fact is the past was also complex for the contemporary. Consider, for example, the TB. With the development of the medical treatment, TB just be regarded as an ailment whereas it was considered as a cancer in the past. This treatment does not take shape in one day,  it is a process which developed gradually on the research work of the past. In the respects, we should not ignore the past.

At the second place, an understanding of the past  teaches us to avoid the same mistakes in the future. Consider, for example, the 9.11 case. What the case bring to us is not a disaster but also a protection conscience against terrorists. Since the case happened, the security office of United State pays more attention to  such terrorists and has impeded lots of terrors in time, in doing so, avoid the same tragedy. From this example, we will see the significance to focus on the past.

At the third place, an understanding of the past could be sometimes a good method to understand some current situations. To explain some circumstances we can purchase answer from the history. Take the comfort women for example. Why do so many people have a deep hatred of Japan? Why do so many people ask Abe Shinzou for an apology for the crime in the last war? To better reveal the truth, please open the history book and you will find the answer.
  
At the last, past is not always an guidance to us, different eras have different situations and problems, a policy which solved the national issue in the past, however, do not mean that it can work its magic in the present.

In sum, just like every thing has it double edges, an understanding of past sometimes facilitate the nature process, but sometimes it reverses. In such sense, what we need is a perspective analogy which help figure out the beneficial ones from the past.




[ 本帖最后由 alarenming 于 2007-7-11 14:45 编辑 ]

PilotBearUID: 2269456

I concede the world is very new and complex today, But I do not agree with the statement that an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present.

At the first place, I concede world is complex in the present. But together with the fact is the past was also complex for the contemporary. Consider, for example, the TB. (TB是什么？你没有说，还是说一下的好)With the development of the medical treatment, TB just be regarded as an ailment whereas it was considered as a cancer in the past（例子和topic关系不大，感觉像是硬拉上去的）. This treatment does not take shape in one day,  it is a process which developed gradually on the research work of the past. In the respects, we should not ignore the past.（论证过于简单了，一个Topic+一个例子+结论就完了。应该有一些论证的句子，1~2句就比你没有强，这样也能增加字数）

At the second place, an understanding of the past  teaches us to avoid the same mistakes in the future. Consider, for example, the 9.11 case.（1。911网上的一般说法是最好不要提，例子那么多，不用非写这个。2。例子写的太简单，别人都知道的事情也要陈述清楚的，有利于论证。简单句怎么也要两句，复杂句有时候一句够了。） What the case bring to us is not a disaster but also a protection conscience against terrorists. Since the case happened, the security office of United State pays more attention to  such terrorists and has impeded lots of terrors in time, in doing so, avoid the same tragedy. From this example, we will see the significance to focus on the past.

At the third place, an understanding of the past could be sometimes a good method to understand some current situations. To explain some circumstances we can purchase answer from the history. Take the comfort women for example. Why do so many people have a deep hatred of Japan? Why do so many people ask Abe Shinzou for an apology for the crime in the last war? To better reveal the truth, please open the history book and you will find the answer.（个人觉得第二点和第三点是一点）
  
At the last, past is not always an guidance to us, different eras have different situations and problems, a policy which solved the national issue in the past, however, do not mean that it can work its magic in the present.（估计你是没时间了，那还不如把前面的点论证清楚呢。）

In sum, just like every thing has it double edges, an understanding of past sometimes facilitate the nature process, but sometimes it reverses. In such sense, what we need is a perspective analogy which help figure out the beneficial ones from the past.


大的框架，已经比较成型。优点是语言还比较好。段内的论证还要多加强，多看看范文吧。呵呵。语法没看。

加油！

alarenmingUID: 2329302

呵呵，给了我莫大的鼓励！！！多谢pilotbear!
我会好好再分析分析！
大家一起努力！
TB是肺结核,恩,不过确实跟主题句不太搭界,呵呵
body2说的是了解过去可以避免一些现在的错误
body3的意思是对于现在的一些现象我们只有从历史的角度才能解释

[ 本帖最后由 alarenming 于 2007-7-13 16:13 编辑 ]