CRACK 9T小组第1次作业----holding

holdingUID：2285054

writing:
Most people like other people to make decision for them. but other not. which do you perfer?Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

When we make decisions, someone would like to make decision all by themselves, while others will ask other people for advices and suggestions. In my opinion, to make a wonderful or even perfect decision, we should turn to others for help and proposition instead of making decisions all by ourselves.

Sometimes, we should make decision about the things we never experience before. Because we know little about it, we need other people to tell us more. For example, some of my friends are considering which way they should take in the coming year—whether they continue to study in the university and get higher degree or join into a job and hunt money? All of us are students in university, and we never leave schools into society ever before. We do not know what kind of people the society needs and whether we can go into it smoothly or not. At this time, we need advice from someone who has already into the society to tell us the answers to these questions.

What’s more, sometimes people would like to trust themselves more than any others. However, one person’s view to something is always lopsided as a result of his/her own limited knowledge and experience. So when I am making decisions, I will ask others’ advice to make my opinion more general and complete. Different people who have various of experiences will surely have different views towards the same things. Hence, when we ask other people’s advice, we are absorbing experience of other people which could make our decision more reasonable and sensible.

As a conclusion, although the person who make decision is the only one person who is responsible to it, other people’s advice and suggestion will improve the decision to be more reasonable and sound, which is good for the future of the people who make the decision. So making decisions, we should combine both the experience of our own and the one of other people as well.

[ 本帖最后由 holding 于 2007-7-16 22:03 编辑 ]

小马家家UID：2247022

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When we make decisions, someone would like to make decision all by themselves, while others will ask other people for advices and suggestions. In my opinion, to make a wonderful or even perfect decision, we should turn to others for help and proposition instead of making decisions all by ourselves.(前面是单数，这里咋变成复数了)

一句话复述题目+自己的topic
Sometimes, we should make decision about the things we never experience before. Because we know little about it, we need other people to tell us more. For example, some of my friends are considering which way they should take in the coming year—whether they continue to study in the university and get higher degree or join into a job and hunt money? All of us are students in university, and we never leave schools into society ever before[/color].（两个动作吧, we never leave schools and entry into society before.） We do not know what kind of people the society needs and whether we can go into it smoothly or not. At this time, we need advices from someone who has already (being) into the society to tell us the answers to these questions.

感觉第2段开头应该是小的topic，然后过度句+例子+自己对例子的评价。

What’s more, sometimes people would like to trust themselves more than any others. However, one person’s view to something is      always(词太绝对了，always：总是，始终) lopsided as a result of his/her own limited knowledge and experience. So when I am[/color]（可以去掉） making decisions, I will ask others’ advice to make my opinion more general and complete. Different people who have various of experiences will surely have different views towards the same things. Hence, when we （去掉）ask other people’s advice, we are absorbing experience of other people which could make our decision more reasonable and sensible.
进一步深化自己的topic，这里可以+个小例子。

As a conclusion, although the person who make decision[/color]（单复数问题) is the only one person who is responsible to it, other people’s advice and suggestion will improve the decision to be more reasonable and sound, which is good for the future of the people who make the decision. So（+when）making decisions, we should combine both the experience of our own and the one of other people as well.
结论是总结自己的前两段的topic，呼应第一段的主题。

写的不错，注意一些小错误。比如句子主谓统一，单词的意思。

再就是文章的结构，个人感觉问题分析透彻才好，最后加一小反的段子作为第四段。这样显得问题分析比较全面。有点issue的味道， 不知道对不对，我还没看OG里对作文的要求。

这是从去年考完作文第一次再接触,如果改的不对的地方,请及时反馈下.

蓝山咖啡UID：167322

口语部分修改稿见附件

holdingUID：2285054

多谢改正 呵呵
我也很久没有写了，有点不知道怎么写了

holdingUID：2285054

多谢蓝山的修改，很有帮助