CRACK 9T小组第1次作业---lizzy

lizzy1986UID：2281654

writing: Most people like other people to make decision for them. But other not. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Making decision is a complicated and difficult process and therefore many people prefer to follow others' suggestion or instruction without their own consideration. In my point of view, I am used to making determination on my own for the reason that I'm the one who know me best. Nevertheless, it has a exception when it comes to making professional decision in some unacquainted fields, such as purchasing a computer or taking medicine.

My attitude on making decision is directly related to and deeply influenced by my father. "Think your life considerately, figure out what you really want and choose the path in the future for yourself", my father told these sentences when I confronted the problem that which university I should attended three years ago. One university ranked higher than the other one then whereas the other one offered me greater opportunity to reach out to success in my favorite field. Different people--parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters and friends gave me various answers from their personal perspective. The impact of these suggestions should not be ignored, and ultimately, I'm the one who made the final decision--followed my interest and went the one who can help me pursue my dream--become a excellent journalist, live in a meaningful life.

Also, I planed my graduation trip of high school independently--chose places, confirmed the schedule, booked the taxi and hotel, and the like. Making decision is virtually a enjoyable course if you realize that you are the monitor of your life.

However, as mentioned in the beginning, if I have trouble in some professional fields, I would like to follow experts' decision. No man can be familiar and versatile in every aspect along with more and more specialized areas. An example will serve to illustrate my point: In hospital, doctors are the only one who has the sufficient capacity to make decision for us and no doubt we'd better comply with physician's orders rather than choose medicine on our own.

我绝对应该受表扬，今早起得这么早补了第一次的作业。;d:

[ 本帖最后由 lizzy1986 于 2007-8-4 11:00 编辑 ]

小马家家UID：2247022

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CRACK 9T小组第1次作业---lizzy


writing: Most people like other people to make decision for them. But other not. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Making decision is a complicated and difficult process and(去掉and 加一个",") therefore many people prefer to follow others' suggestion or instruction without their own consideration. In my point of view, I am used to making determination on my own for the reason that I'm the one who know me best. Nevertheless, it has a exception when it comes to making professional decision in some unacquainted fields, such as purchasing a computer or taking medicine.

写的很不错　先是背景句子，然后引出自己的观点，转折有所保留

My attitude on making decision is directly related to and deeply influenced by my father.(作topic sentence 不强，不能体现独立作决定的意思. 可以尝试下在making decision 后面加depended on oneself） "Think your life considerately, figure out what you really want and choose the path in the future for yourself", my father told these sentences when I confronted the problem that which university I should attended three years ago. One university ranked higher than the other one （,）then whereas the other one offered me greater opportunity to reach out to success in my favorite field. Different people--parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters and friends gave me various answers(advices) from their personal perspective. The impact of these suggestions should not be ignored, and ultimately, I'm the one who made the final decision--followed my interest and went the one who can help me pursue my dream--become a excellent journalist, live in a meaningful life.
topic sentence 一定是这段的灵魂 和核心，其确定后，整段都围绕这个话题展开。
Also, I planed my graduation trip of high school independently--chose places, confirmed the schedule, booked the taxi and hotel, and the like. Making decision is virtually a enjoyable course if you realize that you are the monitor of your life.


整体来看 第2段有点偏题 至到最后在正过来，题目是问你which do you prefer? and use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

就是问你喜欢那个方式，然后举例子和细节来支持你的观点。第一段你给出观点你喜欢独立作决定。但第二段你只是描述一个过程。很少提到独立作决定优点和益处。为什么你喜欢这个方式？对你来说这样有那么优点和益处在第2段表现得不明显。

However, as mentioned in the beginning, if I have trouble in some professional fields, I would like to follow experts' decision. No man can be familiar and versatile in every aspect along with more and more specialized areas. An example will serve to illustrate my point: In hospital, doctors are the only one who has the sufficient capacity to make decision for us and no doubt we'd better comply with physician's orders rather than choose medicine on our own.
这个例子很好的支持了你的论点 就是某些情况下 我们还得听从他人的建议和决定。我咋没想到这个例子*_*

lizzy1986UID：2281654

谢谢小马修改。说的很有道理，确实应该提出观点，然后再阐述一下观点的。谢啦:loveliness:

穿毛裤的鱼UID：2203276

:mad :mad :mad

zhoushengyuanlyUID：2246479

mm原来你和这位是^^^^^^^^^^;d:
水斑的怎么跑到这来了