求拍 第二次task2

AgynessUID: 2405406

题目还是Bqiana帖子里的哈，去年的真题，这次写了比较久，50分钟，基本上一边写一边改。
因为前几天一直在看作文，所以受了我自己看的范文的影响很大。估计考试的时候没这么好命，会碰到我练习过的啦。
277字  50分钟
题目：
20070203
Some people believe that individuals can not improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. To what extend do you agree or disagree?


作文：
Nowadays environment issue is the hottest in the world. People concern about the earth we live in more than any time before. Some people thought that only governments and big companies can improve environment but individuals can not. However, in my opinion, all of them are very important in making a progress in environment. Not only the governments and big companies contribute to environmental protection, but also individuals. The reasons are listed below.

First of all, governments and big companies can protect environment in many ways. A lot of countries have laws about prohibit or limit use of polluting materials such as plastic bags. Also governments can all the attention of people to become environmental responsible by television, radio and newspapers. Both governments and big companies could invest on developing more effective technologies in waste treatment or building national park to protect forest and animals. Furthermore, big companies should replace the old materials with environmental friendly ones and do not pour industrial waste water into river.

Although governments and big companies play a significant role in protecting environment, individuals are the direct ones who live on the earth. Without the efforts of individuals, governments and big companies can not address the environmental problem. The rules for environmental protection will means nothing if no one obey them. On the other hand, everyone has the responsibility to fight with environment pollution. We can save water, electricity and paper in everyday life and classify living rubbish. Even the power of one person is slight, the power of world people is huge.

To sum up, under the efforts of individuals, governments and big companies, the environment will become healthier and cleaner.

forbeckUID: 2297645

占位~~~

forbeckUID: 2297645

1 big companies 和governments可以用近义词来代替,比如firm/administration
2 big companies should replace the old materials with environmental friendly ones and do not pour industrial waste water into river这句的逻辑有点问题，主语和谓语之间的关系
3 Even the power of one person is slight, the power of world people is huge呵呵，这句我没见过老外用。不知道是不是有点中国人喊口号的感觉
4 文章中还有一些小错误，要好好检查哦:)

AgynessUID: 2405406

谢谢牛牛

我一直在想government和company的近义词
就一直想不出来，大谢

其他的问题我也会注意
争取这次考作文不要拖我后腿了

futuremanUID: 2327059

Some people believe that individuals can not improve environment, but only governments and big companies can make a difference. To what extend do you agree or disagree?


Nowadays environment issue is the hottest in the world. People concern about the earth we live in more than any time before. Some people thought that only governments and big companies can improve environment but individuals can not. However, in my opinion, all of them are very important in making a progress in environment. Not only the governments and big companies contribute to environmental protection, but also individuals. The reasons are listed below.

First of all, governments and big companies can protect environment in many ways. A lot of countries have laws about prohibit or limit [prohibiting or limiting] use of polluting materials such as plastic bags. Also governments can [缺动词]all the attention of people to become environmental responsible by television, radio and newspapers. Both governments and big companies could invest on developing more effective technologies in waste treatment or building national park to protect forest and animals. Furthermore, big companies should replace the old materials with environmental friendly [环境友好型？好中式英语啊..|||]ones and do not pour industrial waste water into river.

Although governments and big companies play a significant role in protecting environment, individuals are the direct ones who live on the earth. Without the efforts of individuals, governments and big companies can not address the environmental problem. The rules for environmental protection will means nothing if no one obey them. On the other hand, everyone has the responsibility to fight with [against]environment pollution. We can save water, electricity and paper in everyday life and classify living[生活垃圾 urban life rubbish] rubbish. Even the power of one person is slight, the power of world people is huge.[非常中式的表达/ the import of people all over the world is tremandous/ 两个都用power也体现不出小大之别，你考虑下面这句话的比喻义The trickle became a stream; the stream has now become a torrent]

To sum up, under the efforts of individuals, governments and big companies, the environment will become healthier and cleaner.

主要是语言流畅性问题, 注意避免中文的生搬硬套。加油