argument65『APRIL 小组第二次作业』

brilliantsUID: 2347224

argument 65

1 the result of the survey is and indication of world wide trend but it might not be very persuasive when applied to a local district.
2 the decrease on the quantity of total imported cheese dose not necessarily lead to an increase of profits.
3 the taste of people is difficult to  forecast the most favorites of last year may very probably be forgotten by most people  when new product are put into market.

Word  497   又没限制住时间！真丢脸！！！

The conclusion that the discontinue stocking many of the varieties of imported cheese and concentrated primarily on domestic cheeses to improve profits in all of the chain stores is apparently plausible when go through the argument at the first glance.However, by further inspection and evaluation, the president of the chain stores lacks the fundamental and crucial evidence to qualify its seemingly correct conclusion.And the logic ratiocination is feeble and can be easily called into question.
First and foremost, the president draw conclusion simply from specialty to generality.According to the sell proceedings in the newest store that the five best-selling cheeses were all domestic cheeses, he broaden the case to the whole chain stores, without referring to the sell proceedings of other stores. Facts may be that, the five best-selling cheeses of other chain stores are all imported cheeses and have an appreciable advantage over those domestic ones. In this sense , the president's logic reasoning is of crucial deficiency and cannot support the conclusion he made.
Despite of the fact that five best-selling cheeses in other stores are all domestic ones, the conclusion proposed by the president is also self-disapproval. In the first place, there is no evidence shows the selling account of the imported cheeses is trivial and negligible, they may remain constitute an appreciable ratio in the total selling amount.Also there is possibility that the net profit if the imported cheeses outstrips the domestic cheeses.  Since one of the vital goals of the company is to gain profits, the adoption of the conclusion is bound to weak its income potentially and visibly.
Furthermore, the recently survey do not represent the trend of the likeness of the subscribers, not even in the near future for the mood of the subscribers is changeable over certain circumstances. The preference for domestic cheese can decrease considerably and the likeness for the imported cheeses can increase in an unexpected velocity. All these can claim the falsehood of the  decision.
Finally, the survey does not indicate the pool of the consumers of the imported cheese is on the decline sharply. So by sticking to the imported cheese market, the profit gain in it can be remain considerable , however, authoritative of the Cheese of the World magazine  is , it also has the propensity in making false surveys.
More substantial statistics presented and evaluated, the conclusion can be the promising one. But depending on the extent statistics, it is far less sufficient in making even a conclusion.Considering the nature of the existence of the company, the profit gain in its commercial activities and decisions is vital for its survival and prosperity and  it is unwise to link its future with such event.

[ 本帖最后由 brilliants 于 2008-3-26 23:57 编辑 ]

rubenUID: 2163558

The conclusion that the discontinue [to discontinue] stocking many of the varieties of imported cheese and concentrated [to concentrate] primarily on domestic cheeses to improve profits in all of the chain stores is apparently plausible when go through the argument at the first glance.However, by further inspection and evaluation, the president of the chain stores lacks the fundamental and crucial evidence to qualify its seemingly correct conclusion, [.] And the logic ratiocination is feeble and can be easily called into question.

First and foremost, the president draws conclusion simply from specialty to generality.According to the sell proceedings in the newest store that the five best-selling cheeses were all domestic cheeses, he broadens the case to the whole chain stores, without referring to the sell proceedings of other stores. Facts may be that, the five best-selling cheeses of other chain stores are all imported cheeses and have an appreciable advantage over those domestic ones. In this sense , the president's logic reasoning is intrinsically of crucial deficiency and cannot support the conclusion he made.

Despite of the fact that five best-selling cheeses in other stores are all domestic ones, the conclusion proposed by the president is also self-disapproval. For the first place, there is no evidence that shows the selling account of the imported cheeses is trivial and negligible, [两句间缺连词]they may remain constitute an appreciable ratio in the total selling amount.And there is possibility that the net profit if the imported cheeses outstrips the domestic cheeses. Finally, it is true that the inventory cost can be reduced by the truncation of th imported  cheeses storage, but it lack the statistics to show that the profit  got in selling the imported cheeses cannot compensate the cost consumed in the storage. Since one of the vital goals of the company is to gain profits, the adoption of the conclusion is bound to weak its income potentially and visibly.

Further, the recently survey do not represent the trend of the likeness of the subscribers, not even in the near future for the mood of the subscribers is changeable over certain circumstances. The preference for domestic cheese can decrease considerably and the likeness for the imported cheeses can increase in an unexpected velocity. All these can claim the falsehood and curtness of the  decision.

Finally, the survey does not indicate the pool of the consumers of the imported cheese is on the decline sharply. So by sticking to the imported cheese market, the profit gain in it can be remain considerable , And however, authoritative[->n.] of the Cheese of the World magazine  is [is what?] , it also has the propensity in making false surveys.

More substantial statistics presented and evaluated, the conclusion can be the promising one. But depending on the extent statistics, it is for less sufficient in making even a conclusion.Considering the nature of the existence of the company, the profit gain in its commercial activities and decisions is vital for its survival and prosperity and  it is unwise to link its future with such event.

小结：驳论语言运用较为熟练，但存在若干语法问题，建议上传前先用word软件检查一下~

结构上提两点建议：
1. 4、5两段建议换一下顺序，先批现在(即5段，survey本身的问题)，再批将来(即4段，现在趋势不代表将来)
2. 5段写了两个批驳点，但展开不够，个人觉得还不如只写一个攻击点再充分展开来得有说服力

个人意见，仅供参考^_^