ARGUMENT65 April作文小组第二次作业

九微火UID: 2343684

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 328         TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-3-28 14:07:22


红色是提纲。

In this memo the president of a chain of cheese stores recommends that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this recommendation the president points out two reasons. However, this conclusion rest on a series of unsubstantial assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

A threshold assumption upon which the recommendation relies is that the domestic cheeses dominant the main shares of markets. The president illustrates two facts to support his conclusion. In fact, both the facts can not be a sound evidence to draw the conclusion. First, what the propriety that the five best-selling cheeses account for the total market shares is not clearly. Provided that all kinds of cheese have a similar selling, only the best-selling ones can not contribute to the same quantities of selling.

Besides, the survey by Cheeses of the World magazine may not reveal the facts of the whole markets. The periods of the survey is not sure, and a short run phenomenon may result from other factors such as the qualities of imported cheese decrease and so on. Even assuming that the preference for the domestic cheeses is true, it is preference of its subscribers which can not represent all the consumers.

Moreover, the president fails in other aspects. First, he fails in considering the conditions of other chains of cheese stores. Their stores locate throughout the United States, while the circumstance of a chain can not apply to all stores. Secondly, to limit inventory may not contribute to reduce expenses. The expenses of a store include many aspects such as management, market stratagem, after selling service and so on..

In conclusion, the president’s argument is not persuasive. To bolster it he must provide clearer evidence that all the stores have similar circumstances that domestic cheeses dominant market shares and to limit inventory can really reduce expense.

[ 本帖最后由 九微火 于 2008-3-28 14:47 编辑 ]

liuliu8389UID: 2432168

In this memo the president of a chain of cheese stores recommends that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this recommendation the president points out two reasons. However, this conclusion rest on a series of unsubstantial assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

A threshold assumption upon which the recommendation relies is that the domestic cheeses dominant the main shares of markets. The president illustrates two facts to support his conclusion. In fact, both the facts can not be a sound evidence to draw the conclusion. First, what the propriety (what is the proportion) that the five best-selling cheeses account for the total market shares is not clearly. Provided that all kinds of cheese have a similar selling, only the best-selling ones can not contribute to the same quantities of selling. (这句话的意思我不太明白。既然有best-selling, 为什么会所有的cheese有similar selling呢？你是想说国产cheese和进口cheese的总销售额一样吗？还有就是你之前的一句话有一个first, 之后却没有second, 要不就去掉前一句话的first)

Besides, the survey by Cheeses of the World magazine may not reveal the facts of the whole markets. The periods of the survey is not sure, and a short run phenomenon may result from other factors such as the qualities of imported cheese decrease (lowered，修饰quality用lower比较好吧) and so on. Even assuming that the preference for the domestic cheeses is true, it is preference of its subscribers which can not represent all the consumers.

Moreover, the president fails in other aspects(我不太确定是否可以这样表达，感觉有些别扭). First, he fails in considering the conditions of other chains of cheese stores. Their stores locate throughout the United States, while the circumstance of a chain can not apply to all stores.(感觉前面这句话放在第二段好一些，都说的是cheese stores的问题) Secondly, to limit inventory may not contribute to reduce (reducing) expenses. The expenses of a store include many aspects such as management, market stratagem, after selling service (services) and so on.

In conclusion, the president’s argument is not persuasive. To bolster it he must provide clearer evidence that all the stores have similar circumstances that domestic cheeses dominant market shares and to limit inventory can really reduce expense(expenses).

可能是由于限时的缘故，导致论证不是很充分，字数也偏少。但总的来说，语言很流畅，语法和词汇错误也很少，可见楼主是个很细心的人:)继续加油吧！如果有评判不当的地方还请多指教。

九微火UID: 2343684

非常感谢你改得这么细，这么认真！加油！希望我们都有个好成绩o(∩_∩)o...